What do you do to cope when depressed?

[wonderwoman]

I'm currently in a depressed state.....i've been like this for 2 months. I'm on meds (effexor and depakote) and though my doc upped my antidepressant to the max dosage, not much has changed. I've been on the upped dosage for over a month and a half, but I still feel depressed. I don't have a therapist or much of a support system, so i was wondering if others here could share what they have learned from their therapy or life experience in terms of coping skills when in a depressed state.

When i'm depressed, i tend to socially withdraw to the point where i hate leaving my home. I only go out to walk my dogs. I also don't answer my phone and am not much of a conversationalist. Normally i'm pretty out going socially, but when i'm like this, i only want to interract with my boyfriend.

I'm normally a very creative person (i'm an artist), but when i'm like this, i lose all interest, drive or inspiration to create.....this really sux, since my art is one of the things that keeps me busy and purpose driven normally.

The only things i do to cope is watch tv, sleep or eat. This of course, gets old after a while and the boredom drives me mad. I also find it very hard to find god during these times. I just feel like a zombie....a shadow of myself...as if i'm just a shell who no longer sees in color. Everything around me seems in disrepair and i feel nothing but apathy. Even small simple chores around my home seem monumental. I'm just holding on and trying to ride it out....hoping and waiting for this episode to pass.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

You won't be able to will you depression away, you are mentally ill and need psychiatric drugs.

I am right there with you.

 

[Soulwings]

While you perhaps do need a med switch, I am with you on the depressive episode and creativity thing (as you know).

As for me, in depression... I journal. All of the time. I write down how I am feeling, what's going on in my life, anything that's in my head. Just getting it down on paper really helps. It's gotten to the point that I carry my journal with me everywhere I go (literally, unless it's a short car trip). I also write poetry - it really really sucks, but it gets my feelings out in very graphic language (this poetry I share with no one). Yep, writing is a huge release for me.

Other things... getting involved with people helps some too. And being active. Or both together. If you can go hiking with a bunch of friends, or out to coffee with a good friend, etc., etc. - anything to force yourself to get out of your house - that would be fantastic. The way to tear out depression (along with meds, of course) is not to allow yourself time to ruminate. (Journalling can be rumination time, which is why that has to be "monitored.")

At least, that's how it is for me. But... that said, I really suck at getting myself out of depression, usually just let it stay until it leaves of its own accord. There are some times when I manage to shake it off for a little while, though, usually when spending time with my best friend or my fiancé.

Hang tough.

 

[Everlasting33]

I'm currently in a depressed state.....i've been like this for 2 months. I'm on meds (effexor and depakote) and though my doc upped my antidepressant to the max dosage, not much has changed. I've been on the upped dosage for over a month and a half, but I still feel depressed. I don't have a therapist or much of a support system, so i was wondering if others here could share what they have learned from their therapy or life experience in terms of coping skills when in a depressed state.

When i'm depressed, i tend to socially withdraw to the point where i hate leaving my home. I only go out to walk my dogs. I also don't answer my phone and am not much of a conversationalist. Normally i'm pretty out going socially, but when i'm like this, i only want to interract with my boyfriend.

I'm normally a very creative person (i'm an artist), but when i'm like this, i lose all interest, drive or inspiration to create.....this really sux, since my art is one of the things that keeps me busy and purpose driven normally.

The only things i do to cope is watch tv, sleep or eat. This of course, gets old after a while and the boredom drives me mad. I also find it very hard to find god during these times. I just feel like a zombie....a shadow of myself...as if i'm just a shell who no longer sees in color. Everything around me seems in disrepair and i feel nothing but apathy. Even small simple chores around my home seem monumental. I'm just holding on and trying to ride it out....hoping and waiting for this episode to pass.

It sounds like things are just really frustrating for you right now. Not feeling in control and being controlled by depression can be unsettling. Just by reading your post, I can understand where you are coming from.

I was diagnosed with depression in 2000 and I was also put on meds. They never helped and I would never understand why. I wish they did because it would have certainly sped up my recovery!

Struggling with depression for all these years, I will say the number one reason WHY I have fallen into deeper despair and depression was because

1. Failed to love and become empathetic toward myself

That's it. If I began to self-pity, condemn or hate then it was all down-hill from there. The question for me was: Was my depression more in my thoughts or in my brain? I cannot be entirely sure but it seems to be more from my cognition and self-reflection than anything else.

I am certain that a lot of depression cannot exist if an individual has healthy self-esteem. I have finally acknowledged this and begun work in therapy toward childhood dysfunctions. The more I work on my self-esteem, the happier I am and the more productive and helpful my thoughts are.

I hope this makes sense! What you and I say to ourselves can make a big difference. Our expectations of our environment, performance, and self can either help or hinder our healing.

I would suggest journaling down the events in your day and mood. Obviously, something is creating depression and it is essential you and I figure out what it is. A lot of times, our cognitive distortions are so reflexive that we may not notice we think or say them. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Knowing what is upsetting you is the first step toward recovery.

I hope you feel better!

 

[wonderwoman]

Do you believe that chemical imbalances are not real?... That for some people their depressions and manias are not primarily biologically induced?

For me, when i'm not experiencing a depressive episode, my self esteem is not an issue. Everyone, to different degrees, have self esteem issues, but i don't consider self esteem to be a real problem for me when i'm feeling balanced. This is not to say that i don't have environmental baggage...everyone does, but it's only when i slip into a depression that my sense of self becomes distorted. On the other hand, when i'm in manic mode, my self esteem is grandiose which is another form of distortion. I used to attribute my episodes to certain crisis, but then when they suddenly continued to appear for no warranted outward reason, i finally went to a doc. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder since i exhibited the classic symptoms of extreme highs and lows.

I think if i didn't experience manic episodes, i'd question whether these depressions where a result of biology. The fact that they occur in extreme cycles indicates to me that there is something malfunctioning organically. The meds have helped consistently mostly for the manias, but for the depressions, the anti depressants seems to wear off after a while until i try a new one. All in all, being on meds sure have taken the edge off the severity. I think if i wasn't on any meds right now, i'd probably be suicidal. I still experience depressions, but they are no where near the suicidal depths they were prior to meds. Bipolar disorder is also something that runs in my family....on my father's side. This isn't an environmental thing because i never met my father and i didn't find out about it until after i was diagnosed. I also have a cousin on my father's side who is bipolar as well.

As far as feeling self pity....well, yes i do and i don't think that is neccessarily wrong, but rather natural. I do feel a sense of lament and loss for having this disorder and the toll it's taken on my life. It's depressing to be depressed and it's also traumatic to have one's life change so drastically because of this illness.

Anyway, thanx for sharing your experience. I'm glad your therapy is working so well for you.

 

[Everlasting33]

Do you believe that chemical imbalances are not real?... That for some people their depressions and manias are not primarily biologically induced?

For me, when i'm not experiencing a depressive episode, my self esteem is not an issue. Everyone, to different degrees, have self esteem issues, but i don't consider self esteem to be a real problem for me when i'm feeling balanced. This is not to say that i don't have environmental baggage...everyone does, but it's only when i slip into a depression that my sense of self becomes distorted. On the other hand, when i'm in manic mode, my self esteem is grandiose which is another form of distortion. I used to attribute my episodes to certain crisis, but then when they suddenly continued to appear for no warranted outward reason, i finally went to a doc. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder since i exhibited the classic symptoms of extreme highs and lows.

I think if i didn't experience manic episodes, i'd question whether these depressions where a result of biology. The fact that they occur in extreme cycles indicates to me that there is something malfunctioning organically. The meds have helped consistently mostly for the manias, but for the depressions, the anti depressants seems to wear off after a while until i try a new one. All in all, being on meds sure have taken the edge off the severity. I think if i wasn't on any meds right now, i'd probably be suicidal. I still experience depressions, but they are no where near the suicidal depths they were prior to meds. Bipolar disorder is also something that runs in my family....on my father's side. This isn't an environmental thing because i never met my father and i didn't find out about it until after i was diagnosed. I also have a cousin on my father's side who is bipolar as well.

As far as feeling self pity....well, yes i do and i don't think that is neccessarily wrong, but rather natural. I do feel a sense of lament and loss for having this disorder and the toll it's taken on my life. It's depressing to be depressed and it's also traumatic to have one's life change so drastically because of this illness.

Anyway, thanx for sharing your experience. I'm glad your therapy is working so well for you.

Thanks for the clarification. To answer your question: Yes, I do believe that chemical imbalances are real. Human beings are essentially driven by hormones in some way or the other. Women, especially, can concur with this during the time of the month. Sometimes, our brain chemicals will fluctuate and that is normal.

What I suggested was that some depression stems from cognitive distortions and not from brain chemicals. For the most part, bipolar disorder can be successfully treated, to some degree, with medications because of the hormonal irregularities.

Although self-pity is normal and is understandable to feel a sense of grief and loss when experiencing any type of mental disorder, it is not helpful and can be self-defeating. Having struggled with major depression for many years, I have always struggled with the thoughts, "Why me? Why can't I just be normal and happy? Why does life have to be such a struggle for me?" Those types of thoughts only lead to more self-doubt and misery. It is natural for us to feel sorry for ourselves but certainly not helpful.

Do you exercise often? Do you eat well and take supplements? These are tiny examples of how one can improve their overall health. What has your doctor suggested to you to combat your depression?

 

[Da_Funkey_Gibbon]

Tell myself I'm depressed. Sounds weird, but it helped me through my last depression - which was the hellish mixed-state type, with insomnia, racing thoughts, high energy etc... The best thing I could do to keep myself from doing something stupid was just to tell myself I was ill and that I was going to get better and these these thoughts and feelings were just an illness that would pass. And I was right.

Find meaning in your depression. Stopped practicing my religion when I got depressed, but I retained my belief. We Catholics do a thing when where we "offer up" our sufferings to Jesus, that is unite them to his sufferings on the cross. My depression left my fath in Christianity stronger because I could see that however bad I felt, I know that the Lord God had felt the same and worse in his passion and betrayal - and that is a not inconsiderable comfort.

I love this verse from T.S.Eliot in relation to depression:

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away—
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing—
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

Self-pity is a natural emotion to have and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. I freely admit I indulged in self pity when I was depressed, but frankly if you have Manic Depression you're entitled to a certain degree of self-pity. Just try and not let it get in the way of your life - turn your self pity into self respect. You have a serious disability that no-one else can every truely see or understand, but you're going to get on with your life despite of it. It sounds harsh, but if you have Manic Depressiona and you haven't killed yourself you are a strong person. Give yourself respect.

 

[michael714]

When I'm really low I need someone to talk to; the problem is it's not always easy to find someone I can call when I'm really low who I can trust with what's really going on. Holding my kids or just being around them sometimes helps.
I find that being at work or church is one of the best ways to break out of depression... which is why weekends are the worst times for me (when I'm not at church, that is) too much idle time on the weekends.

 

[Jeshu]

..Self-pity is a natural emotion to have and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. I freely admit I indulged in self pity when I was depressed, but frankly if you have Manic Depression you're entitled to a certain degree of self-pity. Just try and not let it get in the way of your life - turn your self pity into self respect. You have a serious disability that no-one else can every truely see or understand, but you're going to get on with your life despite of it. It sounds harsh, but if you have Manic Depressiona and you haven't killed yourself you are a strong person. Give yourself respect.

Yeah I know about self-pity, it burned out in the first years of my depression, what a completely useless emotion self-pity is. Or that is what I found, didn't help anything, but made things much worse. I was glad when it burned off along the way, good riddance of bad music. For yes we do fall badly for this one at times and always end up getting badly hurt. Please ask God to remove it and replace it with endurance a far more suitable emotional skill for someone with severe depression.

Have a great day!

Gerry

 

[wonderwoman]

Tell myself I'm depressed. Sounds weird, but it helped me through my last depression - which was the hellish mixed-state type, with insomnia, racing thoughts, high energy etc... The best thing I could do to keep myself from doing something stupid was just to tell myself I was ill and that I was going to get better and these these thoughts and feelings were just an illness that would pass. And I was right.

Find meaning in your depression. Stopped practicing my religion when I got depressed, but I retained my belief. We Catholics do a thing when where we "offer up" our sufferings to Jesus, that is unite them to his sufferings on the cross. My depression left my fath in Christianity stronger because I could see that however bad I felt, I know that the Lord God had felt the same and worse in his passion and betrayal - and that is a not inconsiderable comfort.

I love this verse from T.S.Eliot in relation to depression:

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away—
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing—
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

Self-pity is a natural emotion to have and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. I freely admit I indulged in self pity when I was depressed, but frankly if you have Manic Depression you're entitled to a certain degree of self-pity. Just try and not let it get in the way of your life - turn your self pity into self respect. You have a serious disability that no-one else can every truely see or understand, but you're going to get on with your life despite of it. It sounds harsh, but if you have Manic Depressiona and you haven't killed yourself you are a strong person. Give yourself respect.

I know i am very late in writing this, but when i first received it, i simply did not have the mental energy to express what your words did for me.
Now that i am feeling better, i am able to express myself more clearly.

Let me just say that what you said...even the t.s elliot quote, was exactly what i needed to hear. I love elliot and literature....that was my major in college so it's something i very much identify with. I cut and pasted that quote and want to tape it on every wall in my apt. for the next time i experience a funk.

I was raised catholic and though my spiritual conversion/growth occurred within protestant circles, i now feel more drawn to the gems i've rediscovered within catholocism. There are pros and cons on both sides i think and for me it's not that i feel like i have to choose to be on a certain team.....i mean, the invisible body of christ will always be kept alive by the holy ghost in each individual. We all are aliens and will one day be united in him in complete harmony so that's something to look forward to.

Anyway, i feel very much at home in the catholic family and your wisdom and words attests to the spirit of christ....the fragrance of him living in you. You made me feel "OK" to feel what i was feeling regarding self pity. I do have a right and god wasn't asking me to "look on the bright side".....there is suffering and darkness and lament and loss that christ experienced in gethsemane and at calvary. He must have been greatly saddened by his lot even though he knew it would prove glorious later......even though he had the foreknowledge (being god) that he would soon know exhultation and ressurection.........however, (and this is a big however), he was also fully human and, being human, he experienced the "then and now" sting of pain and darkness. He could imagine the future, but how difficult it must have been for him to concentrate on future glory when the excrutiating and indescibable torture of flesh impaled on wood was ever before him. How he struggled to catch his breath....with each gasp, his lungs collapsed...he had to continually decide whether to not breath or push himself into his wounds, while all around him were jeers and tears and the loss of his people's inheritance. Yet, He somehow had the presence of mind to not condemn his condemers (the pharisees) but instead, remarkably showed mercy where mercy wasn't deserved. Then at some point, towards the end, we are told he said: "my god, my god...why have you abandoned me?" He, for some reason, felt this. If he did, he, of all people, why would it be absurd for me to feel it when going through a particularly painful experience? I can't compare my pain to his....his was far greater than mine because, though he was god, he was also bound by human flesh and was wronged like no other man in history could have ever been wronged. Humanity killed their God, but their dying God gladly took on the garment of heaviness for their sake. So how much sense it makes to me what you practice....to offer up our sufferings to his cross and share together with him in his sufferings. When i began to do this, i did not feel such self pity, but felt a great burden lifted from me....my burdens were lighter because now he (the christ) was not only giving me his, but helping to carry mine through the nails and wounds of the cross. I cry out: "intra tua vulnera, absconde me: Within thy wounds, abscond me.".....these words are ever before me....a verse from one of my favorite catholic prayers.....that well known, unknown-authored prayer:

Anima Christi, sanctifica me.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.

Corpus Christi, inebria me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.

Aqua lateris Christi, lava me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.

Passio Christi, conforta me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

O bone Iesu, exaudi me.
O good Jesus, hear me.

Intra tua vulnera absoconde me.
Within thy wounds, hide me.

Ne permittas me separari a te.
Separated from thee let me never be.

Ab hoste maligno defende me.
From the malignant enemy, defend me.

In hora mortis meae voca me.
At the hour of death, call me.

Et iube me venire ad te,
To come to thee, bid me,

Ut cum Sanctis tuis laudem te
That i may praise thee in the company

in saecula saeculorum.
Of thy Saints, for all eternity.


Thank you gibbon, for helping me in my burden and conveying to me the message God was trying to get through to me. You are a good messenger and bringer of good news. Bless your feet and mouth and obedience. To remind me that it is a strenth that i haven't killed myself did wonders for my self perspective. By the grace of God, i am alive and well. God will teach me character and resisliance after all and for this, i find inexpressable, inexplicable joy even in the midst of dread and doom. Who can do this, but our God?

 

[bsd13]

I believe that the more time we spend around other people with problems the less severe ours become. We begin to see them in light of what they really are. So when I'm down I try to minister as best I can to others who are going through a tough time.

Aside from that I practice guitar, listen to music, write, etc, etc, etc

 

[Jeshu]

Activating Depression.
I fall, ever crashing lower,
Hellishly raging fires,
Tumbling deeper.

Dropping through floors,
Burning, hurting, sinking,
A bottomless pit.

Myself destructively dooming,
Tears, grief, much sadness
Flames licking darkness.

I'm disliked, hated, good rebuffed,
a stuffed pressure cooker,
Lifeblood draining.

I'm self-ish-ly grated,
Cursing the curse,
Think self-inflicting.

Isolated, lonely, sickly,
Black plagued thoughts,
Egocentricity frying.

Exhaustion pressing,
Light fearing,
Down dying dead.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Well wonderwoman at least you are not suicidal, that is great keep that up for sure. If you could totally shake your depression that would be great. Hang in there andI hope you will find healthy stimulation to make you happy, perhaps doing some bowling or shooting pool or karoking. Perhaps playing cards would be good too?

 

[wonderwoman]

Well wonderwoman at least you are not suicidal, that is great keep that up for sure. If you could totally shake your depression that would be great. Hang in there andI hope you will find healthy stimulation to make you happy, perhaps doing some bowling or shooting pool or karoking. Perhaps playing cards would be good too?

Thanx for your concern thomas.
I'm actually starting to feel better because i lowered my depakote intake. when i started doing this, i've been feeling better.
As far as doing hobbies etc....I have a million of them that i'm absorbed with when feeling balanced or manic, but the problem is that when i'm depressed, part of the symptom is that i lose absolutely all desire to take up my interests...that alone, depresses me even more since i'm an artist and the type of person who has lots of passions and hobbies.
I think what is best for me to do when depressed as oppossed to medicating myself with tv and sleep is to speak theraputically with people who care. I guess that's why i've been coming here.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I am glad you find it theraputic to talk to people on the internet, I do believe that is good medicine. Wouldn't you say the internet is a lot of fun? I swear only on rare occasions do I run into someone, who sounds mean and nasty, so far most people if they don't have anything nice to say they don't say anything at all. That helps keep the peace.

I hope to talk to you soon, keep on keeping on!

 

[RuthD]

It sounds like things are just really frustrating for you right now. Not feeling in control and being controlled by depression can be unsettling. Just by reading your post, I can understand where you are coming from.

I was diagnosed with depression in 2000 and I was also put on meds. They never helped and I would never understand why. I wish they did because it would have certainly sped up my recovery!

Struggling with depression for all these years, I will say the number one reason WHY I have fallen into deeper despair and depression was because

1. Failed to love and become empathetic toward myself

That's it. If I began to self-pity, condemn or hate then it was all down-hill from there. The question for me was: Was my depression more in my thoughts or in my brain? I cannot be entirely sure but it seems to be more from my cognition and self-reflection than anything else.

I am certain that a lot of depression cannot exist if an individual has healthy self-esteem. I have finally acknowledged this and begun work in therapy toward childhood dysfunctions. The more I work on my self-esteem, the happier I am and the more productive and helpful my thoughts are.

I hope this makes sense! What you and I say to ourselves can make a big difference. Our expectations of our environment, performance, and self can either help or hinder our healing.

I would suggest journaling down the events in your day and mood. Obviously, something is creating depression and it is essential you and I figure out what it is. A lot of times, our cognitive distortions are so reflexive that we may not notice we think or say them. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Knowing what is upsetting you is the first step toward recovery.

I hope you feel better!

I agree with this. Very good information.