What causes you to have low self esteem?

[0145xyz]

my answer would be regret, and I occasionally have a perfectionist state of mind. Is that the same thing that causes you low self esteem?, if not what are your reasons?

 

[goldenviolet]

being mentally ill, i think my thinking problems produce low selfworth. God wrestles with the sinners heart... i wrestle with my own thinking. i feel inadequet at alot of things and fall short of what i feel would make me normal. having said all this i'll add if it wasn't for the sword of the spirit, i'd be a wreck. God is so good
scriptures of promises and God never breaking His covenant with us; keep me at peace.

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:10-18

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

my answer would be regret, and I occasionally have a perfectionist state of mind. Is that the same thing that causes you low self esteem?, if not what are your reasons?

Perfectionist state of mind is me too (and I'm a control freak!). If things don't go exactly as I see them happening I decide that I must have stuffed up somewhere along the line and that doesn't make me feel great.

being mentally ill, i think my thinking problems produce low selfworth. God wrestles with the sinners heart... i wrestle with my own thinking. i feel inadequet at alot of things and fall short of what i feel would make me normal. having said all this i'll add if it wasn't for the sword of the spirit, i'd be a wreck. God is so good
scriptures of promises and God never breaking His covenant with us; keep me at peace.

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:10-18

You really love those verses Dee . (Although I agree - they're awesome and very empowering ).

Something a friend of mine said to me a while ago has stuck in my mind - she told me that 'normal is a hairdryer setting'. You are a fantastic super and wonderful friend just as you are Dee .

 

[Everlasting33]

what causes low self esteem?



When i measure my worth by my accomplishments...and when i compare myself to other girls.

 

[Luminaire]

My self-esteem comes from analyzing myself internally. Compared to other people, I am pretty awesome, people say I'm awesome, I know I am. But I see the sides of myself no one else does, and I tend to focus on those weaknesses and what I can do to strengthen them. especailly morally. It makes me feel like a horrible person, which I suppose is why I act like such a good person in the first place.

 

[sekhemsahu]

For me it has been a life time of abuse and people telling me i am worthless, as well as being surrounded by constant negative reinforcement. After years of hearing about how i am a waste of space from the people closest to me, it is hard not to believe it. I am still struggling with this now, and it is compounded bmy depression and social anxiety, but i think that being able to pinpoint the problem is the first step for dealing with and overcoming it.

 

[Gentle]

ego, spending way too much time thinking of ourselves
comparing,judging not just trusting God

peace, God bless

 

[Im-revived]

This is from personal experience, has got a lot better but I still have issues in areas with it. With me it was rejection, being bullied when younger, and also the abuse I had because I felt I was no good. Ive got over most now and can even stand on stage and sing, but just simple issues like eating infront of people I cant do, so i suppose it includes paranoia sometimes too.

Im-revived

my answer would be regret, and I occasionally have a perfectionist state of mind. Is that the same thing that causes you low self esteem?, if not what are your reasons?

 

[akaMorninglife]

Being a loser causes me to have low self esteem. Also, the fact that I'm just not an attractive person at all, and that my parents have never really loved me.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Being a loser causes me to have low self esteem. Also, the fact that I'm just not an attractive person at all, and that my parents have never really loved me.

I don't think you're a loser at all Chris

 

[tiredimmigrant]

The most common cause of self-esteem is the inability to deal with reality. It could be that someone has a problem doing things with a very short-term perspective, which they regret a little later: gambling, drinking, etc. Or, it could be that they are not good at doing certain tasks that they themselves judge to be important to them: saying "no", negotiating, etc.

The most important way to address self-esteem is to start by figuring out if one's evaluation of onesefl is right or wrong. For instance, a person might feel "I'm stupid for having done that", in circumstances where they actually took the best decision at the time. If the evaluation is incorrect, then one has to question one's evaluation and figure out how and why one is making the wrong evaluation.

On the other hand, if the negative self-evaluation is justified, then one has to work to correct whatever one is doing wrong, e.g. by figuring out how to stop oneself doing things one would regret, or doing to Dale Carnegie training, or doing therapy.

The important point is that telling oneself "I am fine", "I am good", "I am great" never, ever works to enhance self-esteem. In fact it makes thigns worse, because one feels even worse for trying to fool oneself.

Then moral of the story is: focus on being able to deal with reality, and your self-evaluation will usually follow.

 

[Soulwings]

Mental illnesses make me feel a bit different from other people - comparing always makes my self esteem hit the floor (at basement level, haha). Perfectionism - I have to either have As or (back to the comparisons) do as well as my sister did in her uni classes - and that sort of thing.

There's probably other reasons, but I can't think of them at the moment.

 

[Judy02]

Hi everyone

I've always been quite shy really I guess, as well as a worrier, and downplayed my worth and ability sometimes, but it's gotton a lot more serious since coming down with depression, it just seems to make it worse.

I also starting a new job on Weds! (not had a job for a while because I've been a student at uni) and not too confident about starting work, because I haven't worked much since being depressed, and hope I can cope with it! xx

 

[2scoops]

I believe a lot of anxiety, low-self esteem and depression may stem from shame. Shame can cause us to feel these emotions. It also can cause us to be prefectionists, people pleasers, angry, rageful, worriers, etc. I believe that shame, probably affects eveyone at some point. For some it becomes a regular part of life, and goes unoticed, especially when we goet physical symptoms, life depression and anxiety. I believe we as a country are getting away from the core teaching of Jesus and that is love.

It seems as though in society we have to look perfect, have a good job, get good grades, be a good mother/fahter, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend etc. If we don't meet these expectations, than we feel shame. It can also go back to childhood, some parents have shamed their children, therefore the child grows up trying to maintain this sense of perfection, because they were not loved unconditionally. If you think about it, Adam and Eve whn they first sinned were shamed, so they hid from God. After Cain killed Abel he was shamed and hid from God. His shame was because he thought his brother was better than him and got more attention. I believe this can carry down from generation to generation.

I believe it's key to find out what you may be shamed about, go back to your childhood, your current life pressures, worries, fears, etc. Confess them to God and ask help. But I believe with all my heart that shame can be buried into our life and if it goes untreated or unrecognized it my cause physical and psycholgical problems for us. Hope this helps, I know it was long, sorry.

 

[chloeobrien]

Being a rape and child abuse victim causes me to have low self esteem. I don't feel I'm pretty, I feel lower than dirt, I feel like anyone/anything is better than me. I don't think I'm smart, I don't think there is anything good about me.

 

[heatherq17]

When I look at other girls and see how pretty they are and thin and I wish I can look like that

 

[HeavenzAngel]

Being picked and bully by some christians because of my sexuality
bring bullied in school
my family(they aren't bad) but can be mean sometimes
having no friends
being picked on all the time
even at the store
alot of things.being told im not a real christian because im liberal
friends ditching me
having a boy name

 

[Im-revived]

Low Self Esteem can be worded different ie Personal Negativeness.

Many things can cause it but most are from pretty early ages,

1. Always being told youve failed or are not capable of something.
2. Being Bullied particulary by peers or school children.
I think there would be too many to mention, but once you begin to feel negative about yourself, it does seem to get worse till you get help, confidance building is needed.

Especially if your a Christian I want to remind you that when those feelings of failure, not good enough or even slight parnoia that God sees know-one like that. However you feel the Lord sees you all as wonderful people, chosen people.

Im-revived

 

[ChrisCountryGirl]

I have low self-esteem because the way I felt I was raised by my parents. I never really had any close friends. I had a few childhood friends but we drifted apart once we got older.
School was tough because I was bullied by some classmates, even on the school bus.

 

[ChrisCountryGirl]

I have low self-esteem because the way I felt I was raised by my parents. I never really had any close friends. I had a few childhood friends but we drifted apart once we got older.
School was tough because I was bullied by some classmates, even on the school bus.