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What Constitutes Adultery in the Biblical Sense?

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by AVowToCherish, Jul 1, 2019.

  1. Strictly sexual intercourse only

  2. Any form of physical touch that you'd only otherwise do with your spouse

  3. Flirtation in person

  4. Sexting/exchanging images of a sexual nature

  5. Online flirtation

  6. All of the above

Multiple votes are allowed.
Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
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  2. snoochface

    snoochface Meet the new boss -- same as the old boss.

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    I'm sorry for your situation. But just curious, why the poll? Are you really just looking to poll Christians on their opinions of what adultery is? If that's the case, you didn't need the story - or did you actually want advice?
     
  3. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  4. NothingIsImpossible

    NothingIsImpossible Well-Known Member

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    Well by "more than friendly" but not intimate or sexual, then what would they be? Not being sarcastic mind you. Curious as to what an example would be. Like sharing personal feelings and maybe embracing their responses back in an almost love like way?

    Also if the photo was sent without you asking, not sure why it was your fault. Unless your conversations with said person were of a personal enough nature that she wanted to share her body with you. Granted it should have been deleted immediately.

    Everything else I am reading I would just say you both need to see a christian counselor. Too many issues have gone back and forth and now there is some spite involved.

    As for adultery. Technically any lust of the heart would qualify. Looking at porn (even without physical action), talking about intimate things with another woman, nude photos...etc. Granted in my mind I'd be more hurt by if my wife literally slept with someone rather then had a conversation.

    This is just my personal belief but todays christians are too quick to use the divorce option. They cherry-pick one verse as an excuse to do something bad. If they read their bible they would also read God hates divorce and never allowed it. Often is brought up the one verse where it is mentioned. But when read in context it is shown as a lesson (not a rule) that no matter how many times you say no to "is (insert new reason) grounds for divorce?", people will always come up with new reasons.

    In short if their heart is set on divorce, even though it is not allowed, they will pursue divorce to no ends and don't care about the truth. They will find a reason and a way to get what they want.
     
  5. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    I cannot vote in your poll since it does not contain the right answer.

    Adultery is a breaking of a covenant, the covenant of marriage. You cannot commit adultery unless you or your sex partner (real or imagined) is married to someone else. the breaking of a covenant is what separates adultery from other sexual sin.

    The incidentals of "how far" is beside the point.

    If she has had an affair, that constitutes adultery on her part.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
  6. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

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    She has committed adultery with another man. Grounds for divorce.

    You wanted a threesome and took the action to involve her in your desires, although you stopped short. You were also cake eating with other women to the extent one felt invited to send a nude pic. Not many women just randomly send nude pics. If you were flirting with one that was that kind of woman then you knew you were asking for it. There would likely have been quite a bit of purposeful mental straying along with all of this. Pretty close, if not into grounds for divorce in my book.

    I don't think you can analyze whose behavior was worse and who was to blame. You both engaged in unBiblical, marriage wrecking behaviors. You bear some responsibility for giving her your permission to have extramarital sexual experiences, and for disintegrating her expectation of your sexual fidelity in your marriage.

    Best to shift into the now. Do you want to be married to her, or do you want a divorce? If you want to be married to her, you need to pursue her.

    A methodology for pursuing your wife back after an affair has been found by Dr. Willard Harley after studying 10,000's of couples who were experiencing marital problems, many of these couples having experienced affairs. He observed the patterns of what couples who survived affairs did in order to experienced restored marriages.

    Go post on the surviving an affair portion of the forums at marriagebuilders.com and a host of volunteers who have used those methods to save their own marriages will give you step by step advice, for free. Moderators will interact with Dr. Harley for any questions the volunteers are doubtful as to how they should be resolved.
     
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  7. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  8. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  9. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  10. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    What are you unclear on?
     
  11. Endeavourer

    Endeavourer Well-Known Member

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    Pursuing her back is not preposterous.

    You won't know unless you pursue her with actions likely to win her back. The advice provided in the forum I mentioned above would be most likely to help you succeed. It will be a very difficult battle, but if you win her back and restore your marriage you will feel it was worth it.

    If you follow the advice but don't succeed, you'll know you did everything you could do in trying so it will help you not beat yourself up with doubt and regrets for the rest of your life.
     
  12. Sound Doctrine

    Sound Doctrine Endure Sound Doctrine Supporter

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    This is only an Internet forum, so keeping that in mind, I will give my opinion based on my life's observations and indirect experiences. You say your wife committed adultery. Twice. Maybe more, and with your son at home to boot. Regardless of what you have done and not excusing whatever wrong you may have done, if the divorce card were to be justified (I am not sure it Biblically is except maybe in the case of adultery), you should be the one playing it. What she did, according to your account here, is outrageous. Christianity does not excuse that behavior. Forgive, yes. Keep the marriage going? I don't think you have one to save, for it has been adulterated by one who does not seem to want to stop her behavior and is shifting her bad vibes onto you. It sounds like it has gone beyond Biblical reasoning. She probably wants out. She is struggling with her conscience a little, but you are struggling a lot more. It is best to remember that I have not read her side of the story. BTW, the poll has no correct answer listed in it nor is the poll needed.

    Matthew 5:32 - "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
     
  13. eleos1954

    eleos1954 God is Love Supporter

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    You need to add All of the above to your poll ;o)
     
  14. (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)

    (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ) Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The bottom line is this, adultery is any desire that is directed onto another at the expense of your spouse. Even a woman fantasizing about a man who is not her husband or a married man getting the second look at a young woman's body is adultery.
     
  15. Swan7

    Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

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    Now this I wish more people would say as God is our Saviour and King (among many other titles).

    Your wife is right to quote scripture and that very one she gave stands true. That is where you currently stand in her eyes. I don't know where you stand in God's eyes because I cannot see your life as He does. No one can tell you where you stand except Him, let no man deceive you. I know both of your emotions are running wild, but you two must pull it together and allow God to reign in your lives over your emotions and what you think is right in your sight over God's.
    This will be hard for a while, but with God's guiding Hand and whatever His will is for both of your lives, will be for the better. If you truly believe Who God is in the Bible then listen to Him. He's the only One Who can help you get through this. God forgives because He sent His Son to be on the cross in place of us because of sin, but if we ask and truly want to follow Him.

    God could be using this as a wake up call for both of you to get serious with God. God still uses evil for good, never forget that. God knows what is best for us. Prayers be with you both. :yellowheart:
     
  16. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  17. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  18. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  19. AVowToCherish

    AVowToCherish New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  20. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Sex (consensual) and abandonment.
     
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