We'll Never Have a Baby

[matthewgoh]

Hello Kat,

Please allow me to say something. I have a daughter who is 7 years old. I really wish I can have another baby, hopefully a son. But the problem is my wife is a bit "panic" kind of woman, and I perfectly understand why she don't want to have another baby.

I love my wife and daughter so much. Deep in my heart, I hope I can have another child, but at the same time I don't want to burden my wife, because of my love.

So I just look at it positively. I trust God, and I know things happen for good. I am a happy man, and I love my family so very much. One day, I will know why I only have to have 1 child, later of my life, or after life may be.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. I wish you find your happiness in life.

Bye.

 

[JacobsDream]

Hello Kat,

Please allow me to say something. I have a daughter who is 7 years old. I really wish I can have another baby, hopefully a son. But the problem is my wife is a bit "panic" kind of woman, and I perfectly understand why she don't want to have another baby.

I love my wife and daughter so much. Deep in my heart, I hope I can have another child, but at the same time I don't want to burden my wife, because of my love.

So I just look at it positively. I trust God, and I know things happen for good. I am a happy man, and I love my family so very much. One day, I will know why I only have to have 1 child, later of my life, or after life may be.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. I wish you find your happiness in life.

Bye.

Very well said.

 

[FireOfGod]

First thing I would suggest would be to not get bitter. Don't let this make you angry and jealous for your whole marriage. It sounds like he will be the real Father of your child. He will raise him with you and be there for him.

I would pray that you guys have kids and expect a miracle, but it doesn't sound like he's interested. I really can't do anything to help you unless you both do happen to want a baby.

Best advice I can give you is, don't be bitter and envious about this the rest of your life. That will only make things worse.

 

[katautumn]

Just popping in for an update. I have decided to try and find a support group for couples who cannot conceive and J said he wanted to attend sessions with me. Christmas weekend he went to Florida to see his son and I stayed home so I could spend the holidays with my family. When J came back he told me that he had a thought while driving to see his son. He passed a Chuck E. Cheese and he said he felt this strong sadness as he thought, "if Kat and I had a child, we would take him there." He has decided that once we get in a suitable financial situation he wants to have a reversal. They are very expensive and there's still a chance we won't be able to conceive, but we're not giving up hope.

Thank you, again, for everyone's support.

 

[matthewgoh]

Hello Kat,

Thank you for your update. Glad to hear that. Whatever the outcome is, remember to take it positively. God bless and take care.

 

[Bain_Adaneth]

KatAutumn Quoted:



[I am beginning to believe if neither one of us had children with our previous spouses any of this would be an issue. ]



I don’t think the children had anything to do with your “issue.” I may sound harsh, but that’s why it’s good to have children inside of marriage, and not outside. A hard lesson for everyone. It’s human to be jealous sometimes…..but all jealousy is not “justified.” You should share your feelings with him….he is going to be your husband, and he needs to know how you feel….and you need to know how he feels about your feelings, and how he will respond to them…..as your husband (future), he should be supportive and understanding….personal question….if he is with you, why is his ex. carrying his child? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to….

 

[katautumn]

His son is eight years old. He and I both have children from previous marriages. I've been divorced for three years and he has been divorced for five. My son was still just an infant when his "father" and I split up.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Hi,

I didn't read all of the replies, so I am not sure if this came up, but here is the way I feel. - Just a little about me first - The doctor told me when I was 18 that I would never have children and even if by some miracle I got preg. I would not be able to carry the baby. This was devistating news since all I have wanted my entire life is to be a mommy. One day, I was watching a Lifetime movie about abused children. This was a great movie, brought up a ton of hurt from my own past....but then it hit me and I have not worried, thought about, or dreamt about it since. There are millions of children in this world with no homes. Babies to teenagers. Abused children ripped out of their homes and placed in cold, loveless shelters and "holding places" Not that the state and workers don't mean well...but when there are hundreds of children in one place, the child does not get the love he/she deserves. If he decides that he wants a child, why not adopt. I understand that you are capable of concieving, but he isn't, and this would be a great thing for the both of you. Giving a child a loving home that doesn't know love. What a great gift to that child. He may not want any more children because he doesn't want anymore children. It probably doesn't have to do with you or his ex. Vasectomies are reversable, but it calls for another surgery and more money. Just think about it.

 

[AllTalkNoAction]

If you love him then respect his desire not to want the job of being a father. Also it will give you more time to serve God and empathise with the many who can't or don't have children for other reasons.

Isa:54:1: Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD.

 

[Bain_Adaneth]

KatAutumn,
thankyou for answering. For me the most important part of a marriage is having God be in charge of it. I don't remember if you said you were a Christian or not. God said that out of faith, love, and hope, love is the strongest. And it is so true, love can endure anything, and with love....comes all the rest: trust, faith, hope, care, encouragement, etc.....a loving relationship should be a trusting relationship....if a person trusts his/her spouse....then their would be no worries, no blaming, no arguments that would linger and ruin the marriage. That includes, trusting that your spouse loves you, and that he/she will be faithful, and will take care of you, and your family...If he struggles, she is with him...and if she struggles, he is with her....that bond comes from trusting eachother with love.