What do we do with the desire to be married again? I am not going to actively "shop for a husband" even if I had the time or energy too. I didn't do that to find the one God brought me in the first place.
Then you were (very) lucky...and frankly it's unrealistic to expect that again, for a variety of reasons. It's really quite simple: If you want someone special in your life, you'll have to make the effort to make that happen. I appreciate that you work hard and during off hours so that makes it harder, but if your desire to have someone in your life (and if things go well, to get married) is strong enough, it's worth the effort.
If you're firm that you aren't about to even try to find someone, then the only other answer is to accept the longing and loneliness as part of the rest of your life and find other ways to mitigate that. The obvious thing of family time aside, other stuff that can help a lot would be getting together with friends, community activities etc. I suggest checking out meetup.com, which IS NOT a dating/matching site at all, but rather a way for people in your local area to get together socially for a wide variety of interests. It's a total no pressure thing, typically costs little if anything, and is a great way to meet people, get out of the house, and make friends...and who knows, maybe meet someone to be more than that.
Where do you propose I start "shopping" for a date? Hang out in bars? Start asking random men if they are single and want to go on a date?
Good grief, no. This is not the 70s.
I would start here:
http://www.datingadvice.com/reviews I haven't used any of these myself, but know some who have, including one who found his future wife on one. Numerous others have as well. FYI these have come a long way since they initially got going way back when the internet was in its infancy.
I think I actually stated that I really want to find a way to be "okay" with the life that God has given me. How is that contradictory? I think that is actually learning to accept God's Will instead of trying to blame God for my unhappiness/discontent.
You might consider that it is not "God's will" for you to be alone for the rest of your life. Maybe it's His will that you try to find someone. But ultimately that is up to you.
I don't think that your website would really represent what men as a whole are like. My standards are much higher than having male parts and a pulse. I work with the general public as a whole and in the most stressful times possible. I see plenty of men who are doing their job to be good fathers and husbands and sons. I also do not believe that "all the good ones are taken" because I have known many wonderful men who never married for reason like they were taking care of their parents, were divorced for reasons out of the full control, and have been widowed at a young age (because women die young too). Granted, they may not spend all their time on online dating sites or forums discussing women because they are out living life and manning up. I don't believe that they don't exist...only that I haven't met any that are interested in me or are a "match".
Amen. Glad you're smart enough to ignore the silly stereotypes and cliches.
I have never had a problem in establishing relationships with men and often stay friends even after we decide we are not going to date...but you have to actually meet single men to get to that point. And they are not falling into my life at this point. Like I said before, I am not "going on a man hunt" so I am just trying to accept that maybe if God isn't bringing them into my life, maybe I am supposed to just learn to be satisfied with the life I have been given.
But the odds of a man just "falling into your life" are extremely small, as you're finding out.
Again, maybe you aren't "supposed to" be satisfied with being alone; God gave us a mind and free will, after all, so I think it's up to us as to what we do or don't do to try and change (or not change) our lives. I see that you have great demands on your time etc, but isn't the potential payoff worth the effort?
That's something only you can decide. I guess my point is you have options, difficult though they may be. No one - including God - is forcing you to just accept things as they are.
every time I even sort of go "looking" and completely fail, it just stirs up the dissatisfaction and sadness related to being alone...which is what I am trying to let go of.
ah hah, you HAVE tried
So it sounds like you are willing to make an effort, but it's fear of failure of that effort that's holding you back maybe? Understandable. That's a powerful fear for anyone interested in a relationship. But if it doesn't work out, you're just back where you started ie being alone, no worse off....while if you don't try at all, you KNOW you'll be alone. Not working out so far doesn't mean it will be that way in the future.
I know this is all easier said than done to say the least, just my .02. I regret if anything I said rubbed you the wrong way....and above all, I'm very sorry for your loss. For everyone's loss here, in fact.
