what am I doing?!?!

[fragmentsofbeauty]

I always used to be able to resist, now I did it again only a half hour ago.
two days ago my legs were just like everyone else's now the whole inside of my thigh is covered in red scrapes and I want to do it again, still!!!
This isn't me, nothing has even happened out of the ordinary to trigger it really and I know that God is with me and things could be alright but I'm doing it anyways.

What's wrong with me I wonder?

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I'm not an expert, but when you find that you want to cut, could you try going for a jog instead? As I'm sure the others will tell you, this isn't something you want to get into if you can at all avoid it.
I'm praying for you sweetie.
Shalom,
Steffi

 

[HolyOne87]

I'm not an expert, but when you find that you want to cut, could you try going for a jog instead? As I'm sure the others will tell you, this isn't something you want to get into if you can at all avoid it.
I'm praying for you sweetie.
Shalom,
Steffi

Yup, you dont want to get into this habit. If you do, it will be terribly hard to break(trust me, I know..took me about 1 year or longer to break mine). As Steffi said, try and do other things(positive things) to get your mind off of it. As I have said to many people, you are stronger than this! You can stop..and live a healthier life again.
I am positive you can. I was a cutter at one point and stopped because I found out I hurt someone who I really cared for and I didnt want to do that. So I kept telling myself everytime I had an urge to cut, "Do not hurt yourself, because if you do, you are also hurting *persons name here*" (didnt really want to add the persons name).
I am sure you live a wonderful life..so focus in on those wonderful things..Maybe its friends or family that make your life wonderful..Whatever it is, focus in on that and maybe that'll help you not get these triggered feelings.

Feel Better!!!

 

[xXbrokenXx]

I always used to be able to resist, now I did it again only a half hour ago.
two days ago my legs were just like everyone else's now the whole inside of my thigh is covered in red scrapes and I want to do it again, still!!!
This isn't me, nothing has even happened out of the ordinary to trigger it really and I know that God is with me and things could be alright but I'm doing it anyways.

What's wrong with me I wonder?

i know what thats like. ive been cutting since i was 12 and im 14 now. But please! stop before it starts. seriously! it's unbelievably hard to brake the cycle once you've started and you can't stop. You dont wanna ruin your body. Have to deal with wear long clothes even in hot weather. Its tough. Just think ahead. it's crazy how many people are doing it these days. and i bet most of them becoz its the "cool thing to do" :o that really makes me mad when people do that. Anyways........when you feel like cutting, distract yourself. call a friend. Get out! you may be thinking "oh, it wont be hard to hide the cuts and scars" well........if your thinkin that, you are so very wrong. its miserable. please stop.
Best wishes and take care.
--hillary

 

[fragmentsofbeauty]

ok first thanks to all you guys for your encouragement and advice. It really means tons!
And second I've made up my mind I'm not gonna let myself keep doing this no matter how much I want to, I already have scars on my wrists(suicide attempt) and now legs so shorts and t-shirts are off-limits and its summer and its hard. And also you know how it "feels better" to do it and pain is what I turn to for comfort but turning to God feels SO SO much better than that or ANYTHING and I have to keep learning to let HIM fill all my needs instead of anything else. So yes I still have issues I need to work through but I also know that when I am turning to God for everything then....I can make it, and not only make it but praise God in the storm. Praise...as in rejoicing even through my tears. I pray I won't lose sight of that truth because it is life-changing.....really, it is

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

ok first thanks to all you guys for your encouragement and advice. It really means tons!
And second I've made up my mind I'm not gonna let myself keep doing this no matter how much I want to, I already have scars on my wrists(suicide attempt) and now legs so shorts and t-shirts are off-limits and its summer and its hard. And also you know how it "feels better" to do it and pain is what I turn to for comfort but turning to God feels SO SO much better than that or ANYTHING and I have to keep learning to let HIM fill all my needs instead of anything else. So yes I still have issues I need to work through but I also know that when I am turning to God for everything then....I can make it, and not only make it but praise God in the storm. Praise...as in rejoicing even through my tears. I pray I won't lose sight of that truth because it is life-changing.....really, it is

Christina, that's awesome! Sweetie, we'll be here the whole time to encourage you

 

[borderliner]

It's all part of the recovery process. It happens to all of us, and will happen again. You can't recover without doing it again. Good luck. I promise you, you will heal for good one day. You are still young.

 

[iamarock]

have you considered talking to a gp or a professional who could help you stop and also find out what the underlying cause is. if you know why you do it its going to be much easier to stop.

 

[Cat59]

Well done for making your mind up!

Why not make a list of things you could do instead of self injuring and put it somewhere you can get it easily if you feel tempted? Things that others have found helpful include exercising, listening to loud music on headphones, praying or reading the psalms or a favourite bible verse, sucking a lemon, picking up ice with your hand, drawing pictures of what's upsetting you then tearing them up, writing a journal,going for a walk, phoning a friend...
Make a list personal to you and see if it helps...
And talking to someone at church or a counsellor can help too, if you haven't done that already...
*hugs*
Cat

 

[HolyOne87]

ok first thanks to all you guys for your encouragement and advice. It really means tons!
And second I've made up my mind I'm not gonna let myself keep doing this no matter how much I want to, I already have scars on my wrists(suicide attempt) and now legs so shorts and t-shirts are off-limits and its summer and its hard. And also you know how it "feels better" to do it and pain is what I turn to for comfort but turning to God feels SO SO much better than that or ANYTHING and I have to keep learning to let HIM fill all my needs instead of anything else. So yes I still have issues I need to work through but I also know that when I am turning to God for everything then....I can make it, and not only make it but praise God in the storm. Praise...as in rejoicing even through my tears. I pray I won't lose sight of that truth because it is life-changing.....really, it is

I shall pray for you also.
Gripping onto God is very smart. That helped me stop(took time, but I eventually stopped because just consistantly reminding myself that He cares for my well-being means a lot).
~~~May God be there, to help you through your pain..May He comfort you when you need comfort..and even when you do not need comfort. May He be by your side, through it all~~

I hope things get better!

+God Bless+