What do I do???

[NiobiumTragedy]

I've been unable to convince her to elope. Her mother, sister, and brothers want her to have a wedding. They feel our relationship is very positive and would like to see her have the things she didn't have in her first marriage. And of course.... she wants to have a wedding. So it's going to take some time and planning to be a married couple. I could move to Texas wherein all I have to do is publically call her my wife. lol Just joking.

Just because you elope doesn't mean you can't have a wedding as well. Plus, this is your life, not theirs, and you need to both make the decision for yourselves. Weddings take time and are costly, but eloping would at least remove that sin from your lives where you could actually live as a married couple and be fine with your teaching while you plan the ceremony.

Simply put, you know you have sin in your lives that can come back and bite you on the butt. How does one person tell another not to do something when they do it themselves?

 

[Stealth001]

Just because you elope doesn't mean you can't have a wedding as well. Plus, this is your life, not theirs, and you need to both make the decision for yourselves. Weddings take time and are costly, but eloping would at least remove that sin from your lives where you could actually live as a married couple and be fine with your teaching while you plan the ceremony.

Simply put, you know you have sin in your lives that can come back and bite you on the butt. How does one person tell another not to do something when they do it themselves?

I agree, which is why I'll refrain from working in witnessing or any form of Bible studies.

I've talked to her about eloping. She wants a traditional wedding. She feels eloping would take the meaning out of the wedding... it would just be for show. I can sympathize with her. So until then, we're in a holding pattern wherein we'll try our best not to sin agregiously and be descrete with the fact that we happen to cohabitate.

On a side note... we've talked and feel that maybe our commitment to Christ and a church may have been premature. We should have waited until we were in a better situation. Personally, it feels like we don't fit. And after a few conversations with some brethren about our lives after we're married... they feel our marriage will be "cursed" because we lived together. After hearing that this past weekend I'm not feeling much like attending church or actually pursuing being a Christian. I'm not sure if we're cut out for it.

 

[Johnnz]

I agree, which is why I'll refrain from working in witnessing or any form of Bible studies.

I've talked to her about eloping. She wants a traditional wedding. She feels eloping would take the meaning out of the wedding... it would just be for show. I can sympathize with her. So until then, we're in a holding pattern wherein we'll try our best not to sin agregiously and be descrete with the fact that we happen to cohabitate.

On a side note... we've talked and feel that maybe our commitment to Christ and a church may have been premature. We should have waited until we were in a better situation. Personally, it feels like we don't fit. And after a few conversations with some brethren about our lives after we're married... they feel our marriage will be "cursed" because we lived together. After hearing that this past weekend I'm not feeling much like attending church or actually pursuing being a Christian. I'm not sure if we're cut out for it.

Well, just ignore that condemnatory legalism. It does not come from a well understood position on Jesus' teaching, and nowhere in the NT is your situation identified as outside of the scope of Jesus' salvation.

Historically, church weddings started around the 12th century, mainly for the elite. Luther is credited with introducing modern church based marriage. In Europe you can have a civil wedding, and a separate church one some time later. In OT times if a man raped a women he had to marry her. That implies sexual union creates a marriage.

You need to sort out what is man made condemnation and what God's requirements are for you. But you should not be going around with a constant cringe factor attached to your relationship with Father. That will intrude into your relationship too. How can you fully embrace each other, including sex, with a constant sense of judgement upon you? That is not living, or truly loving either.

John
NZ

 

[Stealth001]

Okay...

A good friend of mine just wrote me an email a little bit ago stating that I had to understand biblical Salvation. He states that my situation with relation to salvation is thus… I am:

• I am the elect of God before the foundation of the world.
• Christ died to atone for my sin in total.
• Christ took upon Himself the penalty, wrath, and punishment of my sin in total on the cross of Calvary.
• God divinely called and convicted me through the preaching of the Gospel outwardly, and conviction through the Holy Spirit, opening my eyes, through an inward call.
• Having my eyes opened and convicted by the Spirit I experienced “conversion”, wherein I repented of sin, was water baptized, and filled with the Spirit.
• After being filled with the Spirit by faith I was justified (made just) in God’s sight, meaning I was made as though I never sinned.
• Having received the baptism of the Holy Ghost my dead and lifeless human spirit was raised to new life (regeneration) and now I walk in a spiritual oneness with God by the Holy Ghost, through faith in Christ Jesus.
• I am “being sanctified” daily and this is a lifelong process wherein sin is worked out of my human mind and spirit and I am increasingly fashioned into the image and likeness of Christ.
• Death will end the sanctification process and then I will go into glory to be with Jesus, the one who died for me.
• In the Resurrection I will be raised in a “glorified” and sinless state wherein I will have fellowship with God forever.

He said that I am “justified through faith” and therefore God doesn’t see me as a sinner. Instead, Jesus, who knew no sin, BECAME sin that I might BECOME the righteousness of God undeservingly. I am clothed with the very sinless righteousness of Jesus. Yes, I still have a sinful situation in my life and if I surrender to God through prayer and ask that God transform me and my loved one, we will grow in grace and be sanctified through conviction. He is convinced that one day we will be married and mightily used of God. He states that Satan loves to take a situation that’s already been atoned for and a condition that is in a state of increasing change and accuse. This dear brother told me not to walk in condemnation and defeat, but rather walk after the Spirit. If the Spirit leads and guides to witness… I’m to witness. If the Spirit leads and guides us to separate, we are to separate. If the Spirit leads and guides us to elope, we should elope. If the Spirit leads and guides us to plan a wedding and marry within the next year, we are to plan a wedding and marry within the next year. He explained that Jesus died to justify sinners and lead them into increasing levels of sanctification until all His children are like Him. This brother states that God is clearly working in us and that we should not fear, but rather thank God for the blood. He states that I do not stand in my own righteousness, or a righteousness based on my own performance…. But rather an imputed righteousness that I don’t deserve… and never will. As far as God is concerned, my girlfriend and I are sinless through Christ… and being sanctified through convictions issued by the Holy Spirit.

My “position” before God is a state of sinlessness.
My “condition” before God is a state of increasing sanctification (with many areas that God will purify).

Okay… so now what? Now I’m a bit confused. Am I living in sin and unworthy to witness? Or am I atoned for, justified, and being sanctified, with an obligation to witness and share what God is doing in my life?

This Christianity stuff can be so confusing.

 

[Johnnz]

Or am I atoned for, justified, and being sanctified, with an obligation to witness and share what God is doing in my life?

Yes. Accept that. But with that you participate in living out that life in accordance with the Life of Christ within you. You are to witness to Christ's life and become increasingly conformed to that.

John
NZ

 

[Inkachu]

Blind post: Frankly I agree. You aren't living right, and you aren't in a position to be a witness to others. That's JMHO.

 

[Johnnz]

Blind post: Frankly I agree. You aren't living right, and you aren't in a position to be a witness to others. That's JMHO.

So, you are sinless and can witness truly then?

Have you ever read the scriptures and seen how God used imperfect, flawed, sinful (yes they were, blatantly at times, such as Sampson) people, or how often He rescued an unrepentant Israel who shortly afterwards returned to their old habits? Look at Paul's letters. How often he gave thanks to God for the new converts, while addressing their many faults.

Our witness is to how Jesus is in the process of changing and transforming our brokenness through His Love and Grace, not to our own perfection. We are all in the same boat, less than perfect people.

John
NZ

 

[gerardeflow]

Read Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18, 1 Corinthians 7:10-12 and Romans 7 2-4. Please ask for your eyes to be open and for conviction.

Blessings

Gerard