Well I suppose I am not a new christian by any means, but I would like to share my story anyways. I grew up as a christian in a non denominational church, and even at the young age of 13 I was a zealous self proclaimed evangilist. I lived ate and breathed the word of God. While others were searching for dates and worrying about school, I was studying the bible and trying to be the best christian I could possibly be. I say this not to toot my own horn but rather, because it is important to my story as you will see later.
When I was 18 and out of high school it was only a short time after the events of 9/11, and so I considered it my duty to join the military. When I went to the MEPPS office to choose my MOS (job) I literally just closed my eyes and pointed at a job, trusting that God would make the right decision for me. Apparently God wasnt sure if he wanted me in the infantry or artillery because he gave me a job that included both, a fire support specialist. Anyways, during this time I was still a very conservative christian and that didnt change much for a while. That is, until I went to South Korea, I cant honestly say I lost my faith thier or that I clung to it. But something about that place changed me, I became cynical and I drank nearly every night, probably about a fifth of liquor and a twenty pack to get me to sleep. I was losing touch with God and although I could feel it, I didn't much care. In a sense I wanted to die, (this was more due to the way the army treated its soldiers than anything, I never blamed God for this part of my life, I just wasn't cut out for military service.) After a year of drinking myself into oblivion in Korea, I was finally going back to the "real army" in the states. And for a time I was content again.
I was stationed in Fort Carson in Colorado and for the most part I continued to drink and slowly slip away from God, and after two years went by in that place and somehow avoiding going to iraq, I was honorably discharged and sent home. When I got home I decided to live with my parents until I found out what I wanted to do with my life, (thier isnt much to do in the civillian sector for combat arms). I ended up living thier for a year, but during that year I decided to get right with God, I decided to study the history of the bible and to really seek out God and Jesus and what I really believed. But as I studied, I began to find inconsitances, and paradoxes, (things I wont mention here, my intention here isnt to debate, Ive already made my peace with God) things that I considered wrong. So I read every apologetics book I could get my hands on, I looked and read and asked and pleaded, I was completly losing it. After a year of constant research (I had nothing better to do, well...I could have been looking for a job, but i found this to be more important) But after that year I had become a Deist.
The Deist thing didnt last long as it didnt make much sense for God to create everything and just to leave it alone. So it wasnt long until I began expanding my search for truth. I looked up Taoism and read the Tao Te Ching, and for the most part I enjoyed the philosophy but I just couldnt live my life by it. So then I became an agnostic, I didnt know and that was the end of it. Then from being an agnostic I began to read up on Richard Dawkings, and I bought "The God Delusion" After reading it, I considered myself an atheist. But a weak atheist, as I still couldnt honestly say that thier was no god. My Atheism lasted until about 6 months ago, when I began to research buddhism and judaism, I dont know why i was researching them at the same time, but they are both infinatly interesting to me. In buddhism i was learning to become self aware and in judaism i was learning to appreciate the God that i had abandoned.
The more I studied about Ha-shem, the more I noticed a tugging on my heart, to maybe read the new testament over again. To maybe look at this whole religion from a new perspective, not from an over zealous perspective, or as an atheist, but from the perspective of someone who has never been told about the gospels before. Someone who hasnt been told what to think, I just wanted to read it and decide for myself. So far I have been convicted to turn myself over to God and I am not at all mad at him for putting me through all that he has, as he has taught me many lessons through this time, and as of last night, my heart finally grew soft and I recommitted myself to Jesus. Thats all i wanted to say, I have tended to lurk on these boards at various points during my search and i was hard pressed to find many christians turned atheist turned christian stories, so i figured i would add my own, maybe for another seeker. I know that this wont answer any questions a seeker may be asking but i hope it comforting to know that someones been thier.
Best reguards, your old new brother in Christ,
Jeff
When I was 18 and out of high school it was only a short time after the events of 9/11, and so I considered it my duty to join the military. When I went to the MEPPS office to choose my MOS (job) I literally just closed my eyes and pointed at a job, trusting that God would make the right decision for me. Apparently God wasnt sure if he wanted me in the infantry or artillery because he gave me a job that included both, a fire support specialist. Anyways, during this time I was still a very conservative christian and that didnt change much for a while. That is, until I went to South Korea, I cant honestly say I lost my faith thier or that I clung to it. But something about that place changed me, I became cynical and I drank nearly every night, probably about a fifth of liquor and a twenty pack to get me to sleep. I was losing touch with God and although I could feel it, I didn't much care. In a sense I wanted to die, (this was more due to the way the army treated its soldiers than anything, I never blamed God for this part of my life, I just wasn't cut out for military service.) After a year of drinking myself into oblivion in Korea, I was finally going back to the "real army" in the states. And for a time I was content again.
I was stationed in Fort Carson in Colorado and for the most part I continued to drink and slowly slip away from God, and after two years went by in that place and somehow avoiding going to iraq, I was honorably discharged and sent home. When I got home I decided to live with my parents until I found out what I wanted to do with my life, (thier isnt much to do in the civillian sector for combat arms). I ended up living thier for a year, but during that year I decided to get right with God, I decided to study the history of the bible and to really seek out God and Jesus and what I really believed. But as I studied, I began to find inconsitances, and paradoxes, (things I wont mention here, my intention here isnt to debate, Ive already made my peace with God) things that I considered wrong. So I read every apologetics book I could get my hands on, I looked and read and asked and pleaded, I was completly losing it. After a year of constant research (I had nothing better to do, well...I could have been looking for a job, but i found this to be more important) But after that year I had become a Deist.
The Deist thing didnt last long as it didnt make much sense for God to create everything and just to leave it alone. So it wasnt long until I began expanding my search for truth. I looked up Taoism and read the Tao Te Ching, and for the most part I enjoyed the philosophy but I just couldnt live my life by it. So then I became an agnostic, I didnt know and that was the end of it. Then from being an agnostic I began to read up on Richard Dawkings, and I bought "The God Delusion" After reading it, I considered myself an atheist. But a weak atheist, as I still couldnt honestly say that thier was no god. My Atheism lasted until about 6 months ago, when I began to research buddhism and judaism, I dont know why i was researching them at the same time, but they are both infinatly interesting to me. In buddhism i was learning to become self aware and in judaism i was learning to appreciate the God that i had abandoned.
The more I studied about Ha-shem, the more I noticed a tugging on my heart, to maybe read the new testament over again. To maybe look at this whole religion from a new perspective, not from an over zealous perspective, or as an atheist, but from the perspective of someone who has never been told about the gospels before. Someone who hasnt been told what to think, I just wanted to read it and decide for myself. So far I have been convicted to turn myself over to God and I am not at all mad at him for putting me through all that he has, as he has taught me many lessons through this time, and as of last night, my heart finally grew soft and I recommitted myself to Jesus. Thats all i wanted to say, I have tended to lurk on these boards at various points during my search and i was hard pressed to find many christians turned atheist turned christian stories, so i figured i would add my own, maybe for another seeker. I know that this wont answer any questions a seeker may be asking but i hope it comforting to know that someones been thier.
Best reguards, your old new brother in Christ,
Jeff
