what are you feeling right now? (12)

[aflower4God]

Why was that so hard? lol He is so nice! But I did it.

Like your sign says in your CF character PRAISE GOD!

 

[SplendidTree]

Like your sign says in your CF character PRAISE GOD!

Aww, love that sis!


Right now I feel too awake. I dozed off earlier and yeah... lol I should try to sleep soon. Eager for counseling!

 

[SplendidTree]

I feel wonderful!!!

 

[aflower4God]

I feel really out of it a bit loopy. had too much.....
But anyway, please pray for that miracle that I need, it will bless many, yep thats right my miracle will bless many, trust me! if this prayer comes true you just wait and see how so many will be happy.
Thanks

 

[RuthD]

I am beeling anxious about moving but I have to remember this is still my home and I will not be homeless, I will find a new better lovely place.

 

[Lady Bug]

so lonely on all websites right now.

 

[derek W L]

i ate to much junk food today.,

 

[derek W L]

almost

 

[derek W L]

almost

 

[derek W L]

almost

 

[derek W L]

50 what did i win

 

[aflower4God]

((((((((((((Derek))))))))))))))
(((((((((LabyBug)))))))))))))))
[EDIT: CAUSE PEOPLE ARE SICK OF ME TALKING MORBID TALK, THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN, I PROMISE]

 

[skycastles]

Oops...didn't mean to post that here.

 

[Perhaps Today]

((((((((((((Derek))))))))))))))
(((((((((LabyBug)))))))))))))))
I am so messed up and I had a severe panic attack tonight I just took a full 1 MG of a xanax, strong stuff that I haven't taken in 6 months, but this panic attack was horrible, one of the worst that i have had since the beginning of Jan. So many triggers lately which brings me back to how my parents HATE ME to the core, and the fact that I have absolutely NO FAMILY anymore, no one NOTHING. This emotion has built up for a while, that and the fact that I hate being left out, I can cope, I feel that I can't cope with much anymore. My best friend had a break down as well cause she knows how close I am to just packing up and giving up on life. I let her down, I tried to fight this. I am so angry very angry at my parents, these triggers have brought back those feelings of how angry I am at them. They are horrible people for what they did. I feel so alone, very alone, and it is eating me up like cancer.
I don't know what is going to happen to me anymore. I just need to escape all of this. The pain, the frustration that I feel of being a failure at every single thing in my life. I do feel like this. I have nothing to say for myself, meaning I have accomplished NOTHING in my life.
I want to disappear, I want to be gone. I hurt so deeply and I don't know how I can go on fighting, I am exhausted from all of this.
Here I was trying so damn hard weaning off my anti panic meds cause I had to and I took a full 1 MG of Xanax, I had to, that panic attack was over the top.
Well, I don't know how I can fight this. I really don't. It is so hard living when I feel all alone in this world, It is very hard for me.
I am so glad that no one has to go through this and that you all have at least one family member who loves you..... the ones who did love me are sadly gone, as in deceased. Gosh I miss them, they loved me for me.
I am all alone in this world, what else can I do but to just give up.
Thanks for listening, I do apreciate it.

Flower, I know you're struggling, but please don't give up on life. I'm worried about you. I will keep praying for you my friend. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

 

[Lady Bug]

((((((((((((Derek))))))))))))))
(((((((((LabyBug)))))))))))))))
I am so messed up and I had a severe panic attack tonight I just took a full 1 MG of a xanax, strong stuff that I haven't taken in 6 months, but this panic attack was horrible, one of the worst that i have had since the beginning of Jan. So many triggers lately which brings me back to how my parents HATE ME to the core, and the fact that I have absolutely NO FAMILY anymore, no one NOTHING. This emotion has built up for a while, that and the fact that I hate being left out, I can cope, I feel that I can't cope with much anymore. My best friend had a break down as well cause she knows how close I am to just packing up and giving up on life. I let her down, I tried to fight this. I am so angry very angry at my parents, these triggers have brought back those feelings of how angry I am at them. They are horrible people for what they did. I feel so alone, very alone, and it is eating me up like cancer.
I don't know what is going to happen to me anymore. I just need to escape all of this. The pain, the frustration that I feel of being a failure at every single thing in my life. I do feel like this. I have nothing to say for myself, meaning I have accomplished NOTHING in my life.
I want to disappear, I want to be gone. I hurt so deeply and I don't know how I can go on fighting, I am exhausted from all of this.
Here I was trying so damn hard weaning off my anti panic meds cause I had to and I took a full 1 MG of Xanax, I had to, that panic attack was over the top.
Well, I don't know how I can fight this. I really don't. It is so hard living when I feel all alone in this world, It is very hard for me.
I am so glad that no one has to go through this and that you all have at least one family member who loves you..... the ones who did love me are sadly gone, as in deceased. Gosh I miss them, they loved me for me.
I am all alone in this world, what else can I do but to just give up.
Thanks for listening, I do apreciate it.

I really wish there were some place you could literally run away to

 

[Criada]

((((((((((((((((Flower))))))))))))))))))))
Some of us do know how it feels, sweetie - but God has a plan
You will get through, and there will be people to love you for the sweetie person that you are.
Please try to find some real life help, sweetie - I know it's difficult, but you can do it!
Praying.

 

[1 shy angel]

((((((((((((Derek))))))))))))))
(((((((((LabyBug)))))))))))))))
I am so messed up and I had a severe panic attack tonight I just took a full 1 MG of a xanax, strong stuff that I haven't taken in 6 months, but this panic attack was horrible, one of the worst that i have had since the beginning of Jan. So many triggers lately which brings me back to how my parents HATE ME to the core, and the fact that I have absolutely NO FAMILY anymore, no one NOTHING. This emotion has built up for a while, that and the fact that I hate being left out, I can cope, I feel that I can't cope with much anymore. My best friend had a break down as well cause she knows how close I am to just packing up and giving up on life. I let her down, I tried to fight this. I am so angry very angry at my parents, these triggers have brought back those feelings of how angry I am at them. They are horrible people for what they did. I feel so alone, very alone, and it is eating me up like cancer.
I don't know what is going to happen to me anymore. I just need to escape all of this. The pain, the frustration that I feel of being a failure at every single thing in my life. I do feel like this. I have nothing to say for myself, meaning I have accomplished NOTHING in my life.
I want to disappear, I want to be gone. I hurt so deeply and I don't know how I can go on fighting, I am exhausted from all of this.
Here I was trying so damn hard weaning off my anti panic meds cause I had to and I took a full 1 MG of Xanax, I had to, that panic attack was over the top.
Well, I don't know how I can fight this. I really don't. It is so hard living when I feel all alone in this world, It is very hard for me.
I am so glad that no one has to go through this and that you all have at least one family member who loves you..... the ones who did love me are sadly gone, as in deceased. Gosh I miss them, they loved me for me.
I am all alone in this world, what else can I do but to just give up.
Thanks for listening, I do apreciate it.

hi, i have been reading your post. i feel for you, it sounds to me that you need a friend. yeah i agree with ms. criada here that you need to seek help but i also think that you need a friend to support you and talk to you as well, not to push you away. i was once like you where i had no friends either, i have been pushed aside as well. please do not shut yourself off like this, i did this as well. my reasoning was that afraid of people, afraid that they were going to push me away. i don't know what your reasoning is, but there are people like me who want to be your friend before it is too late.
ms flower you are the reason i joined this site today. i wanted to share my story.
gracious, i can remember a day when i was so depressed (for reason i will not discuss) and i wanted to not be alive, i tried to reach out and tell people this and so many people pushed me away to tell me to get help, yes i knew that they were right but i was so lonely that i needed a friend, just one friend who would stick by my side someone that i could trust.
well, i got so upset that i just left the house and started to walk and walk and walk, my feet were killing me, i must have walked that much. i was very thursty and i went to a public library to get some water (this i know the public library was miles away from my home.
there was this woman there, at the library, and they started talking to me. i found myself telling her how i felt and how depressed i was and i didn't want to go on living and why (cause of my loneliness), oh my, i was talking to her for at least an hour. she told me that it sounded like that i just need a friend, one friend, someone who will keep me company that she would pray for that and suggested for me to pray as well.
so, she advised me to go home that God would answer my prayer, she promised me this. at first, i did not believe her, i was not going to go back home, but something in her eyes told me to trust her as if God sent her.
so i did go home and you know what, that very night i met this really sweet online friend who was going through the same issues i was going through. we talked and became fast friends, there was not a day that went by that we didn't talk. i felt my loneliness get better and ms flower you know what? cause of her, my online chat pal, i felt the support i needed and it gave me strength to go get the help that i needed. i didn't feel that she pushed me away like the others did. i think that lady i met at the library had to be an angel, and it showed me that God loves me more than ever, he supplied me with what i needed and that was a friend to help with my loneliness to get me motivated to go seek the help that i needed. a friend that i could count on, on a daily basis to talk to me about anything, we both talked about our feelings, she is a blessing. she helped me not to terminate my life, yes my daily online chat pal was a huge blessing from God.
i pray for you, i pray that you find that friend to talk to you on a daily basis, to support you and love you for you and not push you away. i pray that this happens to you before it is too late, you sound like i did, you sound as if you are ready to give up on life, you sound so lonely. ms flower that is what i think that you need, a daily friend, not someone who will push you off to others or professional help, i say this cause i speak from my experience. i had that done and my life almost ended cause of it.
you will be in my prayers heavily, i hope that you find that daily online friend that you need to support you and well, just to be that friend you need. i pray that your life does not end cause of the loneliness that i can tell in this post you made. i pray that this daily friend that you meet will also encourage you to seek the help as well as be that daily chat pal that you need.
please don't be afraid to open yourself up to the posibility of that one person who needs someone like you as a friend. i seemed to have been let down by many, but there is someone who will help, ending your life is not the answer and i am sure that your one friend who works all the time will miss you. i just can not imagine that God would not send that one friend you need as a daily chat pal. God knows your needs and i truly hope he sends it your way before it is too late. you are so sweet and deserve at least that much.
my thoughts and prayers are out for you. try to hold on there is someone out there for you who will be your chat pal, whos heart will be soft enough to be your friend. please don't die. i know it is hard, remember i was there. *praying*
*praying for others on here too*

 

[aflower4God]

I will NO LONGER post about anything negative EVER AGAIN on this site. This is a promise, I was told that people are probably getting sick of my morbid talk, they are getting sick of me! I will just not say a word about anything morbid or negative, period!

 

[Dan4Jesus]

I will NO LONGER post about anything negative EVER AGAIN on this site. This is a promise, I was told that people are probably getting sick of my morbid talk, they are getting sick of me! I will just not say a word about anything morbid or negative, period!

No body is sick of you. People are probably just worried because they care about you.

 

[aflower4God]

No body is sick of you. People are probably just worried because they care about you.

I will just keep my negative comments to myself and my real friends. Thank you