Well this sucks

[Miss Spaulding]

Lol...did I start something? Hehe. ...Whatever. Everyone is different. Some find it it rude, some don't. End of story.

@Citanul , I'm glad some of the responses were helpful for you.

 

[Citanul]

Lol...did I start something? Hehe. ...Whatever. Everyone is different. Some find it it rude, some don't. End of story.

Pretty much. I don't think it was rude and I was the aggrieved party, but then again, having actually read her message, I have a different perspective from everyone else. Whether it's a better or worse perspective might be debatable, but it wouldn't be appropriate to share that message in public.

@Citanul , I'm glad some of the responses were helpful for you.

Yeah, they have been. Mostly just reiterating things I know to be valid, but was finding it difficult to acknowledge in the wake of getting the message.

 

[William67]

THAT is a first date with you? Too much pressure in my books. How do you know if she likes you or just likes having money spent on her?

Did she know you had bought tickets? As for the restaurant, you could have actually gone an eaten there and saved the cancellation fee. I assume you did eat dinner that night. Did you go to the show? ... as for the tux, it was cleaned for the next time you needed it ... so no loss there. I do believe that a four hour cancellation that wasn't about sickness was rude but it doesn't sound like you really missed out on anything. If she was the potential love of your life, then you would have still been interested in her when she walked back into your life...child or no child.

Yes. No pressure. I'm actually very good at scheduling things. And I'm detail oriented. Well, as I get to know them better, women who are just "after the money" tend to slip up eventually. Ive also taken courses on body language. Pupil dilation, breathing, can determine if someone is being deceitful. Even the direction you look when you are making a statement determines whether or not that statement is a memory or a lie youre making up. That works for business meeting as well. lol

I wasn't about to go and sit by myself in a restaurant with 50 couples. Do you know how pathetic that looks? I never liked musicals. She did, but I didn't. See, when I go on a first date it is about making her feel special. Thus, for that woman, roses, candy, a nice show, and a very nice romantic restaurant. I try to get to know the woman before I ask her out. So, each first date is tailored to her.

No, because she showed herself for what she was. Flaky. As soon as she cancelled our date for some smooth talking bum, well, that said all I needed to know about her. It wasn't the kid I had a problem with, it was her. My youngest niece tried to set me up with her favorite teacher. She kept telling her how nice I am and what a great uncle I am. It kind of embarrassed me because she told her how I would sit in the floor with her and play dolls with her, have tea parties, and sing her to sleep when she stayed overnight. Her teacher had two kids, so kids aren't the problem.

I mean, I'm Mr Cool!

 

[Messy]

Yes. No pressure. I'm actually very good at scheduling things. And I'm detail oriented. Well, as I get to know them better, women who are just "after the money" tend to slip up eventually. Ive also taken courses on body language. Pupil dilation, breathing, can determine if someone is being deceitful. Even the direction you look when you are making a statement determines whether or not that statement is a memory or a lie youre making up. That works for business meeting as well. lol

I wasn't about to go and sit by myself in a restaurant with 50 couples. Do you know how pathetic that looks? I never liked musicals. She did, but I didn't. See, when I go on a first date it is about making her feel special. Thus, for that woman, roses, candy, a nice show, and a very nice romantic restaurant. I try to get to know the woman before I ask her out. So, each first date is tailored to her.

No, because she showed herself for what she was. Flaky. As soon as she cancelled our date for some smooth talking bum, well, that said all I needed to know about her. It wasn't the kid I had a problem with, it was her. My youngest niece tried to set me up with her favorite teacher. She kept telling her how nice I am and what a great uncle I am. It kind of embarrassed me because she told her how I would sit in the floor with her and play dolls with her, have tea parties, and sing her to sleep when she stayed overnight. Her teacher had two kids, so kids aren't the problem.

I mean, I'm Mr Cool!

My goodness. That must be hard to figure out. Better just don't say you're rich unless they know who you are, yeah that's not handy. With a stranger I'd just say oh yeah I work on a farm, sounds like they hired you there to pluck apples and if you spend so much for a date they know immediately that you have money. Just go to a coffee shop or something. Oh well that's what I'd do but men never listen to my great advice. I told this to a guy and he just mentioned that he had his own company on a dating site and now he has a gold digger.

 

[William67]

My goodness. That must be hard to figure out. Better just don't say you're rich unless they know who you are, yeah that's not handy. With a stranger I'd just say oh yeah I work on a farm, sounds like they hired you there to pluck apples and if you spend so much for a date they know immediately that you have money. Just go to a coffee shop or something. Oh well that's what I'd do but men never listen to my great advice. I told this to a guy and he just mentioned that he had his own company on a dating site and now he has a gold digger.

I never tell people I'm rich, because I'm not rich. I do better financially than some people, but I'm in no way rich. I do have a lot of connections, though. When someone in real life asks me what I do, I usually say that I'm a farmer, which I am. Thats what I love to do. And most people that know me understand that I can get things for a great price. That's what I used to do for a living. I bought brand name, top of the line products for next to nothing, then sold them for half the price of retail stores. And it was perfectly honest and legal, because I explained how I got them, and the "down side" to buying them. In most cases, people bought them anyway. My profit to cost ratio was 1500% in some cases. Ive sold electronics that retail for $200-$300 for $150 and only had $8-$10 invested in each one.

 

[Messy]

I never tell people I'm rich, because I'm not rich. I do better financially than some people, but I'm in no way rich. I do have a lot of connections, though. When someone in real life asks me what I do, I usually say that I'm a farmer, which I am. Thats what I love to do. And most people that know me understand that I can get things for a great price. That's what I used to do for a living. I bought brand name, top of the line products for next to nothing, then sold them for half the price of retail stores. And it was perfectly honest and legal, because I explained how I got them, and the "down side" to buying them. In most cases, people bought them anyway. My profit to cost ratio was 1500% in some cases. Ive sold electronics that retail for $200-$300 for $150 and only had $8-$10 invested in each one.

Lol well I only dated guys who made 600 to 900 a month so to me more than 25k is rich.
Even I attract gold diggers and I get 16k I think, don't even know.

 

[Messy]

If they're givers and they maybe don't have much but still help others financially or with stuff like old clothes you can assume they're not after your money.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Cancelling a date because you met someone else is ridiculous, even if it is a first date. The only time I've never had a date cancelled was due to the weather, a blizzard was blowing in and we decided to reschedule.

 

[Messy]

Cancelling a date because you met someone else is ridiculous, even if it is a first date. The only time I've never had a date cancelled was due to the weather, a blizzard was blowing in and we decided to reschedule.

Yeah me too and we almost never have that kind of weather. It was the worst storm in 10 years, trees fell etc. I didn't like him but I was too shy to say no and then I prayed if God could please help me out here lol. That was the last time I got on a date with anyone until I met my ex. I asked him to go to a birthday party with other people instead, so I didn't have to be alone with him. Horrible. I felt such a monster. I think it's still better to immediately say thanks but no thanks.

 

[Citanul]

There's been a twist to my tale of woe as she contacted me this morning saying that things hadn't really worked and asked whether I'd still be interested in meeting up.

I know some of you are probably going say that it's not a good idea as she sounds flaky and might be into playing games with guys. And I do definitely have my concerns given how quickly she moved away from me and then back again.

But on the other hand, it is entirely possible for things to have crashed and burned through no fault of hers, so is there any real harm in just hearing her out? I've learned my lesson and would be going in with my eyes opened and no expectations beyond that first meeting.

So I have agreed to meet her for ice-cream (her suggestion as she felt she owed it to me after messing me around), and since the weather forecast looks good, quite honestly I can't think of too many better things to do than have ice-cream with an attractive woman on a beautiful spring day.

 

[Messy2]

Lol just kidding. Who cares?
This must be the reason that people aren't honest about it when they're talking to two or more at the same time. At least she's honest.

 

[blackribbon]

As long as you don't assume it is a "date". However, my gut is that she enjoyed talking to you and misses it. The other guy might still be there but something is still missing at this point but don't have any false ideas about it. She may have some friends she can introduce you to somewhere later down the line.

 

[JCFantasy23]

My close friend has been doing the online dating for years - she did ChristianMingles and now pays for Match.com profile. She hasn't met anyone decent, but there are success stories. Really I think there are good people on there - she, for example, is a great person and good catch - but like dating in other realms, you have to weed through them. She's also had people meet someone else, or that just stop contacting her without warning, mixed signals

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Lol just kidding. Who cares?
This must be the reason that people aren't honest about it when they're talking to two or more at the same time. At least she's honest.

That about sums up what happens. ha ha ha.

 

[Citanul]

As long as you don't assume it is a "date".

I'm definitely not assuming that, as it's even more casual than drinks would have. So I'm just taking it as an opportunity to see if we can get past what happened, not just from my side as I got the feeling that she was a little unsure about how I would respond when she contacted me again.

But I think we can. We exchanged numbers and sent each other messages throughout the day, so while obviously meeting in person will be the real test, things are looking promising. And plenty of couples have overcome far worse stumbling blocks than a false start like this.

The other guy might still be there but something is still missing at this point but don't have any false ideas about it.

Because of the way she broke things off with me, I do get the impression that she wouldn't keep multiple guys hanging around. So I don't think the other guy is still in the picture, but I am aware that I could be reading a bit too much into it, and therefore I'm not taking that as a certainty.

 

[William67]

I'm definitely not assuming that, as it's even more casual than drinks would have. So I'm just taking it as an opportunity to see if we can get past what happened, not just from my side as I got the feeling that she was a little unsure about how I would respond when she contacted me again.

But I think we can. We exchanged numbers and sent each other messages throughout the day, so while obviously meeting in person will be the real test, things are looking promising. And plenty of couples have overcome far worse stumbling blocks than a false start like this.



Because of the way she broke things off with me, I do get the impression that she wouldn't keep multiple guys hanging around. So I don't think the other guy is still in the picture, but I am aware that I could be reading a bit too much into it, and therefore I'm not taking that as a certainty.

Well, if you are going to go through with it, be very careful. As the old saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me".

 

[NewUser777]

So I have agreed to meet her for ice-cream (her suggestion as she felt she owed it to me after messing me around), and since the weather forecast looks good, quite honestly I can't think of too many better things to do than have ice-cream with an attractive woman on a beautiful spring day.

Good luck. I hope it goes well for you. Just don't forget the lesson you learned. Never trust anyone with your emotions you don't know very well, even though we desperately want to.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

I'm sorry to hear about your disappointment but maybe its better she canceled than for her to lead you on. There are more out there