What do you think of this mess I got trapped in?:

[mellowtone]

Here is my story of a disasterous "marriage", in a nutshell.
(I would like to hear some comments on this, please. )

I married "Jane Doe" several years ago after dating her for 8 months.
I was faithful , treated her well, paid the bills. I'm not perfect, but overall I was good
She knew all about me, my life, and income (low) well in advance. Nothing was hidden.
Three weeks after the marriage, she tells me: "You are temporary" & "This is a temporary marriage".
At first I thought she didnt really mean that and was speaking from being upset about something.
Yet, as the months went by, she would repeat this over and over, in the midst of a chaotic marriage
where I was the victim of mental, emotional and even physical abuse.
She comes from a Moslem background,but told me that she was nonpracticing and began converting to Christianity. I am a Christian who has studied various religions and teachings.

Much later, I learned that "temporary marriage" actually exists and is legal and acceptable in the culture where she comes from.

Here is a direct quote from the Quran: (book "Vassa'el) the Prophet
said: "O people! God's *Apostle has made temporary marriage permissible for you,
for quenching the fires of sex instinct,
so that ye may not be the slaves of sexual license, fornication or illicit relationships."this law allows the man & woman to have a temporary marriage
*referring to Mohammed

Of course I do not believe in this at all, and I think it is wrong. According to what I have read, this is common practice in some countries, and the man and woman agree to a specific length of time for their temporary marriage ( a few weeks, months or years)
Then there are some (like my "ex") who plan to marry temporarily without informing their future spouse, misleading him to think that it is a true marriage. She was already planning a divorce before she made the marriage vows.
Although she joined a Christian Church, she made good on her deceptive scheme to have a temporary marriage, and did everything possible to destroy the marriage with emotional and physical violence, and finally divorce.
I am left feeling jaded and "burnt" by this marriage "scam" that she pulled on me.
It's not so easy to get over something like that.
I think what she did is not only an insult to me, but also an insult and disgrace to our institution of marriage.
What are your comments ? I would love to hear them
I have one more comment on this that I will post in a day or two

 

[kanga22]

We have the beginning of the story...what about the middle and end (present)? How long have you been married now? Is the process of divorce underway - already happened?

Yes, this is messed up thinking on her part! Can you get an annulment (sp?), pretend it never happened, and see a therapist for awhile to help you get over what she did to you?

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I never knew such a thing existed; what would happen if a pregnancy occurred? I must admit there have been times when such a temporary marriage would seem like a good idea, but even in jest I know it would never be enough for me and would surely end in some heartbreak.

That is really unfortunate for you, but take it as a learning experience at least. I would have to date someone for a year before making such a serious commitment and I would have to see evidence of their Christianity in their actions. Marriage readiness classes through my church. I had just rededicated my life to Christ and knew I couldn't marry my fiance because he was not a Christian. (He had cheated on me too). After a few months he said he'd accepted Christ. It seemed real, but I didn't wait to see fruit. That was a big mistake.

 

[Autumnleaf]

If I married a woman and she said that to me I'd start talking to other women... If I had the resources I'd leave her immediately or kick her out.

 

[ShainaBrina]

I had no idea such things existed. Just doesn't sound like the kind of thing that goes with what Islam is portrayed as. Now I can see Muslim men taking Christian women as temporary wives - but not a Muslim woman.

I'm sorry you were in such an abusive relationship. I pray the Lord comforts you and heals your wounds.

 

[Sothron]

Its my understanding that "temporary marriage" is how some cultures have legal prostitution. I am sorry to hear that you were misled and abused by this woman.