Well...

[kaykay637]

Praying for you. Hang in there. I told you before that my own son went through some depression and dark days. He also went through a period of agnosticism. But he came through both. Don't give up.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

light?

I don't know if the pain will ever end...

It will.

Think of it this way. If you do not believe there is a better tomorrow. Then you created a self fulling prophesy. Which is the fast lane to death. YET if you have hope... and believe in your heart that there is a better tomorrow. It will come.

Like I stated before, what you believe is very important. Right now you think logicly "I'm screwed.", but really you just gave up on loving yourself. Jesus comes into play as a true source of hope, for he defies the logical. God is limitless and allows miricles(aka blessings) happen in your life. This way you start to believe that you can pull out of this despair.

This is the essance of Jesus and our heavenly father.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

This probably sounds like nothing you grew up with. Which is why you are giving up on Jesus and yourself. You know where it has been taking you. Try to apply this to your life. The fact you took steps to love yourself is a great start. Keep going my friend, and you will have your light at the end of the tunnel.

Please meditate on what I shared ok?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

light?

I don't know if the pain will ever end...

Of course it doesn't feel like it will end, but that's a feeling. Depression tends to be like being in an underground cave. It's pitch black and we need help to see there. We know it is light outside, but it's not where we are at the current place. As we follow the path that leads us up to the level ground and outside and we get close to the opening of the cave, the light begins to creep in. While we are in the cave, there is light, it's just that we are underground. While we are in depression, there is light, we are just low enough we don't see it.

Hang in there and give yourself some time to heal and work on this.

 

[Terax]

I don't know if I can hold on anymore...

I'm NOT going back to that hospital..

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

What is wrong with the hospital?

 

[Terax]

That mental hospital was the absolute most boring place I have ever been. It didn't really help all that much.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Being bored is better than being dead.

 

[kaykay637]

Praying for you. I know you said you were an atheist, but I would suggest praying to Him yourself. Even if you don't believe it, just try it. Please.

 

[Terax]

I have been lately. I pray to Him almost every day that He would show Himself to me in some way. I almost got carried away the other night, but let's just say the knife wasn't sharp enough.
(so sorry if I need to edit that out)

 

[kaykay637]

I have been lately. I pray to Him almost every day that He would show Himself to me in some way. I almost got carried away the other night, but let's just say the knife wasn't sharp enough.
(so sorry if I need to edit that out)

I'm go happy to hear that. From your perspective, not much may be happening, but in the spiritual realm He may be carrying you. Sometimes God DOES reveal Himself very miraculously, but often it's more in still small voice (like with Elijah in the old testament. Elijah was depressed and was expecting something big from God. But God came, not in a dramatic way, but in the still small voice.) Hope that makes sense. Hang in.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I have been lately. I pray to Him almost every day that He would show Himself to me in some way. I almost got carried away the other night, but let's just say the knife wasn't sharp enough.
(so sorry if I need to edit that out)

Heya bro,

Yeah... Lord is there. He is knocking on the door of your heart, but your afraid to answer. When I was struggling with my faith, I was so deathly afraid he see how much shame was in my heart. Like I wanted to boast to him how good I am, but all I had were the shattered peices of my heart slipping from my fingers.

Lord shows his love, not in worldly ways. You know the phrase, "seeing is believing."? We want proof, we want solid evidence, we want assurances. Lord came to us long ago, did things that should have proved who he was. Instead the crucified him, he made fools of the wise. Lord will show you himself in his own way, thru small blessings. Small moments where someone gave you kindness even though you never deserved it. This blessings, these small touches of grace, his mercy is there to help you stay afloat. Till you are ready to recieve him, where your life is saved thru the power of the cross. Where death loses it's grip on you, and his holy spirit works in your life.

All of this comes from a musterd seed of faith, from being a fool for Jesus, from accepting the fact you need him in your life to truly live life. I did this a year and 2 months ago, and woke up with my own awaking in Christ. New eyes that did not lust, and a wonderful feeling of being free. He will speak to you differently. My shattered heart is almost completely whole now, and I was given the woman I never thought I would find. Hold him tightly, and he will show you how awesome you are and can be.

Keep checking in bro.

 

[Terax]

Some people keep acting like it is impossible to be a Christian and have depression. They say that if you were a true Christian, the spirit that is causing depression wouldn't have control over you...

Does anyone have an opinion on this?

 

[meebs]

Some people keep acting like it is impossible to be a Christian and have depression. They say that if you were a true Christian, the spirit that is causing depression wouldn't have control over you...

Does anyone have an opinion on this?

Theres no such thing as a "true christian" (TM). There are people physically and mentally ill who are christians. Would those people point out to a christian in a wheelchair and say they are not a true christian because they can't "get up and walk"? Ignore them, it's your own walk. I think it's called the "no true Scotsman fallacy"

Odd coming from a person who isn't a christian you may think, but i've seen this sort of attitude in the non-christian capacity too and it bugs me.

Im glad to see you are still here. I've been in the same boat. Literally found out so many ways i could kill myself. What stopped me? The realisation it could all go wrong and that i would be scarred/disabled for the rest of my life, i would be even more miserable.

My method was going to be stabbing or poisoning myself. Believe me, im not happy with life. Im seeing people now, it's boring as hell and seems pointless but i still go. Heck, i was on the verge of cancelling it all. Oh, and im not on meds.

My point is, your not alone in your depression.

Umm, mods:.. hope this posts ok...

 

[kaykay637]

Some people keep acting like it is impossible to be a Christian and have depression. They say that if you were a true Christian, the spirit that is causing depression wouldn't have control over you...

Does anyone have an opinion on this?

Strong opinion! Lots and lots of Christians deal with depression. This is old Testament, I know, but in the Bible, Elijah was a great man of God who had performed a great feat for God. Scripture records that he was very depressed.

Just read a scripture in Corinthians (2 Corinthians 7:6 NASB) the other day that said, "God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus..." (This was Saint Paul writing...indicates that they just may have been depressed...)

Christians have a hope and resource in Christ that others don't. But they still struggle with depression (even "clinical depression") sometimes just like everybody else. Don't let anyone tell you they don't. That's just not true. Hugs to you. Hang in there, hon. I've thought about you and been praying for you a lot.

 

[Colabomb]

Some Christians are very harsh and judgemental about depression. They feel that depression is somehow evil or wrong or some sign of supernatural evil or sin.

In reality Depression can be natural, unnatural, Spiritual or Chemical. there are many causes of depression, some having very little to do with your faith or conscience.

Keep fighting the good fight. See a doctor, talk to your pastor or a cloes Christian friend, Pray. There are many causes of depression, there are many answers.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Some people keep acting like it is impossible to be a Christian and have depression. They say that if you were a true Christian, the spirit that is causing depression wouldn't have control over you...

Does anyone have an opinion on this?

Those people are ignorant and probably have what I call "plank eyes syndrome". Matthew 7:1-4: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Some Christians are very harsh and judgemental about depression. They feel that depression is somehow evil or wrong or some sign of supernatural evil or sin.

You know, people in Biblical times felt that way about those who were disabled or blind. And who Did Jesus hang out with? He didn't hang out with the holier-than-thou finger pointers, he hung out with the sinners and the people who were sick. He despised hypocrites.

 

[Terax]

I'm a christian again.

It hurts so much right now, though...

maybe I'm just too weak.. I don't know.. I can't take it..

 

[kaykay637]

I'm a christian again.

It hurts so much right now, though...

maybe I'm just too weak.. I don't know.. I can't take it..

Hang in. The Lord knows our weaknesses. I don't know if your depression is chemical or situational or a combo of both. But whatever is happening in your life to make you feel such pain will ultimately pass. Hang in.

I thinking of this scripture--
"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities..."
Hebrews 4:15 KJV

We can come to Him in our pain and He understands and loves us. Glad you came back to the Lord.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I'm a christian again.

It hurts so much right now, though...

maybe I'm just too weak.. I don't know.. I can't take it..

That is wonderful to hear. Was there something that made you decide to be a Christian again? I don't think you are weak. Anybody that goes through this stuff is strong.