What do you class as self harming? *Trigger Warning*

[Surviving]

I was just wondering what you classed as self harming. I use to cut myself quite abit. I haven't done now for over six years, although I do think about it quite abit and get urges.

What I have found though, is that when I get the urge to want to hurt myself, I would wash my hands in really hot water or I would have a very hot bath. I have found this to be quite relieving. Or, if I was doing any gardening, I wouldn't bother if I hurt myself. Would this be classed as self harm?

 

[Shattered]

To be honest, my husband kills two birds with one stone doing the same thing. He's got OCD and Self Harm issues and a burning hot bath serves both purposes. I am also a self harmer, mostly cutting, and I do know that I've been surprised a few times to find that some things that I do are classed as self harm, like obsessively biting chunks out of my gums in my mouth or banging my head against the wall and nearly knocking myself unconscious. I've also heard of hair pulling, scratching, all sorts. Is it that you are finding the pain of burning to be relaxing? Or is it just that you are relaxing in a hot bath?

 

[Surviving]

I mentioned earlier that when I get the urge to self harm I go and wash my hands in hot water. This kind of came out wrong. I don't go out of my way and self harm when I get the urge, or go an run a hot bath. I think I have got past that. It's just that I find the pain of the hot water to be relieving when I do wash my hands or take a bath. It's kind of done unconsciously. Does this make sense? I don't do it on purpose.

 

[tapero]

Just needing to make sure this hot water isn't the kind that leaves burns; but the kind you relax in. Using it as a distraction, like ice cubes or rubber band snapping. Staff wants you to be safe.

 

[Surviving]

Yes, it is. I don't want to leave burns or marks on my body...I've come to like my body. I just find that it helps to relieve...like rubber band snapping! Thanks.

 

[DaughterOFgrace]

what about picking scabs? Is this classified under the same category?

 

[mitiog]

I think it depends on your motive. It's not necessarily what you do but why you do it. For example, who hasn't accidentally cut themselves when say peeling vegetables or preparing food? That's totally different from SI cutting. I'm not sure what the official definition of SI is but I know for me what I need to avoid.

mitiog

 

[simplesurrender]

Bassically if you do something to your body, and feel pain in that act, and have done that act on purpose. then it is self harming. If you accidentally cut yourself while cutting vegetables or while gardening, it's accidental. not SI.

 

[Soulwings]

I've not self harmed in any way now for 82 days (and yes I'm an obsessive counter ... and not the kind you find in the kitchen, either!). In the past I've cut, burned, and caused soft tissue damage to my hand by repeatedly hitting the floor or walls or even myself on multiple occasions.

Right now I'm at a point where I don't really even think about SI much ... most of the time when I do, it just feels like a bad dream. Sometimes, when I'm especially triggered by something I've read or seen, I need to rub my scars, which does hurt sometimes but is usually just relieving, like petting a dog or holding a stuffed animal. Hot baths/showers are another way of distracting myself; I find that now when I take a bath or a shower, I'm using almost only all hot water (we've got the tub with the two knobs, one for hot and the other for cold). So I know what you mean about it being ... relieving.

 

[squigglemonster]

Bassically if you do something to your body, and feel pain in that act, and have done that act on purpose. then it is self harming. If you accidentally cut yourself while cutting vegetables or while gardening, it's accidental. not SI.

I second this.

If you are having a hot shower for relaxation purposes then it's not SI, you aren't trying to harm yourself to cause yourself pain. But if you have the hot shower purely to hurt yourself and cause yourself pain then it is, IMO, SI. It's hard to say exactly what SI is and what isn't, because for everyone it's different. Someone might find a way to hurt themself that someone else might do and not be affected by. Or someone might turn an ordinary thing (like a hot shower) into a self-harming thing.

 

[alilsa]

WARNING TRIGGERING In thread 8 said something about if you feel pain in it it is SI but I don't know about that. I have cut myself bad before and didn't feel it for days on purpose. I blocked out the feelings and sometimes that is worse to not feel how deep the cuts are. I only can judge then by how much it bled how bad it was. But I guess the endorphins killed the pain.

 

[katautumn]

Technically, self-harm is a bit different than self-injury. While all forms of self-injury fall under the umbrella of self-harm, not all actions are classified as self-injury.

Self-harm is a deliberate action that causes harm to the body such as an eating disorder, hair pulling, alcohol and drug abuse, etc. Self-injury is inflicting deliberate wounds to the body such as cutting, burning or bone breaking.

Not being bent out of shape over an accidental injury (or even savoring the pain) and taking hot relaxing baths isn't self-harm or self-injury.

Sometimes people who have stepped away from SI develop alternate, less dangerous coping mechanisms such as snapping a rubberband on their skin, rubbing ice on themselves or picking scabs. This is where the line between self-harm and simple coping mechanisms becomes a bit blurry, in my opinion.

But anyway, I wouldn't rule what you are doing as a slip-up or a sign you're reverting back into your previous pattern of self-injury.

 

[Gwen'sMom]

Biting my lip really hard and banging my head on a desk or wall.

 

[Im-revived]

For those that answer this your doing good and I want to encourage you that this is a good question of stepping out of Denial. I will be praying for each of you!!

Im-revived

 

[pockleberry]

There is more than just physical harm that people do tho isn't there? I'm sure I have had people tell me that mentally putting myself down or saying bad things about myself can also be self harm...

 

[Im-revived]

Your right pockleberry, there is also emotional infliction people put on themselves, this quite often is the starting point(not the root) but once your knocking yourself down emotionally it then can lead to physical harming.

Im-revived

There is more than just physical harm that people do tho isn't there? I'm sure I have had people tell me that mentally putting myself down or saying bad things about myself can also be self harm...

 

[mitiog]

Your right pockleberry, there is also emotional infliction people put on themselves, this quite often is the starting point(not the root) but once your knocking yourself down emotionally it then can lead to physical harming.

Im-revived

I agree with this, Im-revived, but I also struggle with it. I mean, it's hard enough not cutting but not thinking about cutting and not thinking bad things about myself seems almost impossible for me. Once I get on the "I hate myself" track there is almost no stopping me. Okay so I don't at the moment actually cut but it's like I'm hurting myself emotionally anyway. The best I can do to counteract that is to listen to scriptures that I've recorded onto my mp3 player. I know that it's God's thoughts that are going into my brain and I may struggle massively with what I hear (sometimes I react badly to verses that tell me I'm loved and other times they bring me great comfort, for example) but it's better that me hearing my own internal voice or even worse the other voices of people in my past that say horrible things.

mitiog

 

[Im-revived]

Mitiog, your doing the right thing listening to those scriptures, listening to worship etc, by doing this your mind is being filled with the Holy Spirit so well done!!

Something I spotted in your post really stood out, but is the truth in many cases of people who self harm, and that is:- 'Sometimes I react to things that say I'm loved', and another line you put was 'Once i get on the I hate myself track'

So in putting that together, you are saying 'I hate myself because i don't like admitting I'm loved or 'Im not loved so I hate myself'. I reckon you'll find almost all if not 99% of SI ers would admit the same if they were open about it. Have a think about this and reply on here if you can ok:-
2 questions to look at:-

1. Who or why do I think I'm not loved?

2. Who or Why has something made me hate myself?

God Bless

Im-revived

I agree with this, Im-revived, but I also struggle with it. I mean, it's hard enough not cutting but not thinking about cutting and not thinking bad things about myself seems almost impossible for me. Once I get on the "I hate myself" track there is almost no stopping me. Okay so I don't at the moment actually cut but it's like I'm hurting myself emotionally anyway. The best I can do to counteract that is to listen to scriptures that I've recorded onto my mp3 player. I know that it's God's thoughts that are going into my brain and I may struggle massively with what I hear (sometimes I react badly to verses that tell me I'm loved and other times they bring me great comfort, for example) but it's better that me hearing my own internal voice or even worse the other voices of people in my past that say horrible things.

mitiog