What do I do now?

[ambergface]

My name is Amber, I'm 20, and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, ADHD, and general anxiety disorder. (although I don't know how valid that is)

I am currently taking alot of medication (effexor 225 mg; and adderall). If I wasn't taking the medicine, I don't think I would be here today. When I started to try to get help, it was for depression. I would want to commit suicide, although I've never attempted recently. I would feel lost, and empty, and I would have no care for any one else. I would go from being extrememly hyper, to extrememly emotional, to just flat out sad. And sometimes I would feel nothing at all. I still feel that way somewhat, but the medication has made everything go down quite a bit.

I want to know, what do I do? I feel very lost, and still sad most of the time. I miss being the "old" me, and I miss my strong emotions. I want to get better, and I want to be able to not need medication for the rest of my life. I am very lost and confused about everything.

I really just want someone to talk to who knows what I am talking about, who is going through the same thing, or who can help me on the right path.

Thanks.

 

[Everlasting33]

My name is Amber, I'm 20, and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, ADHD, and general anxiety disorder. (although I don't know how valid that is)

I am currently taking alot of medication (effexor 225 mg; and adderall). If I wasn't taking the medicine, I don't think I would be here today. When I started to try to get help, it was for depression. I would want to commit suicide, although I've never attempted recently. I would feel lost, and empty, and I would have no care for any one else. I would go from being extrememly hyper, to extrememly emotional, to just flat out sad. And sometimes I would feel nothing at all. I still feel that way somewhat, but the medication has made everything go down quite a bit.

I want to know, what do I do? I feel very lost, and still sad most of the time. I miss being the "old" me, and I miss my strong emotions. I want to get better, and I want to be able to not need medication for the rest of my life. I am very lost and confused about everything.

I really just want someone to talk to who knows what I am talking about, who is going through the same thing, or who can help me on the right path.

Thanks.

Amber,
I understand how you feel and what you have and are going through. I was diagnosed with major depression and GAD in the summer of 2000. For the next five years, I was placed on a multiple of medications...too many! I have indeed felt very lost and confused during my road to recovery. I understand the frustrations and pains that are associated with a severe mental illness.
So, I do understand what you're going through! doesn't it feel good to know there are people out there in the world who do?


Amazingly, I have been off meds for a year, and that is a feat that I never thought was possible! The human spirit is certainly must stronger than we give it credit. Perserverence and just plain faith has gotten me out of my severe depression/anxiety.

Let me ask you this:

How long have you been on the medications?
When were you diagnosed?
Are you receiving any other therapy besides medication?

 

[Amin]

Hi,
I've been diagnosed with the same thing.
I don't know how long you've been on meds. usually takes about 30 days to see results.
It's very possible that you can get off meds.
I feel like i want the guy i used to be to be back again too.
It's like I'm someone else kinda.
Chuck.

 

[devotee]

Hi Amber ~ it is not unual for the medication to take away that hyper feeling and for you to feel lost and un-you.

Many people are on medication for their whole life, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Although i am not one to talk, after being on Zoloft for a year i took myself off, and have yet to visit the psychologist to be properly tested for adult ADHD.

I find that writing and drawing and gardening and walking are the best ways for me to take control of my head and emotions. I spend a lot of time on my own, because public and group situations just get me buzzing too high. I spend my time reading the books I've always wanted, and making the house the way i want it to be.

When i was on Zoloft i told myself it was just a short term crutch - a chance to get some space from my brain, and just to get to know myself better.

The Lord speaks of times of confusion as being a "crucible" which sloughs off the dross of our lives and brings forth the gold. This is what i focus on. The Lord also speaks about times of confusion being good for us - we are in the wilderness, a place where many people avoid. Life is about cylces, and for every trogh there is a cresting wave. You are in a place that many will avoid their whole lives.

I embrace these times. I have a list of activities to work through the real hard times; for myself i have found that many people are not interested in hearing about despair - Western culture just has no time for it. That's ok, it just means more fire to strengthen my belief in myself to navigate the turbulent ocean; and if the Lord wants me to sink beneath the waves, that's ok, i know i willnot drown, because i am told i am not given more than i can handle. Some of us have a lot of character

Great DVDs to watch are the Odessy, Dark City, v for vendetta, Orlando and the Counte of Monte Cristo - they communicate the perennial philosphy of belief in the self.

hope this helps,
devotee

 

[Jeshu]

My name is Amber, I'm 20, and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, ADHD, and general anxiety disorder. (although I don't know how valid that is)

I am currently taking alot of medication (effexor 225 mg; and adderall). If I wasn't taking the medicine, I don't think I would be here today. When I started to try to get help, it was for depression. I would want to commit suicide, although I've never attempted recently. I would feel lost, and empty, and I would have no care for any one else. I would go from being extrememly hyper, to extrememly emotional, to just flat out sad. And sometimes I would feel nothing at all. I still feel that way somewhat, but the medication has made everything go down quite a bit.

I want to know, what do I do? I feel very lost, and still sad most of the time. I miss being the "old" me, and I miss my strong emotions. I want to get better, and I want to be able to not need medication for the rest of my life. I am very lost and confused about everything.

I really just want someone to talk to who knows what I am talking about, who is going through the same thing, or who can help me on the right path.

Thanks.

Hi Amber

Know what you are going through but don't know the answer.
A Super strung emotional life, where we are severly unwell all of the time or a life of more sane porpotions on pills where we are often flat and down. I do know that we become more managable on medications but of this always a plus - who knows?

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

Hi Amber
I know what you're going through. I would have constant thoughts like you had (but no attempts ever) to the point of making a list of what I needed to take care of first. I knew that I needed help immediately before I actually acted on that compelling choice. It
actually took me a few weeks to get into see a counselor and my MD to get any relief. My meds started to help a bit within days but I have had to adjust the timing in taking them a little. I like you hope to not be on them forever but if they help and the depression doesn't go away I'll stay on them.
I think the biggest issue for me has been coming to terms with the stigma of actually having a problem as a Christian. I've heard "give it to God" "Trust the Lord" etc, but it's been bad enough that even God seems inaccessible. With the meds I've been ( a little bit) able to concentrate enough to seek the Lord. One thing I haven't lost is the assurance of my salvation. Know that God loves you and He has a plan for you beyond this pain.