What do I do? How can I have joy and peace? Long backstory.

[Ethan Redmace]

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[Ethan Redmace]

deleted.

 

[com7fy8]

I don't think living together outside of marriage is a sin as long as you are committed to each other, I think it is marriage. Partially, I have mixed feelings about it, so I probably wouldn't do it myself because I'd probably be terrified every day if I'm sinning or not. It sometimes feels like God is a strict jerk who won't let anyone do anything.

I stopped here to share with you on this.

So, you know God's word enough to know about the better to marry than to burn thing. My opinion is this is intended to work in a setting where a couple has various maturing Christian people. And they all know one another, and love together as family. So, the couple's intimacy is not only with each other, but they have various other people for loving which is family caring and sharing love. And others can see how their relationship is developing . . . that they belong with each other.

So, they are not just showing up one day in church and ambushing everyone with their plans to marry

So, I would not focus a lot of attention only on sex and when it is ok to do it.

But love and intimacy are much more than physical. So, it is good to discover how this is true. And this comes with sharing with various genuine Christian people. And the ones older can be much more mature in real love; so it can be good to get close to seniors and more mature couples so you can discover their example and how they relate.

And with loving any and all people, you can have intimacy with God who is the most beautifully wonderful and pleasant and kind and tender One. And discover who the others are who will be with you in this.

So . . . how are we doing? Do you want me to write more about what you are talking about?

God bless you And welcome to Christian Forums

 

[Ethan Redmace]

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[pdudgeon]

After reading what you wrote, I can see a few areas where you could use some help.
First, not really understanding what marriage is all about is very typical indeed for young adults. And that's not surprising at all, because today on tv, all they see is the sexual, physical part of a marriage.
In real life, that part is about 25 per cent of what actually happens in a real life marriage. And that means that the other 75 per cent takes up a whole lot of time in every couple's married life.
Having said that, the 25 per cent can make or break a marriage, but NOT for the reason that you are thinking.
So, on to part 2.

 

[pdudgeon]

Part 2.
Physical intimacy helps to bond a couple together, but only if they give love to each other, instead of using the other person for their pleasure.
That understanding right there is the very most important thing that you can ever in your life learn about marriage.
People who know and practice this principal have successful marriages. It's just that simple and just that complex.
The second thing to learn is to treasure your wife, and the third thing to learn is to protect her.
So, summing up, marriage is giving, sharing, loving, and protecting.
Learn and practice these 4 things and you should have a happy marriage.
Best wishes!!!

 

[Ethan Redmace]

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[Ethan Redmace]

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[friend of]

Thank you for your insight. I am single and asexual heterosexual female as said above in the big paragraphs above, but I appreciate it.

Your name is Ethan and you're a female?

 

[Ethan Redmace]

Your name is Ethan and you're a female?

Ethan is not my real name. It's one of my characters I made. My real name is Carly. Ty for asking though.

 

[Ethan Redmace]

deleted.

 

[aiki]

Online on Discord and other places, I try not to say anything like sexual jokes (and I intentionally go out of my way not to say any even when other people do and I suceed, but sometimes I feel I don't do enough and sometimes I make something innocent out of other people not saying innocent stuff), inappropriate justification of sin, and I try to always be kind/Christlike. I sometimes have said suggestive jokes around my immediate family, but I've tried to nix that and don't really say them anymore except yesterday I said the number "69" when someone else said it in a way different context, and I instantly regretted it even while saying it I think! Sometimes, I try to obey my parents, but feel I don't do enough for that! I'm overly kind to everyone and I try to skirt the line sometimes & give kind suggestions or say little when people tell me things that may be sinful.

What's first in your life? Who rules your life?

I said this even though I think marriage is a commitment and love of each other that doesn't necessarily translate to legal marriage. I have mixed feelings on this which is why I didn't tell him to go ahead and go to bed with her. Going to bed with someone doesn't necessarily mean sex though. Sometimes, I get anxious and worried about what is and isn't marriage, even though I'm a single autistic asexual virgin. The Bible does say "it's better to marry than burn with passion," but what is marriage?

Matthew 19:4-6
4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

Maybe, though, your question is actually: What unites a man to a woman in marriage? It isn't sex. When God gave Eve to Adam, He declared her his wife without any sexual relations having occurred between them. God did not say to the two, "Now go and have sex so you'll really be man and wife." No, they were, in God's eyes, husband and wife at the moment God gave Eve to Adam as his wife. We recognize this in modern marriage ceremonies, too. Upon the declaration of the presiding official, after the bride has been "given" by her father, or some other closely-related person, and vows of commitment have been spoken, a couple are married. And they are so, perhaps for hours, or even days, in some cases, before any sexual activity occurs.

My aunt's current husband lived with her for a few months before they got married. Was it sin and is God mad at them for that and will eventually break apart their marriage, or does He forgive them and hope to give them a long marriage, or was it even sin to begin with?

Yes, it was sin. Very plainly, it was. Is God mad at them and wanting to break apart their marriage? Well, He's very angry with all sin and every unrepentant sinner stands under His terrible, eternal wrath until they trust in Christ as their Saviour and submit themselves to him as their Lord, repenting of, and confessing their rebellious, sinful living to God.

John 3:36
36 "He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

Romans 2:5-11
5 But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
6 who WILL RENDER TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS:
7 to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life;
8 but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation.
9 There will be tribulation and distress for every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek,
10 but glory and honor and peace to everyone who does good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
11 For there is no partiality with God.

Acts 3:19
19 "Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away...

Romans 10:9-10
9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

I don't think living together outside of marriage is a sin as long as you are committed to each other, I think it is marriage.

It doesn't matter what you think. It matters only what God thinks. And living together outside the bonds of marriage typically involves fornication, which is sin.

It sometimes feels like God is a strict jerk who won't let anyone do anything. I understand God does stuff for our own good and He loves us infinitely and wants to protect us from trouble, but "taking every thought captive" is tiring and kind of extreme imo!

Be careful what you think and say about God.

Romans 14:12
12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Matthew 12:35-37
35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.
36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Taking every thought captive is crucial to a healthy thought-life and God-honoring conduct. It is a vital part of waging spiritual warfare. You diminish doing so at your own peril.

God forgives everything I say and do anyway, so why do I overly try and have such zeal for trying to do right even if it makes me anxious and terrified inside?

He forgives you when you confess your sin to Him and sincerely repent of it. But He won't necessarily lift the temporal consequences of your sin. Just because God forgives you of, say, looking at inappropriate content doesn't mean you will be instantly free of the damage to your brain and the twisting of your spirit that has resulted; just because God forgives a man for cheating on his wife doesn't mean his marriage will be restored and the memory of his sin forgotten by others; just because God forgives a woman for her addiction to illicit drugs doesn't mean she won't struggle - perhaps for years - with the physical yearning for those drugs, and damage to her brain, and relationships permanently ruined by her addictive behaviour.

But aside from this, every time we sin, we separate ourselves from fellowship with God; our sin hinders our joyful communion with God; sin keeps us from enjoying God, from seeing Him clearly and knowing Him deeply. We can't sin ourselves out of relationship with God, but our delight in walking with God, our happy experience of Him, is powerfully diminished by our sin. This is, in fact, the Great Price we pay as His children when we sin against God. (Psalms 66:18; Isaiah 59:2; 1 Peter 3:10-12)

Sometimes, I do stuff anyway, but I'm afraid of living because I'm terrified of sinning and I'm petrified of romance and I sometimes don't do much because I'm afraid it's sin or am afraid I am sinning. Family tell me God doesn't want me to live in fear.

You are afraid because you don't really believe the enormous love God has for you. When you do, that belief will cast out fear. (1 John 4:16-19) You aren't accepted by God because of your good deeds. God accepts us only because we are "in Christ," "clothed" in him (Romans 13:14; Ephesians 1:6; 1 Corinthians 1:30; Acts 4:12; John 14:6). Your sin, then, shouldn't make you afraid; it should make you grieve - grieve the loss of joyful fellowship (not relationship) with God. But sin makes God small and distant, it makes our hearts hard toward Him, and in this condition we can cease to care that we aren't walking in joy and peace with Him.

Why are people incredibly obsessed with sex?

Because sex is a powerful human impulse; because the culture has exaggerated sex out of all proportion.

I asked Jesus into my heart at seven. I told Him I am a sinner, that He is Lord, and that I believed He died and rose again for my sins. Instantly, I felt a change, but I was never really close to Him or did anything for Him. I was rude to people and was just a carefree young kid who did what I wanted without worrying if it was sin or not. Part of me misses those days, despite being mean to people and finding it funny.

Friend, you aren't saved by virtue of what you do, by dint of what you say, but by the Holy Spirit coming to live within you. When he dwells within a person, He changes them, He convicts them of their sin, He teaches them God's truth, He strengthens them, and comforts, and disciplines them. If these things are not in evidence in your life, I very much doubt you're a child of God. We know we are children of God, not by what we do, but by what God does in us by His Spirit.

Why does God have to put limits on who you can and can't love?

God doesn't limit who you can love, only with whom you can have sex. It's His universe. He made it and sustains it at every moment. Why, then, shouldn't He have the right to call the shots about what should and shouldn't go on in it?

I believe in mercy and forgiveness and redemption for all, no matter what they've done or will do!

That's nice. It doesn't matter, though, what you believe in. What matters is what God thinks and wants. He wouldn't be a holy nor a just God, if He believed as you do.

Yet, despite SWTOR (Star Wars the Old Republic) the game which was one thing helped me get through & partially forget my guilt depression and the gloom of quitting creepypasta the first time (though I would try to peek in incognito mode a little), having violence and the ability to play villainous killers which I do play on top of playing good guys too, I've never felt guilty about the game at all.

What you might or might not feel about sin has nothing to do with whether or not it's sin.

Quite frankly, what you've described of yourself to this point strongly suggests you are not a born-again child of God. The sort of evil in which you've indulged is abhorrent to God, directly opposite the sort of thing the Holy Spirit would move you toward were He dwelling within you.

I'm almost an adult. I got into SCP in 2021, but I didn't really feel obsessed or attached to it, but it didn't make me feel guilty like creepypasta did, but I feel like I'm too focused on if stuff makes me guilty or not. Sometimes, I feel fraudulent guilt made up by my mind. I can't tell or know anything anymore. People had me do this stupid brain balance program for my autism even today at times which started in early 2017. It made me more emotional and sympathetic, which is good, and I started to make actual friends in person. However, it destroyed who God made me to be. I could have had the same level of autism and still be nice! I still have autism, but I despise brain balance. It is an insult to God! People claim it was a blessing of God and I love my family and it is good to change to be nicer and sin less and be better, but trying to destroy who I inherently am is not Biblical and it's awful whether it's intended to be or not!

Friend, God isn't the least bit interested in you continuing to be who you are naturally. You are a naturally selfish, sinful, evil person. This is what God says about all of us in His word. (Ephesians 2:1-3; Titus 3:3; Jeremiah 17:9) We suck. Badly. This is why we so desperately need Jesus. Without him, we'd all be going straight to hell. God's interest is in making us all more like Jesus, not more like ourselves. He wants to change us profoundly, not exaggerate who we are naturally, making us holy, loving, gracious, truthful people, beautiful reflections of Jesus. (2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 8:29)

Sometimes, I feel like I should only focus on God.

God was at the beginning of your life as its Creator, He sustains your life all throughout its length, and He stands at its end, either as your wrathful Judge, or loving Heavenly Father. Your life is all about Him whether you realize it or not, or want it to be or not. Are you ready to meet Him? Do want to spend all of eternity with Him? It's what He made you for, not dark, vile video games and internet bullying.

Why do I keep loving God and trying to follow Him when it seems like He won't let me enjoy anything or really do or write anything without me worrying about if I'm idolizing imagination over God or sinning?

But you don't love Him. Not really. You love yourself.

I understand this is a me problem, but why does it feel God doesn't want me to imagine or do anything?

Because what you want isn't what God wants. You want your way; He wants His way. You can't serve two masters. There's only room for one on the throne of your heart. He made you to be ruled by Him, to serve Him. And when you do, fulfillment and joy unlike anything you've known will fill your life. Right now, though, you're a tangle of Self-rule pretending to honor God and doing a terrible job of it.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

The original marriage recorded in the bible was Rebeca and Isaac going into Sarah’s tent. Marriage was best described to me as the lead hylighting the partner and the partner hylighting the couple. But that’s just my 2 cents.