What do you think?

[ILoveDorito's]

Hello,
My gf and I broke up a few weeks ago... I need a little help with something. So she said the reason was is "she wasn't ready to be in a relationship" or somethin' like that. She said she wanted to stop and try again when she's ready to have a relationship. Now, I respect her thoughts and feelings but... is this really practical...? Before we were dating she was my best friend and now it's just like before we dated. I'm even seeing her today. She said she didn't like the whole "siamese twin thing" about dating. Like you have to be attached at the hip. I don't believe that's true at all, our relationship wasn't even like that. So is that just an excuse to get out of it? She claims she still likes me but I'm not sure. What do you think about all this? Then some other guy asked her out when we stopped dating, she didn't go but I think she's starting to have feelings for this other guy. She's talking to me less and to him more... I pray about it a lot. I just wanted to know some other peoples oppinions on the situation.

 

[Tumburu]

Alas, it sounds like she thinks you're not the right guy to be with in a romantic relationship. I've heard things said like this before and generally what it means is that they would prefer to date others. I think because you're friends, she trying to let you down gently, but I would consider your romantic relationship done. It sounds like she wants to continue a friendship with you, but when one person has feelings that are not reciprocated by the other, that can be a real tough person to be around. I think praying about it is a great idea. I hope that God shows you exactly what's going on and His will on the situation. My advice is decide if you still want to be her friend, but don't expect to date her.

 

[MagicStar723]

Alas, it sounds like she thinks you're not the right guy to be with in a romantic relationship. I've heard things said like this before and generally what it means is that they would prefer to date others. I think because you're friends, she trying to let you down gently, but I would consider your romantic relationship done. It sounds like she wants to continue a friendship with you, but when one person has feelings that are not reciprocated by the other, that can be a real tough person to be around. I think praying about it is a great idea. I hope that God shows you exactly what's going on and His will on the situation. My advice is decide if you still want to be her friend, but don't expect to date her.

Ditto
I'll be praying for you!

 

[EmSchmem]

It actually sounds like she's not ready to be in a relationship. Are the two of you young? Some people just aren't ready for that regardless of what their feelings are for someone. Some people are very aware of how much pain two people can cause each other when their in a relationship before it's time. They usually stay away from dating relationships until they KNOW they are ready. This girl sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.

 

[ILoveDorito's]

ok well the first two posts were right so you both get a cookie. And for you em, you get NOTHING... haha jk heres your cookie

 

[bliz]

Hello,
Now, I respect her thoughts and feelings but... is this really practical...?

She said she didn't like the whole "siamese twin thing" about dating. Like you have to be attached at the hip. I don't believe that's true at all, our relationship wasn't even like that.

First you say that you respect her feelings and thoughts, but then you say that her understanding of your relationship is all wrong and it wasn't the way she felt it was. You may not have felt it was a "siamese twin thing" but she did. Does she not know her own feelings? Do hers not count as much as yours?

Then some other guy asked her out when we stopped dating, she didn't go but I think she's starting to have feelings for this other guy. She's talking to me less and to him more...

Well, when two people break up they are free to have feelings for other people. Usually when people break up they see less of the person they broke up with... that's ususally one of the reasons they broke up. If one of her reasons was the conjoined twins thing, it would make perfect sense that you would see less of her.

I just wanted to know some other peoples oppinions on the situation.

If that's true, then you were rather rude to em when she offered you her opinion. You said:

ok well the first two posts were right so you both get a cookie. And for you em, you get NOTHING... haha jk heres your cookie

My opinion? Your former girlfriend was very wise to break up with you.

 

[pegatha]

She said she didn't like the whole "siamese twin thing" about dating. Like you have to be attached at the hip. I don't believe that's true at all, our relationship wasn't even like that.

Well, obviously it was like that, in her eyes. You have to respect her wishes. Even though it's a huge disappointment for you, she's really doing you a favor by not leading you on. Trust her judgement on this one.

 

[ILoveDorito's]

First you say that you respect her feelings and thoughts, but then you say that her understanding of your relationship is all wrong and it wasn't the way she felt it was. You may not have felt it was a "siamese twin thing" but she did. Does she not know her own feelings? Do hers not count as much as yours?


Well, when two people break up they are free to have feelings for other people. Usually when people break up they see less of the person they broke up with... that's ususally one of the reasons they broke up. If one of her reasons was the conjoined twins thing, it would make perfect sense that you would see less of her.


If that's true, then you were rather rude to em when she offered you her opinion. You said:


My opinion? Your former girlfriend was very wise to break up with you.

ummmmm o-k. First of all, I do respect her feelings and thoughts but I NEVER said that they are the same as mine. I never said anything about her understanding of the relationship was wrong. I said "I don't believe it was like that" there IS a difference. On the friend thing, she said we'd be just as good friends as we were before and nothing would change, she made me promise that it'd be that way and she promised too. Lastly with the cookie thing I was only joking, sheeze lighten up! On your last statement about your opinion, sure she was, I'm just a dirty piece of poo right? >_> Incase anyone else thought I was rude with my statement I apologize, I really appreciate all of your opinions and help

 

[Cordelia]

It actually sounds like she's not ready to be in a relationship. Are the two of you young? Some people just aren't ready for that regardless of what their feelings are for someone. Some people are very aware of how much pain two people can cause each other when their in a relationship before it's time. They usually stay away from dating relationships until they KNOW they are ready. This girl sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.

I agree with Em...me, personally, when I told my ex b/f I wasn't ready for a relationship, I meant it. It was a struggle (I felt horrible for going out with him in the first place) but the truth. Your post sounded like a similar situation, but I guess I could be wrong.

By all means, stay friends with this girl, and understand that she could be confused. There's big pressure on single people to get into relationships at all costs, even if it's the wrong time.

 

[SoulFly51]

So is that just an excuse to get out of it?

Probably so. Sometimes women like to tell half-truths (whole lies) if they think it won't hurt your feelings.








I speak from experiance.