My main struggles are masturbation and homosexual pornography. When I was around 10, I was walking home from school and this guy the same age introduced me to the sensation of pornography. Originally, I looked at heterosexual pornography, but I seemed to take an interest more in males. This interest then developed into attractions for the same sex. I am now 17 and I have struggled with homosexual pornography on-and-off all through this time. Recently, probably late last year, I discovered the sensation of masturbation, and this has become a frequent occurrence - I can't last a few days without stumbling. I always try and re-commit my life to God, but then I stumble again. Infact, I have just stumbled, and I don't know what to do. I always ask God for forgiveness, but then I keep on sinning, and then I ask for forgiveness again. I wonder if God will continue to forgive me?
I am taking the "Door of Hope" course on Setting Captives Free. My goals for the course are to be free from this dreaded trap, that is, homosexuality. I have been struggling with this for too long. On the exterior, everybody says I am "on fire" for God and that I have a very mature faith for my age. (In some aspects, I am and I do, but this is my major chink in my armour). I want my interior to be like my exterior - I want to be "on fire" for God and my faith to mature. I want to do things in the glory of God and my relationship with him to be strengthened, and my faith in him to become the most important part of my life. I want Christ to become my identity. And more than anything, I want to be sure of eternal salvation in Heaven!
I can never see myself with another man when I am older. Infact, I have feelings for a girl. These are loving feelings, not being physically attracted. I would love to be physically attracted to her. This would be a blessing from God!
I must also add one last thing... My brother admitted to my Mum in March 2006 that he was homosexual. My family and friends have accepted him, but my Mum said this was the hardest thing that she has ever gone through, and she has had severe depression for 20 years. I am still "in the closet", so to speak, and I want to remain that way for the moment as it would absolutely crush my family. No one knows how hard this battle is for me, but I am willing to fight; I am committed to fight! With help from God, I may
proceed.
I believe Setting Captives Free will help me severely, but I ask that you can offer me any extra support that you can. Please pray for me.
I am taking the "Door of Hope" course on Setting Captives Free. My goals for the course are to be free from this dreaded trap, that is, homosexuality. I have been struggling with this for too long. On the exterior, everybody says I am "on fire" for God and that I have a very mature faith for my age. (In some aspects, I am and I do, but this is my major chink in my armour). I want my interior to be like my exterior - I want to be "on fire" for God and my faith to mature. I want to do things in the glory of God and my relationship with him to be strengthened, and my faith in him to become the most important part of my life. I want Christ to become my identity. And more than anything, I want to be sure of eternal salvation in Heaven!
I can never see myself with another man when I am older. Infact, I have feelings for a girl. These are loving feelings, not being physically attracted. I would love to be physically attracted to her. This would be a blessing from God!
I must also add one last thing... My brother admitted to my Mum in March 2006 that he was homosexual. My family and friends have accepted him, but my Mum said this was the hardest thing that she has ever gone through, and she has had severe depression for 20 years. I am still "in the closet", so to speak, and I want to remain that way for the moment as it would absolutely crush my family. No one knows how hard this battle is for me, but I am willing to fight; I am committed to fight! With help from God, I may
proceed.
I believe Setting Captives Free will help me severely, but I ask that you can offer me any extra support that you can. Please pray for me.
