Weird for a Christian girl to behave this way?

[Galatea]

I see, I never been in a South US church before. Only church I been to in US is in LA and that was a long time ago. I been in the southern states but feel awkward there, the churches are either all blacks or all whites.

Unfortunately, that is true. Most churches are pretty much segregated in the South. Although that has changed some in recent years.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Why not call her up and see if she would like to go to lunch one day since she studies in your city. That way, you can see if she is interested or not.

I agree with Galatea; you have 3 options:

1) You keep thinking and thinking could it mean anything until it drives you crazy

2) You ask her out and see how it goes - find out whether you wish to pursue it further or not

3) Break things off and go separate ways


If you're interested, I recommend #2 !

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Unfortunately, that is true. Most churches are pretty much segregated in the South. Although that has changed some in recent years.

Out of interest, are both Churches still open to all ethnicities visiting them? If I ever travel to the US, I would be interested to see what some of the African-American churches are like.

 

[Galatea]

I agree with Galatea; you have 3 options:

1) You keep thinking and thinking could it mean anything until it drives you crazy

2) You ask her out and see how it goes - find out whether you wish to pursue it further or not

3) Break things off and go separate ways


If you're interested, I recommend #2 !

Thanks for simplifying it! I think he should go for option #2 as well.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

there's more than hugging going on here.

she was with two other guys that she knew when she saw the OP and only talked to him. then she saw him again while walking around and gave him a hug. that would have been ok but then the third time she gives this guy a long tender embrace, gazes into his eyes, and then starts cuddling with him. then she shows up by herself with another guy who's in a relationship.

this chic is a flirt. couple that with her flaking out when the OP tried to see if there was another opportunity when they could meet up at some church event.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Just a cultural sidenote: You're probably an American, and the OP is from Scandinavia, which is the most egalitarian region in the world, so it doesn't really work like that here. Not even in the churches, unless it's some super-mega-conservative sect.

egalitarianism and flirtiness are just a prevalent in the states as anywhere else.

 

[Galatea]

Out of interest, are both Churches still open to all ethnicities visiting them? If I ever travel to the US, I would be interested to see what some of the African-American churches are like.

Oh, absolutely! I've never seen anyone not welcome in either type of church. It's segregation by choice. My mother (who is very pale and blonde) went to a Christmas program at her coworker's church a couple of years ago. She was welcomed with a lot of warmth.

 

[Galatea]

there's more than hugging going on here.

she was with two other guys that she knew when she saw the OP and only talked to him. then she saw him again while walking around and gave him hug. that would have been ok but then the third time she gives this guy a long tender embrace, gazes into his eyes, and then starts cuddling with him. then she shows up by herself with another guy who's in a relationship.

this chic is just a flirt. couple that with her flaking out when the OP tried to see if there was another opportunity when they could meet up at some church event.

The flaking out when he invited her to go to church made me think she might not be into him. That's more significant than the hugging.

 

[Jack of Spades]

egalitarianism and flirtiness are just a prevalent in the states as anywhere else.

I have never been to states personally so I can't argue. But based on what I have read on CF, the difference between conservative Christians in the US and conservative Christians over here is pretty huge, when it comes to gender roles.

Just an example, the line you just used there "but it's part of being a man in that you need to be willing to venture out and take the lead" - I can't even recall when I have last heard someone saying anything like that here. The idea of a leading man and a submissive woman doesn't really exist here anywhere in the mainstream, and Sweden (the country of the OP) is even more secular than Finland (my place) is.

 

[OcifferPls]

I have never been to states personally so I can't argue. But based on what I have read on CF, the difference between conservative Christians in the US and conservative Christians over here is pretty huge, when it comes to gender roles.

Just an example, the line you just used there "but it's part of being a man in that you need to be willing to venture out and take the lead" - I can't even recall when I have last heard someone saying anything like that here. The idea of a leading man and a submissive woman doesn't really exist here anywhere in the mainstream, and Sweden (the country of the OP) is even more secular than Finland (my place) is.

Ok, but out of curiosity, in your country how does anyone know what to do or who's "role" it is, etc? It sounds potentially very confusing to me.

 

[timewerx]

Out of interest, are both Churches still open to all ethnicities visiting them? If I ever travel to the US, I would be interested to see what some of the African-American churches are like.

I went to a mostly white church in NZ not by choice, it just happens to be the nearest to me. I faced a bit of discrimination at first and I noticed inside, the Maoris and any none whites are bunched up together. I just go sit anywhere I want. I hang like a fly and eventually, they were a lot warmer than at first.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I have never been to states personally so I can't argue. But based on what I have read on CF, the difference between conservative Christians in the US and conservative Christians over here is pretty huge, when it comes to gender roles.

Just an example, the line you just used there "but it's part of being a man in that you need to be willing to venture out and take the lead" - I can't even recall when I have last heard someone saying anything like that here. The idea of a leading man and a submissive woman doesn't really exist here anywhere in the mainstream, and Sweden (the country of the OP) is even more secular than Finland (my place) is.

that line isn't accepted in the mainstream here either. neither is 'conservative christianity'(whatever that even means nowadays).

 

[Jack of Spades]

that line isn't accepted in the mainstream here either. neither is 'conservative christianity'(whatever that even means nowadays).

Just take my word, it's different over here

 

[Sketcher]

She has no problems with touching you, but she has problems making time for you. I would advise detaching from her.

 

[Gnarwhal]

at a revival conference

we had some prophetic words for each other.

Found the problem.

 

[ReesePiece23]

55 posts, all over a hug?

Thank goodness you never slept with her.

 

[timewerx]

She has no problems with touching you, but she has problems making time for you. I would advise detaching from her.

We got a hugger!

I guess it's just like anyone who loves shaking hands with a killer smile but all the warmth ends there. It happens. I'm guilty of it as well!

 

[Imperiuz]

Wow didn't realize you were a compatriot of mine!

In my circles, people normally shake hands with their gentleman friends and hug their lady friends. I think it has to do a lot about girls being more physical with friends in general than guys.

When the hug takes more than like... I don't know... 2.5 seconds or something, then I would start perceiving that it's more than a friendly hug.

 

[rayquest]

there are different type of hugging

side ways hugging is preferable or bear hug type

 

[com7fy8]

why'd she brush her head against my chest, moaning?

I don't know her, personally. So, I do not mean to speak for her, here.

In general . . . in charismatic sharing, moaning can be a way of expressing love and appreciation for you just because you are a child of God; it can have no romantic meaning at all, but it does have a much deeper and better meaning > where "there is neither male nor female" (Galatians 3:28). A person in the Holy Spirit can moan in God's love for you, being used by God to express His personal care and tender love to you, through someone who can minister like this. And someone who can minister like this can be spiritual . . . past finding out

But a seductive woman can be testing who would be interested in her for immoral activity. But it seems you are saying she was very gentle and sensitive in how she hugged you, like that.

And I guess certain flirts might go that far, even with moaning, if they are actually trying to play you around.

And if you are brothers and sisters in Jesus, you will share and be seen with various others. So, you might, if you can, be in a same discussion group with one another and discover how she shares and ministers, there. And see if she has power to minister for you to get more real with God, and set your mind on things above . . . not get overly distracted with her . . . plus learn how to relate in love with any and all people > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

But you say you have shared words, in the LORD; if this is true, then both of you are spiritual enough so the Holy Spirit can speak through each of you to one another.

This can mean she is not trying to confuse you and you need to let her be who she is and how she ministers and simply discover how you are blessed through her. Stay with how God blesses you and rules you in His peace > Colossians 3:15 > and do not trust any lust or feeling rejected. Because how people treat us can be misunderstood. So, if you don't even know her, don't assume she is playing or rejecting you, even if she does not go along with your invitations. If you don't know her well enough so you understand why she does something, I would not try to interpret it unless you know God is clearly having you know something and He is encouraging you how to relate with her.

God will not bring you to shame and feeling rejected; so I say never let that stuff have power over you to decide how you see someone and react to things.

If she were to be a wrong person, she needs Jesus and God is able to use you and your good example to help her; so no way is it right for you to let someone needy have power to hurt you and shut you down from loving that person and ministering to him or her.

So, if you are not sure, plus if you do not trust her enough to simply talk with her about this > I would not get too interested in her or think about much with her . . . if you do not trust her.

If you talk with her about this, this needs to be in order to love her by welcoming her to be led by the Holy Spirit; and so if the LORD is not leading her to you, you need to encourage her as your own sister in Jesus to be blessed in whichever way she goes in sharing with you. So, feeling rejected would be not at all relevant to relating with a Christian lady who lets you know how she finds our Heavenly Father is guiding her. If she trusts you by telling you, build on this for howsoever God desires for you to share as brother and sister

but I fear rejection. I will think about it.

Like I offer > if you don't trust her, and if God is not encouraging you and making you creative to communicate with her, this is all you need to know. Enjoy sharing with different ladies, so you can get more experience of how the really Christian women are, but while learning how to share with and offer help to the ones who are not for real or not so mature. Take a personal interest in every woman, because Jesus cares for every one. And please keep in you, how every truly Christian lady is your own sister. This is so more valuable than having a romance and the more outward things of marriage.

But if you are looking for mainly what you want, this is not denying yourself and taking up your cross of all-loving love > Luke 9:23. And the one God has for you can be a gentle and quiet person (1 Peter 3:4); so, whether she is for you or not, I think we need to not let our attention be so shanghai'ed mainly to her.

The only way you will know FOR SURE if she likes you is to ask her, unless she volunteers the information. I know being rejected is awful,

we should treat our fellow Christ followers as we would a member of our immediate family.

rejection stinks,

Ok . . . so, if we are family, we can talk with someone about something like this. But if you don't feel like you and she are brother and sister, for some reason you might not be ready to look into things with her. Pray and trust God to rule you in your heart about this. If we are family, she is your Jesus sister, first, so it does not matter if she wants to get romantic or married with you; because we so value being brother and sister, that personal details are too less important. So, appreciate any sharing you have with her > even a few minutes is plenty, in God's love. This is a new meaning I have learned from >

"be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5).