Hi all you married peeps! Just a few quick question for you... If you could do it all over again.. what would you do differently about your wedding or even your relationship before you got married? Anything? Also, if you don't mind me asking.. how much did you spend on your wedding?
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Wedding - what would you do different?
- Thread starter lilray
- Start date
karla
Love God, Serve God
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The one thing I would do differently was to NOT hire a photographer. The pictures were okay, but too expensive and the photos that family and friends took were better and I just had them enlarged. We spent no more than $5,000 for everything and had a really nice wedding. My husband had been working for 6 months and I had just graduated college when we got married, so money was tight. Other than that I would have changed a thing, after all it is the marriage, not the wedding that is the most important thing. BUt hey, everyone likes a good party too 
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If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I loved everything about our wedding. I managed to stay relaxed and enjoy the day. I just tried to remember that at the end of the day no matter what, I would be married. One thing I wanted was to have a fun reception not just cake and punch. If I could do it again, I would do the same thing! I couldn't begin to guess how much was spent though.
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Wonderful question!
I loved that day - I truly did. One thing we did right was not get a super fancy cake - we had regular sheet cake for the lay-people and Dairy Queen ice-cream cake for the head table!
I'd definitely be more casual if I could have done it over. We spent way to much $$ ($18K - or so) which really wasn't worth it. Don't get me wrong, she was beautiful and the day blessed, but that's a lot of $$. I love our photographer and would hire her again in a heartbeat.
As to before the wedding, I would do a lot differently. I would have negotiated a few things before we wed - things that we thought we had discussed were not discussed enough. I also would not have had pre-marital sex... I think it ruined our chances and took away precious chances to talk. I would have probably waited a bit longer and made more time to spend together during the wedding planning process.
The process for us took a LOT away from our relationship. In hindsight, the relationshp became more about the wedding than our love - all of the stuff surrounding the wedding took so much time and energy, it seemed we didn't have time for ourselves.
I would also make sure all financial matters (individual debts) would have been resolved before the wedding.
Lastly, I would have not sold my house to buy one for "us"... I would have stayed where I was and made it "ours" until we were settled into our marriage, and THEN looked for soemthing new (we bought our house 10 months before the wedding...)
bkg
I loved that day - I truly did. One thing we did right was not get a super fancy cake - we had regular sheet cake for the lay-people and Dairy Queen ice-cream cake for the head table!
I'd definitely be more casual if I could have done it over. We spent way to much $$ ($18K - or so) which really wasn't worth it. Don't get me wrong, she was beautiful and the day blessed, but that's a lot of $$. I love our photographer and would hire her again in a heartbeat.
As to before the wedding, I would do a lot differently. I would have negotiated a few things before we wed - things that we thought we had discussed were not discussed enough. I also would not have had pre-marital sex... I think it ruined our chances and took away precious chances to talk. I would have probably waited a bit longer and made more time to spend together during the wedding planning process.
The process for us took a LOT away from our relationship. In hindsight, the relationshp became more about the wedding than our love - all of the stuff surrounding the wedding took so much time and energy, it seemed we didn't have time for ourselves.
I would also make sure all financial matters (individual debts) would have been resolved before the wedding.
Lastly, I would have not sold my house to buy one for "us"... I would have stayed where I was and made it "ours" until we were settled into our marriage, and THEN looked for soemthing new (we bought our house 10 months before the wedding...)
bkg
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I wouldn't do anything differently with the wedding. It was beautiful. We started our premarital counseling a year and a half before the wedding and took our time. I wouldn't change that. We lived together early in our relationship, then repented. I would most definately change that. There were emotional, spiritual and other consequences I would never wish on anyone. Everything from the rings to the wedding to the honeymoon cost about $1000. God provided at every turn.
Here's an example: I went wedding dress shopping. I knew I couldn't afford a traditional wedding dress without financing it. God had been working with me on my finances and guiding me out of debt, so I was steadfast in my position not to borrow. So I went wedding dress shopping with my mom and best friend, just for fun. Of course, we found the perfect dress! It seemed tailor made just for me. My mom begged and pleaded, reminded me that the wedding was only 4 months away. She offered to put it on her credit card and pay for half herself. She said surely I could afford $20 a month! I held my ground and thanked her for the offer, but I knew God would provide my wedding dress. A month or two later, I was browsing through a thrift store and came across a beautiful traditional wedding dress in the costume area. The bodice and the gorgeous tatting on the bodice were horribly stained. It was $20. I tried it on and it fit perfectly. As I got to the register to pay for it, the cashier informed me it would be 50% off the next day. I came back, paid $10 for it and took it to a seamstress. I paid her $45. She bleached the tatting and made a new bodice for it.
Praise God!
Here's an example: I went wedding dress shopping. I knew I couldn't afford a traditional wedding dress without financing it. God had been working with me on my finances and guiding me out of debt, so I was steadfast in my position not to borrow. So I went wedding dress shopping with my mom and best friend, just for fun. Of course, we found the perfect dress! It seemed tailor made just for me. My mom begged and pleaded, reminded me that the wedding was only 4 months away. She offered to put it on her credit card and pay for half herself. She said surely I could afford $20 a month! I held my ground and thanked her for the offer, but I knew God would provide my wedding dress. A month or two later, I was browsing through a thrift store and came across a beautiful traditional wedding dress in the costume area. The bodice and the gorgeous tatting on the bodice were horribly stained. It was $20. I tried it on and it fit perfectly. As I got to the register to pay for it, the cashier informed me it would be 50% off the next day. I came back, paid $10 for it and took it to a seamstress. I paid her $45. She bleached the tatting and made a new bodice for it.
Praise God!
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How great on the wedding dress. I wouldn't change a thing except to have had it earlier when my husband and I wanted to get married. I made my dress and my honey's tux. We also spent about $1000 total. It was such a beautiful day. God shined his love around us and is still bringing blessings.
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karla said:
We didn't hire a photographer or a videographer. I bought film and brought two cameras. They were there for anyone to use. One of my dear friends daughters decided to be our wedding photographer and took over the cameras. She's a surgeon by profession and yet took the most wonderful pictures! I asked a couple (close friends) if they would be willing to bring their video camera. I said just set it on the tripod pointed in our direction and I'll be fine with however it came out. It wasn't until I watched the video that I realized that he panned and zoomed and did a wonderful job. Someone else had brought a vidoe camera also and did interviews with our friends and family ie. "What advise do you have for the happy couple". I have to say that I really love that part of our videos. Yet, it was nothing we planned.
Like bkg, we also bought a sheet cake. Then a friend surprised us with a "wedding " cake she made herself!
We were very relaxed in the planning of our wedding. We spent more time with the premarital counseling than we did on planning that day. All of the wonderful memories we have from our wedding day were provided by God, some directly and some through our friends and family. It was a truly blessed day!
The one piece of financial advice I'd give to someone planning on getting married, (other than staying out of debt) would be to wait at least a year into marriage before buying a house or any other real estate. Don't commit yourself financially in any way before the wedding day.
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brokenbananas
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There would be very little we would've changed, but we would've had our videographer bring a wireless mic, which we thought he did. My husband does videography as one of our businesses, but we didn't have any videographers locally to do our wedding so we had to hire outside (and this was before he moved to AZ). The sound didn't come out well, but the video otherwise was fine.
The wedding planner was a bit flakey. Flowers were lovely. The photographer, a friend of ours, did the photography for a huge discount.
We spent about $15k and had a very small wedding (35 people including us), so that is expensive for a small wedding. We were able to pay cash and it was outside Sedona in a beautiful, peaceful setting near a creek, red mountains and beautiful scenery around. Had a flute & harp playing. Husband road in on a horse. The Blue Angels flew overhead (unplanned). Doves were released after our vows. Beautiful. Then our reception was at a gorgeous countryclub where we had a ball dancing, playing cool games. Everyone just had a ball. I'd marry Henry all over again. It was a beautiful, fun wedding. We broke a lot of traditions and just wanted people to have fun.
The wedding planner was a bit flakey. Flowers were lovely. The photographer, a friend of ours, did the photography for a huge discount.
We spent about $15k and had a very small wedding (35 people including us), so that is expensive for a small wedding. We were able to pay cash and it was outside Sedona in a beautiful, peaceful setting near a creek, red mountains and beautiful scenery around. Had a flute & harp playing. Husband road in on a horse. The Blue Angels flew overhead (unplanned). Doves were released after our vows. Beautiful. Then our reception was at a gorgeous countryclub where we had a ball dancing, playing cool games. Everyone just had a ball. I'd marry Henry all over again. It was a beautiful, fun wedding. We broke a lot of traditions and just wanted people to have fun.
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Beauty4Ashes
All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .
selune said:
wow u made the dress AND tux! that's sweet!
(sorry, I don't belong in here...I'm leaving now
)
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jazzbird
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I can't think of a thing I would have changed about our wedding day. It truly was perfect. I never expected it would go so smoothly and I would enjoy it so much.
We spent around 10k, and were able to save money by having my sister, who is an artist, do our invitations, and an ameteur photographer friend of my father in law took pictures. By doing this we were able to pay for the reception site that we really wanted. It was beautiful.
I loved everything about our engagement - especially the counseling time with my pastor. The one thing I would do differently about our pre-married life is I would have made sure that we discussed our expectations for the wedding night more thoroughly. We kinda glossed over talking about sex in a meaningful way and that did cause some upset in the beginning of our marriage.
We spent around 10k, and were able to save money by having my sister, who is an artist, do our invitations, and an ameteur photographer friend of my father in law took pictures. By doing this we were able to pay for the reception site that we really wanted. It was beautiful.
I loved everything about our engagement - especially the counseling time with my pastor. The one thing I would do differently about our pre-married life is I would have made sure that we discussed our expectations for the wedding night more thoroughly. We kinda glossed over talking about sex in a meaningful way and that did cause some upset in the beginning of our marriage.
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Mistyfogg
Well-Known Member
I would not change a thing. To me, the marriage is more important than the wedding. So my hubby and I went to Las vegas and eloped. The chapel ended up doing it for free because my husband is in the military and they said they see thousands of couples every year, but there are only a few that strike them as truly in love.
p.s. We got married by Elvis...lol
p.s. We got married by Elvis...lol
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Seeking...
A strange kettle of fish ...
The wedding was beautiful - but it wasn't exactly what I wanted. We cut our engagement from 2 years to 6 months and if I had to do it over again - I would have kept it at 2 years. It isn't that a bigger wedding would have been better - the additional year and a half to work on our relationship would have been.
I think it cost us about 10K including honeymoon.
I think it cost us about 10K including honeymoon.
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Warrior Poet
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