What are some things/traits you value in someone you're looking to date?

[Macchiato]

I'm curious what a thread asking about the flaws we are willing to look past in a potential partner would be like. As opposed to this thread, where we have created the perfect human being.

Of course, this could require us to accept that we ourselves are far from an 'ideal potential partner', and Im not sure I am ready to accept that nonsense.

I understand being flexible but along with that we must a list of red flags to avoid so we won't be too LAX and accept just anything.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I need to feel as if I can see my own reflection in someone (philosophically of course, not literally, obviously, that'd just be silly.) I'm not easily dazzled either - in fact, as I get older, I feel as if I'm immune to the external body. They could be perceived as physically ugly to some, but if she's creative, artistic and thoughtful then I'm going to be interested. If we share many of the same life views and she brings out the best in me, then I'm going to be MORE than interested.

Basically, it's a case of energies lining up and working as one. Unless that happens, I won't bother. I don't date, or pursue women, or anything like that - simply because I just don't feel a desire for it. But know, that if meet that 'special' person for me then it'll more than likely be an organic coming together rather than a cliche relationship. It probably won't appear to be all that romantic either. More of a non-linear communication that only we understand.

I'm hopelessly monogamous.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

I'm curious what a thread asking about the flaws we are willing to look past in a potential partner would be like. As opposed to this thread, where we have created the perfect human being.

Of course, this could require us to accept that we ourselves are far from an 'ideal potential partner', and Im not sure I am ready to accept that nonsense.

Great thread idea. In my opinion, no matter which side of the coin you approach the subject from, most people are too confident in their own ability to know who would be best for them. One relationship could change everything about what we choose to look for or avoid in another person, or what we would let pass. Also, I would tell you or anyone else not to waste any headspace dwelling on not being an ideal potential partner. To me it is all a matter of perspective. Someone might say a pencil is perfect because it is pristinely sharpened with a nice, round eraser, no cosmetic flaws. I would argue that, regardless of length, appearance, etc., a pencil is perfect if you can write with it, or in other words, if it is fulfilling its intended purpose. I believe our purpose for existence is to glorify God, and if we are willing to acknowledge our character flaws, ask forgiveness from God and anyone who might have been hurt by them, and steer the overall arc of our lives toward loving God, others, and ourselves as well as we know how, then we can walk around in confidence knowing that we would be a damn good catch for anyone we find ourselves compatible with.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I'm curious what a thread asking about the flaws we are willing to look past in a potential partner would be like.

Well, I know one thing I couldn't look past in my future Lady Knight ... because it would make her appear not like a Knight of any kind at all. And that is giving hints of being a violent psychopath. Who seems to have this philosophy that, so long as the victim is a "bad" person, then it is good to inflict pain and suffering upon them, or at the very least totally necessary. .... That was my last stepmother. And she also had this weird victim mentality where she was sure she was going to be raped someday if she didn't carry a huge deer gutting knife on her all the time.

Just not ever going to be able to look past a personality trait like that.

 

[MotherFirefly]

Great thread idea. In my opinion, no matter which side of the coin you approach the subject from, most people are too confident in their own ability to know who would be best for them. One relationship could change everything about what we choose to look for or avoid in another person, or what we would let pass. Also, I would tell you or anyone else not to waste any headspace dwelling on not being an ideal potential partner. To me it is all a matter of perspective. Someone might say a pencil is perfect because it is pristinely sharpened with a nice, round eraser, no cosmetic flaws. I would argue that, regardless of length, appearance, etc., a pencil is perfect if you can write with it, or in other words, if it is fulfilling its intended purpose. I believe our purpose for existence is to glorify God, and if we are willing to acknowledge our character flaws, ask forgiveness from God and anyone who might have been hurt by them, and steer the overall arc of our lives toward loving God, others, and ourselves as well as we know how, then we can walk around in confidence knowing that we would be a damn good catch for anyone we find ourselves compatible with.

Wonderfully written

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Noxot]

Well, I know one thing I couldn't look past in my future Lady Knight ... because it would make her appear not like a Knight of any kind at all. And that is giving hints of being a violent psychopath. Who seems to have this philosophy that, so long as the victim is a "bad" person, then it is good to inflict pain and suffering upon them, or at the very least totally necessary. .... That was my last stepmother. And she also had this weird victim mentality where she was sure she was going to be raped someday if she didn't carry a huge deer gutting knife on her all the time.

Just not ever going to be able to look past a personality trait like that.

and have you experienced real violence yet? it might change your view to some degree. though obviously peace is a better thing. but evil people exist and they do evils to people, it's why some value the military and... knights.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Some of the things I enjoy are music, ministry, the outdoors, and writing. I'd love to chat with the someone who enjoys these things as well. The ideal woman I would love to talk to will enjoy to laugh, eat, and knows who they are in Christ.

 

[MehGuy]

Freethinker (not afraid to be incredibly politically incorrect)
Progressive (but not in an SJW way..)
Pain/romance empathy..
A woman who can be coarse at times yet gentle and sweet the next.

There has to be physical attraction. Female attractiveness can largely be summed up in degrees of neoteny. Large colorful eyes are a huge turn on for me. Although since I do not see anyone here getting into any real detail regarding their physical attractions in a partner, I'll play it fair and keep my turns vague as well. Besides the "eyes" thing I guess.. lol.. although I don't see too many women getting bent out of shape about that.. lol.

 

[James of Arc]

Traits i look for in a person to date.

Singleness, thaz got to be single.
Breathing, i like women who are breathing.
Nice legs, If they dont have nice legs we have no reason to carry on.
Simple yet elegant, love simple country girls but they have to carry thenselves in a way that keeps my attention.
A little bit crazy and a little bit lazy, i like women who can howl at the moon on Friday night but then set around on the couch in their underwear all day saturday doing nothin but hang with me.
I dont like women who drink. I have learned that women who drink are weak. Booze takes their natural toughness out of them.

 

[MehGuy]

Traits i look for in a person to date.

Singleness, thaz got to be single.
Breathing, i like women who are breathing.
Nice legs, If they dont have nice legs we have no reason to carry on.
Simple yet elegant, love simple country girls but they have to carry thenselves in a way that keeps my attention.
A little bit crazy and a little bit lazy, i like women who can howl at the moon on Friday night but then set around on the couch in their underwear all day saturday doing nothin but hang with me.
I dont like women who drink. I have learned that women who drink are weak. Booze takes their natural toughness out of them.

Do you like women who like men who drink? Lol.

 

[James of Arc]

Do you like women who like men who drink? Lol.

Thats actually a respectable question and the answers is no in general. A woman who dates a man who drinks more than social is a woman with low self-esteem and i like strong, tuff women. Not mean women but strong and tuff.
Women with low self-esteem will throw themselves at anybody who gives them attention and they just are not worth all the trouble they produce.

 

[MehGuy]

Thats actually a respectable question and the answers is no in general. A woman who dates a man who drinks more than social is a woman with low self-esteem and i like strong, tuff women. Not mean women but strong and tuff.
Women with low self-esteem will throw themselves at anybody who gives them attention and they just are not worth all the trouble they produce.

Really depends.. men like Christopher Hitchens had a drinking problem.. yet he was able to conduct a productive and meaningful life.

 

[James of Arc]

Really depends.. men like Christopher Hitchens had a drinking problem.. yet he was able to conduct a productive and meaningful life.

General U S Grant was known to be an extream drinker but we are talking men who are not average here. My answer is ment for average america. And woman who would date a drunk has no self-esteem in general. If she has value she can do better than a drunk.

 

[MehGuy]

General U S Grant was known to be an extream drinker but we are talking men who are not average here. My answer is ment for average america. And woman who would date a drunk has no self-esteem in general. If she has value she can do better than a drunk.

Even average men who drink a lot.. they don't have to be living in a gutter and beating their wife every time they're angry..

It's not ideal (mainly the health problems that can come).. but just because a woman is with a man who drinks a lot doesn't mean she has low self esteem.

 

[James of Arc]

Even average men who drink a lot.. they don't have to be living in a gutter and beating their wife every time they're angry..

It's not ideal (mainly the health problems that can come).. but just because a woman is with a man who drinks a lot doesn't mean she has low self esteem.

Statistical speaking it does mean they have low self-esteem. And they will go fro loser to loser for their whole life.

I look at my mom. My dad was a drunk. After 15 years of marriage she was tired of him but yet 5 years later she married a guy who drank from sun up to bed time. Why did she pick him? Because she had no self-esteem to get a normal guy.

 

[MehGuy]

Statistical speaking it does mean they have low self-esteem. And they will go fro loser to loser for their whole life.

I look at my mom. My dad was a drunk. After 15 years of marriage she was tired of him but yet 5 years later she married a guy why drank from sun up to bed time. Why did she pick him? Because she had no self-esteem to get a normal guy.

Statistically? Do you have any studies backing this? I think in reality it's more complicated and that many heavy drinkers do not often fit the stereotypes. For many it might be a flaw for their partner but them being with them doesn't equal low self esteem.

 

[James of Arc]

In general what i am saying is that in a date i look for women who have strength and purpose but yet still know how to have fun.

Having a person with low self-esteem will partner you with somebody you have to drag along with you in life when what i look for is somebody who will push me foreword in life.

 

[James of Arc]

Statistically? Do you have any studies backing this? I think in reality it's more complicated and that many heavy drinkers do not often fit the stereotypes. For many it might be a flaw for their partner but them being with them doesn't equal low self esteem.

Here are my statistics.......

 

[MehGuy]

In general what i am saying is that in a date i look for women who have strength and purpose but yet still know how to have fun.

Having a person with low self-esteem will partner you with somebody you have to drag along with you in life when what i look for is somebody who will push me foreword in life.

You're a racist towards alcoholics.. my SJW friends will hear about this..