- Apr 30, 2013
- 33,402
- 20,706
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- United Ch. of Christ
- Marital Status
- Private
- Politics
- US-Democrat
I am 37 years old and I was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 33. I'm disabled and I've not worked since I was a teenager, and I cannot drive and I lost my license due to a horrible beaurocratic mess 2 years ago (not everybody in government is all that objective, IMO). I grew up Methodist and became interested in God as a teenager. I thought about how interesting in might be to live a monastic life of prayer, but being a Methodist I didn't understand how that could be- I lived in England at the time on a US-rented military base but I got involved with a group of strict "evangelicals" that were pietist baptist types and it turned me off from Christianity and I was irreligious until age 32. Since then I've had a religious struggle of sorts with hot and cold periods. But I still remember my times as a teenager.
Since then I've gotten involved in a relationship with somebody else with disabilities and there are issues to us ever being married, financial and otherwise And i'm trying to discern if I feel called to some kind of religious vocation. Sometimes I still wonder if I shouldn't check mysellf into monastic life (I attend an Episcopalian church, but I've also explored Eastern Orthodoxy- but I wonder sometimes if I'm too liberal for that. There's tension in me about those things, alot of uncertainty in my identity). I've also thought about going to school and studying theology and preach- several people that are not that religious have encouraged me to do so, in fact, but I'm not sure if there's any room in the Episcopal Church or Anglicanism for a preacher with Autism.
I love reading the Daily Offices, singing hymns and praying, and I've had some very powerful spiritual experiences in the past few years. I've also had a few occasions where I see evidence that my intercessory prayers have helped people, once in a very dramatic way. Socially- I'm capable and high functioning. I have made friends. I'm seen as bookish and a little aloof but I'm friendly and people usually find me interesting. But... social interactions are very draining, I'm very introverted and I spend alot of time alone. And I tend to be a bit scrupulous at times, I believe this is due to my Asperger's temperment.
Right now in my life it's hard to hear what I should be doing about all this, it feels like I'm pulled in too many directions. I also struggle with feelings of inadequacy alot, sometimes the feelings are very heavy.
Since then I've gotten involved in a relationship with somebody else with disabilities and there are issues to us ever being married, financial and otherwise And i'm trying to discern if I feel called to some kind of religious vocation. Sometimes I still wonder if I shouldn't check mysellf into monastic life (I attend an Episcopalian church, but I've also explored Eastern Orthodoxy- but I wonder sometimes if I'm too liberal for that. There's tension in me about those things, alot of uncertainty in my identity). I've also thought about going to school and studying theology and preach- several people that are not that religious have encouraged me to do so, in fact, but I'm not sure if there's any room in the Episcopal Church or Anglicanism for a preacher with Autism.
I love reading the Daily Offices, singing hymns and praying, and I've had some very powerful spiritual experiences in the past few years. I've also had a few occasions where I see evidence that my intercessory prayers have helped people, once in a very dramatic way. Socially- I'm capable and high functioning. I have made friends. I'm seen as bookish and a little aloof but I'm friendly and people usually find me interesting. But... social interactions are very draining, I'm very introverted and I spend alot of time alone. And I tend to be a bit scrupulous at times, I believe this is due to my Asperger's temperment.
Right now in my life it's hard to hear what I should be doing about all this, it feels like I'm pulled in too many directions. I also struggle with feelings of inadequacy alot, sometimes the feelings are very heavy.
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