Well...

[Terax]

I went to a psychiatrist, but I failed to tell her how suicidal I have been lately.

I don't know what to do...

I wish I wasn't so worthless.

Yeah... I'm sorry for posting..

The thoughts are getting worse.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

Honey, see your psych again asap and tell her EVERYTHING of how you feel. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed....she's heard it all before from others, she won't make you feel bad....she'll help you. Alternatively if you can't get into see her soon.....ring an emergency help line, go to your local doctor or even to the emergency dept of a hospital and tell them you are having serious suicidal thoughts.....you'll get help.....it's OK to ask for help.

Hugs, Annie xxxxxxxx

 

[Terax]

It doesn't seem like there is much of a reason to live when it feels like everyone is better off without me.

Thank you for responding.. I really don't deserve kindness, though.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

Hey mate, you're 17.....you have wonderful years ahead of you yet. You can be a boyfriend, a husband one day, a father....yep, and even a grandfather... the world is waiting for you....and it can be a wonderful world, you just have to learn how to live in it to the very best capacity as you can, and you can learn how when you ask for help. Help is out there...don't give in, don't leave before your time, don't go before you've tasted the wonderful fruits of life.

Talk to me, let me help you...I've been there, I have clinical depression, I know what it's like to feel hopeless, I know what it's like to want to just...leave...this world. I've even tried a couple of times, I've been in psych wards more than once....and I'm on medication still...about 10 pills a day...but I'm coping because my therapists taught me skills on how to live and how to cope......

Annie

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I went to a psychiatrist, but I failed to tell her how suicidal I have been lately.

I don't know what to do...

I wish I wasn't so worthless.

Yeah... I'm sorry for posting..

The thoughts are getting worse.

I will keep praying.

I wish I could help you believe... to see what I know is true. You are a beautiful child of God. So much to you, such great potiental... dreams that cry out from your heart. It is all there for you to reach out and take. Gotta want be tired of this current existance, and ALLOW yourself to do what you need to do for change. Baby steps and hope.

 

[Terax]

I'm trying to get my next appointment rescheduled to earlier. I need to tell the truth this time. I've pushed the suicidal thoughts back a bit.

 

[kaykay637]

I noticed that you say that you are an atheist. So this may not mean much to you, but I am beginning to pray for you right now. I pulled up your picture. You remind me of my 16 year old son who went to be with the Lord six years ago. He was killed with 2 of his friends in a freak car accident.

You are a good-looking young fellow. Besides reminding me of my son, you remind me a little of the actor, Russell Crowe.

Prayers --

kaykay

 

[Terax]

Thank you all for responding.. it means a lot to me.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I'm trying to get my next appointment rescheduled to earlier. I need to tell the truth this time. I've pushed the suicidal thoughts back a bit.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

You hang in there sunshine.....hugs, Annie

 

[Terax]

I'm tired of pretending that everything is fine..

I think about killing myself constantly now, and the urges won't go away. I wonder how much of a point there is to even staying alive anymore. I'm no great loss to anyone. I keep hoping that maybe I will become close friends with some people, but everyone seems to be better off without me..


I made a promise that I wouldn't do anything, but what does it matter? They don't need me... what is the point in me staying alive anymore?
I'm a horrible friend and a horrible person. People tell me that I am kind and caring, but if it were true, then why do people still dislike me?

They keep telling me that I don't look as bad as I say I do... yeah right.. I look horrible. I'm one of the ugliest guys I know.

I keep getting the urge to just take the pills and get it over with.


I didn't have anyone to talk to and I just needed to get that out.. Sorry..

 

[rubycakes]

I feel that way too sometimes. It can seem like an easy solution but it isn't the right solution. It's not! Trust me! Life IS worth living. Never make a rash decision when you are depressed etc. Any therapist will tell you that! You HAVE to talk to you psych. You HAVE to be completely honest. The first time I went to therapy I never told the therapist what was really wrong and it did me no good. I'm still having issues because I havent really gotten treated for my problems! I'm going to start therapy this week myself and I'm on meds and I will tell you that for me, meds are very helpful.

YOu are not ugly at all! I promise! and as far as everyone liking you, well, there isnt one person on this earth that will be liked by everyone, no matter how hard they try. Honestly alot of people suck and trust me, youre probably better off without them in your life!

Just hold on.... DONT do anything rash! I will be praying for you. PM me anytime

 

[LongAgoNThGarden]

Hi Xistence,

We all have a reason for being here.

You have a reason for being there, and everyone on this forum has a reason for being where they are.

While I will be the first to admit, that some days are way better than others, we still all have a reason for being alive.

Each of us have been given certain talents and abilities by Almighty God.


God gave us these talents and gifts, so that we can fulfill our destiny in the light of His perfect will in our individual lives.


When someone says, “Well I don’t know what God wants me to do with my life.”

My first thought is, “Have you prayed about it?”

And my second thought is, “What are your natural God given talents and abilities?”


You see I believe that these talents and gifts that God has given to each of us, are indicator’s that point toward the direction we are to go in, whereby we can begin to see what it is, that God has for us to fulfill in our journey through this lifetime.


God said to the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:4,5

God knew exactly what He wanted Jeremiah to do with his life even before he was ever born.


And I believe the same holds true for us today.


If you begin having those suicide thoughts, before you allow yourself to get to a point of hurting yourself, you can always go to a Hospital Emergency room and tell them you need help now. I have heard that some people will simply call 911 and say they need help if their doctor appointment is to far away.


Perhaps seeing a doctor and being evaluated, they could prescribe a medication for you that may help you to feel better.


While spending time in a psych hospital may not be a picnic,
It does provide you with licensed people who maybe able to help with medication and counseling.


And there will be others there who may be going through the same thing you are that you could talk with, and maybe learn from, as well as maybe you helping them along their way as we all try and make sense of it all.


If you have a Bible, I would suggest you open it up and begin reading at the beginning of The Gospel of John.


That is such an amazing book, and its only 21 chapters so that wouldn’t take you to long to read.

God bless you in Christ,

Garden

 

[kaykay637]

I'm tired of pretending that everything is fine..

I think about killing myself constantly now, and the urges won't go away. I wonder how much of a point there is to even staying alive anymore. I'm no great loss to anyone. I keep hoping that maybe I will become close friends with some people, but everyone seems to be better off without me..


I made a promise that I wouldn't do anything, but what does it matter? They don't need me... what is the point in me staying alive anymore?
I'm a horrible friend and a horrible person. People tell me that I am kind and caring, but if it were true, then why do people still dislike me?

They keep telling me that I don't look as bad as I say I do... yeah right.. I look horrible. I'm one of the ugliest guys I know.

I keep getting the urge to just take the pills and get it over with.


I didn't have anyone to talk to and I just needed to get that out.. Sorry..

You are believing a lot of lies about yourself. Just as an example, your feelings about your looks are totally not based in reality. As I posted earlier, you are a good-looking young man. I suspect that your other assessments of your own worth are equally untrue. It's just the depression you're currently in. Makes everything SEEM negative. Still praying for you~~

 

[Terax]

Turns out I can't get my appointment rescheduled...

I may have to call the hotline, but I am going to try a few websites or something first. My anxiety goes crazy even thinking about talking on the phone about that.

I don't want to be the person who tells my mom.

 

[kaykay637]

Turns out I can't get my appointment rescheduled...

I may have to call the hotline, but I am going to try a few websites or something first. My anxiety goes crazy even thinking about talking on the phone about that.

I don't want to be the person who tells my mom.

Go to an ER if you really feel yourself getting out of control.

Your last statement about telling your mom. As I posted earlier, I lost my 16 year old son in an accident. Let me just tell you, there is no pain like losing a child. My life will never be the same. Please, please remember that.

 

[LongAgoNThGarden]

If your situation gets critical, forget about waiting for the doctor’s appointment, and go to a hospital emergency room, or simply call 911, and tell them you need help now!

God bless you in Christ,

Garden

 

[Terax]

thank you...

I will have to find someone to tell if I expect to survive this. The urges keep getting worse.

 

[kaykay637]

Find someone to talk to. As we have previously posted, go to the ER or call 911 if you have to.

Call a local church pastor. Call somebody to get assistance here. Your school counselor?

Praying for you.

I mentioned my son. He didn't die by suicide. He was actually in a pretty good place emotionally and spiritually at the time he died. But he went through some dark and depressing days. I don't know that he was ever suicidal but I would definitely say he had some of the same feelings that you have expressed. But it didn't last forever. He came through it. I wish he were here to talk to you.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

thank you...

I will have to find someone to tell if I expect to survive this. The urges keep getting worse.

It's important that you do what is in your interest of safety at this point. You have received some good feedback. It's important that you tell someone immediately where you live, preferrably you parent, your therapist, or another adult who can help (hotline worker, police officer, emergency worker, or pastor).

Right now, because of your depression, it's important someone help you make good decisions. The future seems hopeless, but it's not... the feelings are horrible, but there is help for hopelessness and depression.

Please pick up the phone or go tell your mom right now what's going on with you and how bad you are feeling. You are worth saving your life and fighting for your life.

Gentle