What do you married folk...

[aReformedPatriot]

What do you married folk, find the hardest part of marriage to be?

I'm not married, but I think it would be great in so many ways, granted, not always fun and easy--but nonetheless great.

I look forward to that day.

 

[SumTinWong]

I don't have any hard parts that come to mind. i guess putting up with another person being a slob would be the hardest part for me

 

[rural_preacher]

Men and Women think differently. So learning to effectively communicate can be a challenge.



--

 

[Cright]

I'm intrested in the married folks responces to this too! I'll be married in July! Woohoo

 

[Kentucky_Girl]

For me it was just getting used to having that other person aroung everywhere you turn! I went through a phase where he got on my nerves by just being in the same room with me. I knew I had a tendency to be like that before hand though so we were able to deal with it without much problem.

 

[Sword-In-Hand]

Marriage is awesome let me tell ya! I dated my wife for six years before we were married and still to this day she lights up a room when she walks into it and honestly I hate it when she's not standing next to me. Just like everything else, if God is not the center of the relationship then there will be troubles, but if you keep Him as the center, then married life is truly one of the best gifts God has ever given us. Just remember that marriage is a holy bond, so if there is nothing holy about it, then don't expect to find too much happiness.

 

[Palatka44]

We've just celebrated our 25th and I'd like to vouch for Sword in Hand's true statement. However I'd like to add that both newly weds need to get a handle on spending and credit. A Disciplined budget can spare you a few fights and frustration.

 

[PapaLandShark]

Oooo...10 years now. Hardest?

Early on it was learning to live together in harmony. All the stuff that you used to think was cute but irritating before marriage all of a sudden doesn't fly when faced with Eternity. This is the time when you really learn to communicate. This is the time when "Never go to sleep angry" becomes a watchphrase.

Later, for us, it was the first 4 months of the miracle of our child. Kid radar pops up out of no-where. Try to imagine being awake every 2-3 hours for 3-4 months straight. Whew...that was rough but praise the Lord for the blessing of children.

That's about all that pop's into my head. It's been a glorious ride and I feel truly blessed each and every day.

 

[seebs]

What's hard for us is mostly learning to deal with each others' quirks. We are both pretty independent-minded people, but we've gotten the hang of it.

I guess... The hardest part is remembering what it was like to be in love when you're not. Being in love comes and goes for most people. A lot of people think "hey, we're not in love, I guess it's over". But love is something you do, not something you feel. And if you stick with it, it works out, and it's all good.

 

[Sword-In-Hand]

We've just celebrated our 25th and I'd like to vouch for Sword in Hand's true statement. However I'd like to add that both newly weds need to get a handle on spending and credit. A Disciplined budget can spare you a few fights and frustration.

I agree. If you can get a handle on a good way to manage your money, then that will eliminate alot of fights. I think money is either the number one or number two reason for divorce, so take care of that stuff!

 

[Matthan]

Keeping the friendship alive....

Matthan <J>< (Festina Lente)

 

[Matthan]

Oops, I forgot the first rule. I didn't ask my wife for her opinion before posting my last post. Sure hope she doesn't find out....

Matthan <J>< (Festina Lente)

 

[BT]

Lemme dig up the sermon notes

Found 'em

The Opposite of Love​

​

​

Int. – Relationships are so important to us. Relationships are an area that we find tremendous joy in, and equally or often greater pain. Why is this pain there? Who put it there? If you’re expecting me to say the devil, you’re going to be disappointed. No, the problem with relationships today is that we are not doing the one thing that we have been explicitly commanded to do. Love each other. Instead of doing this one thing we are in fact practicing the opposite of Love. I believe if we can get a proper understanding of the opposite of love, we can repair our relationships and begin a stronger walk this very day.

Before we look at the opposite of Love it is important to establish exactly what love is.



What is love?

This is not a question for poets, or songwriters, though some have tried to define it, usually managing to twist it more that explain it. This is a question for Christians. When Christians have a question we look to the Bible. So let’s look at some verses that help us to understand what love really is.

Matthew 5:44 – LOVE your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

John 3:16 – For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 15:13 – Greater LOVE hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 5:8 – But God commendeth His LOVE toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, CHRIST DIED for us.

Here we have only four verses. I had to choose four for the sake of time. This theme runs right through the Bible..

1. LOVE = blessing, doing good, praying
2. LOVE = HE GAVE His only Son
3. LOVE = laying down his life
4. LOVE = CHRIST DIED

In each verse, and in many more through the Bible we see that Love is active. Love is connected with "doing". More though, much more; Love is doing "outward". Love we can see can therefore be defined as selflessness.

If Love is defined as selflessness then the opposite of love is "selfishness".



One has quoted the situation like this:

That you may have pleasure in everything
Seek your own pleasure in nothing
That you may know everything
Seek to know nothing
That you may be everything
Seek to be nothing.




The Opposite of Love in our lives



The home is one place where often the opposite of love is practiced. Home is our haven, our resting place, the place where we are secure and safe. We can convince ourselves that the home is for "me" rather than the home is for "us".

The relationship between husbands and wives is very often the target of the Opposite of Love. We have to remember that love is first a concern for "thyself" and then a concern for "myself".

Turn to Ephesians 5:24-25 (read it)

Ephesians 5:24-25 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
The key to this verse – As Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. Why..because he selflessly loved it. He voluntarily layed down his life for it. Are you willing to lay down your life for your wife? Yes… sure it’s easy to say. Now, are you willing to take time away from your hobbies, sports activities, "me – time" for your wife? Nearly any man will say, "I'd die for my wife." But would you say, "I'll turn off the TV for my wife. I'll get off the computer for my wife. I'll clean the kitchen for my wife."

Look at v. 28-29 (read them)

Ephesians 5:28-29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Paul supports the point with the knowledge that we all love ourselves are willing to nuture ourselves… in the same way that we care for our bodies we ought to care for our wives..with the same zeal if you will.



** I used to burp. And it drove Heather crazy. I always thought she was crazy for thinking I was crazy. I thought, "what does it matter if I burp?" You can justifiy it by saying "It’s a bodily function so I might as well let it rip." This went on for awhile until a meal that I shared with another family. The teenage daughter of this family did the same thing… burped at the table….with gusto… I realized during the dinner that I couldn’t enjoy the meal as much because of this burping, and it dawned on me that the burping wasn’t about "my rights" (my natural bodily release) but it was about how I was selfishly affecting the others around me…

**

HUSBANDS and WIVES– If you aren’t considering your partner first. You’re practicing selfishness and not love. IF:

1. your hobbies come first
2. your money is "your money" (People lie to their wives about their paychecks)
3. Your time is "your" time (I’m too tired to talk to you… I need "ME" time)

The workplace

Ephesians 6:5-6

Ephesians 6:5-6 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
The key here for tonight is "the will of God from the heart". Remember the song "they will know we are Christians by our love?" It’s that kind of concept. From the heart, in love.

The way that we live our lives is part of our witness. It is the aspect of being "lights unto the darkness", or being "the salt of the earth".


Conclusion:

1 John 3:16-19 (read it)

Let’s learn to be selfless rather than selfish. Examine our motives our methods. Look for the selfishness in our lives and root it out. Let’s think of the needs of co-workers, wives, husbands, children, neighbours before our own. It’s time that we learn to love.

 

[rural_preacher]

Oops, I forgot the first rule. I didn't ask my wife for her opinion before posting my last post. Sure hope she doesn't find out....

Matthan <J>< (Festina Lente)

LOL!

(Just for the record...I got my wife's permission to laugh at this before I posted...after all, I wouldn't want to be in Matthan's shoes)



--

 

[aReformedPatriot]

Lemme dig up the sermon notes

Found 'em

The Opposite of Love



​

Int. – Relationships are so important to us. Relationships are an area that we find tremendous joy in, and equally or often greater pain. Why is this pain there? Who put it there? If you’re expecting me to say the devil, you’re going to be disappointed. No, the problem with relationships today is that we are not doing the one thing that we have been explicitly commanded to do. Love each other. Instead of doing this one thing we are in fact practicing the opposite of Love. I believe if we can get a proper understanding of the opposite of love, we can repair our relationships and begin a stronger walk this very day.

Before we look at the opposite of Love it is important to establish exactly what love is.



What is love?

This is not a question for poets, or songwriters, though some have tried to define it, usually managing to twist it more that explain it. This is a question for Christians. When Christians have a question we look to the Bible. So let’s look at some verses that help us to understand what love really is.

Matthew 5:44 – LOVE your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

John 3:16 – For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 15:13 – Greater LOVE hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 5:8 – But God commendeth His LOVE toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, CHRIST DIED for us.

Here we have only four verses. I had to choose four for the sake of time. This theme runs right through the Bible..

1. LOVE = blessing, doing good, praying
2. LOVE = HE GAVE His only Son
3. LOVE = laying down his life
4. LOVE = CHRIST DIED

In each verse, and in many more through the Bible we see that Love is active. Love is connected with "doing". More though, much more; Love is doing "outward". Love we can see can therefore be defined as selflessness.

If Love is defined as selflessness then the opposite of love is "selfishness".



One has quoted the situation like this:

That you may have pleasure in everything
Seek your own pleasure in nothing
That you may know everything
Seek to know nothing
That you may be everything
Seek to be nothing.




The Opposite of Love in our lives



The home is one place where often the opposite of love is practiced. Home is our haven, our resting place, the place where we are secure and safe. We can convince ourselves that the home is for "me" rather than the home is for "us".

The relationship between husbands and wives is very often the target of the Opposite of Love. We have to remember that love is first a concern for "thyself" and then a concern for "myself".

Turn to Ephesians 5:24-25 (read it)

Ephesians 5:24-25 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
The key to this verse – As Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. Why..because he selflessly loved it. He voluntarily layed down his life for it. Are you willing to lay down your life for your wife? Yes… sure it’s easy to say. Now, are you willing to take time away from your hobbies, sports activities, "me – time" for your wife? Nearly any man will say, "I'd die for my wife." But would you say, "I'll turn off the TV for my wife. I'll get off the computer for my wife. I'll clean the kitchen for my wife."

Look at v. 28-29 (read them)

Ephesians 5:28-29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Paul supports the point with the knowledge that we all love ourselves are willing to nuture ourselves… in the same way that we care for our bodies we ought to care for our wives..with the same zeal if you will.



** I used to burp. And it drove Heather crazy. I always thought she was crazy for thinking I was crazy. I thought, "what does it matter if I burp?" You can justifiy it by saying "It’s a bodily function so I might as well let it rip." This went on for awhile until a meal that I shared with another family. The teenage daughter of this family did the same thing… burped at the table….with gusto… I realized during the dinner that I couldn’t enjoy the meal as much because of this burping, and it dawned on me that the burping wasn’t about "my rights" (my natural bodily release) but it was about how I was selfishly affecting the others around me…

**

HUSBANDS and WIVES– If you aren’t considering your partner first. You’re practicing selfishness and not love. IF:

1. your hobbies come first
2. your money is "your money" (People lie to their wives about their paychecks)
3. Your time is "your" time (I’m too tired to talk to you… I need "ME" time)

The workplace

Ephesians 6:5-6

Ephesians 6:5-6 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
The key here for tonight is "the will of God from the heart". Remember the song "they will know we are Christians by our love?" It’s that kind of concept. From the heart, in love.

The way that we live our lives is part of our witness. It is the aspect of being "lights unto the darkness", or being "the salt of the earth".


Conclusion:

1 John 3:16-19 (read it)

Let’s learn to be selfless rather than selfish. Examine our motives our methods. Look for the selfishness in our lives and root it out. Let’s think of the needs of co-workers, wives, husbands, children, neighbours before our own. It’s time that we learn to love.

Thank You for that BT.

 

[P_G]

Do not fear marriage! It is great!

I think the hardest lesson I have learned it that words cannot ever be revoked and to be careful of EVERYTHING I say. Especially if I am upset or angry. It is oft times better to discuss things tommorow once you have prayed and thought them through.

Rembmer thats your Wife your talking to there! What would you do if another man just said what you are about to say to her?


I would just like to say that Miss Bonnie and myself have had only about 4 arguments in 14 years


Oh some advice

Pray with your wife every day
Pray over your wife every day (lay hands on her and bless her)
Read your bible every day
Go to church with each other every week
Spend time
Love her she is a gift from G-d
Make every day a first date day
Kiss her every morning and tell her that you love her
Kiss her every night and remind her that you love her
Be gentle
Be considerate
Be nice to her mom (trust me on this one)
Be a good dad!

Most importantly
Make Jesus first in your marriage and it will succeede


Pastor George
(available for weddings!)

 

[CountryMom]

I hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in your thread... (great thread by the way!).

Mine would have to be my in-laws.

 

[mesue]

My husband and I served in a marriage ministry for 5 years. The most important thing we learned was that our relationship to God was more important that our relationship to each other. But that the closer we grew towards the Lord the closer we grew towards each other.
We also learned that we as a couple were more important than the kids. But the stronger our love grew, the more it radiated towards the children, the more we as a family grew tighter.
Before my son was married he said "Mom, I want a marriage like yours." That phrase is more precious to me that diamonds.
This is the advise I gave my son before he and his wife were married was that love is a decision. I decide to love my husband everyday. Some days, it's a very easy decision to make. Other days it's a very contemplative thought process But I decide to love my husband daily.
It's like our walk with the Lord, I suppose.
We've only been married 15 years. It will be 16 on April 1st.

 

[MbiaJc]

36yr. and counting---I would say mine is how hard it is to love my wife as Christ loves His Church. Not just love her but love her as Christ loves His Church.

My wife says when asked. What she contributes to our 36yr of a happy marrage is not going to bed mad. Which is a standing rule in our house. That with the understanding that Jesus is the head of this household.

 

[aReformedPatriot]

My husband and I served in a marriage ministry for 5 years. The most important thing we learned was that our relationship to God was more important that our relationship to each other. But that the closer we grew towards the Lord the closer we grew towards each other.
We also learned that we as a couple were more important than the kids. But the stronger our love grew, the more it radiated towards the children, the more we as a family grew tighter.
Before my son was married he said "Mom, I want a marriage like yours." That phrase is more precious to me that diamonds.
This is the advise I gave my son before he and his wife were married was that love is a decision. I decide to love my husband everyday. Some days, it's a very easy decision to make. Other days it's a very contemplative thought process But I decide to love my husband daily.
It's like our walk with the Lord, I suppose.
We've only been married 15 years. It will be 16 on April 1st.

Awesome!