Wedding Thread

[Inkachu]

My best advice would be this: A wedding ceremony and reception has a lot of traditions to it. There is absolutely no reason to not make it your own. If there is something you want to add to it - add it. If there is something you want to leave out - leave it out. This is your day. You definitely don't want to look back and wish that you had done something or not done something, so plan it out the way you want it. Also, it will never go perfectly. If you stress too much about every little detail, you are going to go insane. At some point, things will fall into place and, even with mistakes and unplanned happenings, remember that the most important thing is that the bride is there, the groom is there and you walk away together as husband and wife. Anything else will fade over time.

I'm so glad you made your wedding personal instead of feeling obligated to conform! That's how I feel, too. And I totally agree with this last paragraph of your post

 

[Cute Tink]

I'm so glad you made your wedding personal instead of feeling obligated to conform! That's how I feel, too. And I totally agree with this last paragraph of your post

Thanks. It was my second wedding and everyone was deferring to me on how to run things, since we didn't hire a wedding planner. I checked with my wife to see how she wanted things and we just kinda ran with whatever ideas we wanted. It was a little stressful being in charge of everything, but it all worked out good in the end.

 

[Wren]

I had a rented tux, though I wouldn't have minded buying it had I had the money at the time. My wife picked her dress out at a discount place. It was a dress she loved right away. It was simple, but looked fantastic on her. Keep discount places in mind when shopping for the dress. I know the dress is super important to a lot of people, but that doesn't mean it has to have a matching price tag.

Since my wife's dad was not at our ceremony, her kids were the ones who "gave her away" to me.

I absolutely agree about discount places and the idea of thinking outside the box for the dress(es). I got mine at a women's clothing store for a low price, rather than get a fancy gown at a bridal shop. I looked at a variety of gowns on David's Bridal's website and even though those dresses were usually fancier and more expensive, I liked mine much more.

That reminds me. I wasn't sure who I was going to have give me away, if anyone (since the whole exchange of property thing irks the feminist in me). I ended up just walking down the aisle by myself.

 

[Inkachu]

I absolutely agree about discount places and the idea of thinking outside the box for the dress(es). I got mine at a women's clothing store for a low price, rather than get a fancy gown at a bridal shop. I looked at a variety of gowns on David's Bridal's website and even though those dresses were usually fancier and more expensive, I liked mine much more.

That reminds me. I wasn't sure who I was going to have give me away, if anyone (since the whole exchange of property thing irks the feminist in me). I ended up just walking down the aisle by myself.

Off topic: I love your avatar!! Bulldogs =

On topic: I agree with both of your points. My dress (Lord, may it fit lol) isn't a "bridal" gown, it's just a beautiful dress that I happened to find. I think a lot more women than most realize, are moving away from feeling so bound by TRADITION and expectation, and are doing what makes them happy, and I love seeing that.

I'm also walking myself down the aisle. No one is "giving me away" - the thought alone makes me want to laugh lol. I'm giving myself to Don of my own accord, period My parents will walk down ahead of me, because I do want to honor the people who brought me into the world and raised me. But ain't nobody givin' the Vickster away She gives herself.

 

[Tink]

I walked myself down the aisle too. I was going to have my mom walk with me, but she ended up breaking her ankle a few days before.

Also, my dad is deceased, so I had a candle set on a candlestand at the front of the church in order to honor him.

 

[Inkachu]

I walked myself down the aisle too. I was going to have my mom walk with me, but she ended up breaking her ankle a few days before.

Ohhh, that is so sad lol.

My dad's mental faculties are definitely deteriorating, so I hope God lets him be clear and calm that day. One thing I've always prayed is that, if I got married, that my dad could be there AND in good physical and mental health.

On another note, I was just thinking last night, that one of my prayers in recent years has been for three things: a husband, a house, and a dog. All three of them seemed so out of reach for so long

 

[Wren]

Off topic: I love your avatar!! Bulldogs =

Thanks! I saw this image on Tumblr and it seemed perfect. I love bulldogs.

On topic: I agree with both of your points. My dress (Lord, may it fit lol) isn't a "bridal" gown, it's just a beautiful dress that I happened to find. I think a lot more women than most realize, are moving away from feeling so bound by TRADITION and expectation, and are doing what makes them happy, and I love seeing that.

I'm also walking myself down the aisle. No one is "giving me away" - the thought alone makes me want to laugh lol. I'm giving myself to Don of my own accord, period My parents will walk down ahead of me, because I do want to honor the people who brought me into the world and raised me. But ain't nobody givin' the Vickster away She gives herself.

I love that! I did consider walking down the aisle with my mother, but she was having pain in her leg or hip and doesn't like people looking at her any more than I do. (I actually looked down and not proud/forward when I was walking down the aisle towards the end. I felt so awkward having everyone staring at me. Thank goodness we had such a small wedding and so few eyes to stare.) Things worked out for the best. It was mainly Puffca who wanted me to have my mother walk me down the aisle. I figured that if he could walk himself down, so I could I.

 

[Inkachu]

I love that! I did consider walking down the aisle with my mother, but she was having pain in her leg or hip and doesn't like people looking at her any more than I do. (I actually looked down and not proud/forward when I was walking down the aisle towards the end. I felt so awkward having everyone staring at me. Thank goodness we had such a small wedding and so few eyes to stare.) Things worked out for the best. It was mainly Puffca who wanted me to have my mother walk me down the aisle. I figured that if he could walk himself down, so I could I.

Yeah, my mom has expressed some subtle pressures about letting my dad walk me, but 1) that's beyond old-fashioned and pointless in our current culture, and 2) I have never been very close to my dad emotionally, and I'm not going to pretend like we're a Hallmark card when we aren't. I'm really, REALLY glad that it's becoming more acceptable to veer away from the pressures of traditions, and to just do what makes the bride and groom happy. If I were getting married in a culture where I felt forced to conform to a thousand ridiculous traditions, I'd probably elope lol. Like I've said in other posts, I DO realize that my parents gave me life and raised me, and I DO want to honor them at my wedding, but nobody is "giving me away"... that phrase is laughable lol.

I hate being the center of attention, or stared at, too. (Except on stage, but that really is a different scenario.) My mom keeps asking me if she can invite this person or that person (most of whom I barely or don't know), and I've told her NO. I wish I had some more friends and relatives who could be there, but no way do I want strangers or people I hardly know staring at me during one of the most intimate moments of my life. I feel weird just knowing people are going to stare at me when I kiss Don lol. Will that stop me from smooching him? Of course not. But I don't like knowing that a few dozen eyeballs will be plastered on us lol. There should be a "look away please, folks" moment or something, heh.

 

[Amber.ly]

I am looking forward to the tradition of my Dad walking me down the aisle To me personally it is neither insulting nor archaic.

But I think it is awesome that y'all are doing things your own way. No point in having a wedding you are miserable during LOL

Vicky- do you have any attendants? Did you pick out a dress for them?

 

[LadyOfMystery]

Dads going to walk me down the aisle as well.

I like this style of dress, came across it in a salespaper:

 

[Cute Tink]

I forgot that because her dad wasn't available and her mom doesn't like attention on her and has vision issues, my dad agreed to walk her down the aisle. It made him feel pretty special that she wanted him to do that and it helped her not be so nervous.

 

[Inkachu]

I am looking forward to the tradition of my Dad walking me down the aisle To me personally it is neither insulting nor archaic.

But I think it is awesome that y'all are doing things your own way. No point in having a wedding you are miserable during LOL

Vicky- do you have any attendants? Did you pick out a dress for them?

Nope, no attendants Haven't really had any close friends since high school. Becoming a mom at 22 meant going to work and forsaking pretty much all social activities lol. It's a bit sad, but hey, what are ya gonna do! Maybe I'll have a big circle of friends when I celebrate my anniversary in a few decades and we'll sit around and twitter like feisty old ladies do lol.

 

[Tink]

Yeah, my mom has expressed some subtle pressures about letting my dad walk me, but 1) that's beyond old-fashioned and pointless in our current culture, and 2) I have never been very close to my dad emotionally, and I'm not going to pretend like we're a Hallmark card when we aren't. I'm really, REALLY glad that it's becoming more acceptable to veer away from the pressures of traditions, and to just do what makes the bride and groom happy. If I were getting married in a culture where I felt forced to conform to a thousand ridiculous traditions, I'd probably elope lol. Like I've said in other posts, I DO realize that my parents gave me life and raised me, and I DO want to honor them at my wedding, but nobody is "giving me away"... that phrase is laughable lol.

I hate being the center of attention, or stared at, too. (Except on stage, but that really is a different scenario.) My mom keeps asking me if she can invite this person or that person (most of whom I barely or don't know), and I've told her NO. I wish I had some more friends and relatives who could be there, but no way do I want strangers or people I hardly know staring at me during one of the most intimate moments of my life. I feel weird just knowing people are going to stare at me when I kiss Don lol. Will that stop me from smooching him? Of course not. But I don't like knowing that a few dozen eyeballs will be plastered on us lol. There should be a "look away please, folks" moment or something, heh.

Regarding the bolded: maybe you could pretend you're onstage for a few minutes. Hehehe.

Also, I didn't have any attendants either and I do have several friends. So, don't even worry about that!

 

[Hadassah_]

Yeah, my mom has expressed some subtle pressures about letting my dad walk me, but 1) that's beyond old-fashioned and pointless in our current culture, and 2) I have never been very close to my dad emotionally, and I'm not going to pretend like we're a Hallmark card when we aren't. I'm really, REALLY glad that it's becoming more acceptable to veer away from the pressures of traditions, and to just do what makes the bride and groom happy. If I were getting married in a culture where I felt forced to conform to a thousand ridiculous traditions, I'd probably elope lol. Like I've said in other posts, I DO realize that my parents gave me life and raised me, and I DO want to honor them at my wedding, but nobody is "giving me away"... that phrase is laughable lol.

I am looking forward to the tradition of my Dad walking me down the aisle To me personally it is neither insulting nor archaic.

But I think it is awesome that y'all are doing things your own way. No point in having a wedding you are miserable during LOL

My dad walked me down the aisle and did the traditional "giving away" but he really wasn't. I had been on my own and a parent for many years so it was just a formality for us.

When I was previously engaged my oldest asked to be the one to walk me down the aisle. I may have them both since I'm not getting married anytime soon and they'll both be able to. Thing 2 just didn't want to because he felt he was too little.

I like that we have the option of personal preference. I also like that I don't care (to an extent) if I hurt someone's feelings because that day will be about no one but me, my hubby to be, and my kids. It's a day where we offically join together as a family and others are just there to witness it and share in our love and joy; not dictate or participate.

 

[Inkachu]

Regarding the bolded: maybe you could pretend you're onstage for a few minutes. Hehehe.

Also, I didn't have any attendants either and I do have several friends. So, don't even worry about that!

I'm used to being on my own, but for a wedding day, I do wish I had some sisters or girl friends to hover and squeal and help me with my hair and stuff. *sniff* Just the kind of day where a girl needs another girl around. But I will perservere!

I like that we have the option of personal preference. I also like that I don't care (to an extent) if I hurt someone's feelings because that day will be about no one but me, my hubby to be, and my kids. It's a day where we offically join together as a family and others are just there to witness it and share in our love and joy; not dictate or participate.

Josh is SO raring and ready to be the ring bearer Unlike most boys, he loves to dress "fancy" and when I said he could just wear a vest or a tie, he said "NO, I want a tuxdeo!" with a hungry glint in his eyes lol. He'll put on his little suit for any special occasion, even if I'm wearing jeans, hehe. Don and I did decide that we'll buy a box for our rings (so Josh doesn't have to carry a "girly pillow") and Josh can paint it and decorate it any way he wants, so he feels he's really contributing to the day.

 

[Wren]

Vicky, if it helps (and my experience is anything to go by), I only really had a difficult time with being watched as I walked down the aisle. Once I was up by Puffca, I was able to focus solely on him and the pastor. I had previously not wanted any kids at the wedding, in case they were distruptive and distracting, but we did have kids at the wedding and one even was loud at one point, but it didn't even bother me...which I was surprised by.

 

[Inkachu]

Vicky, if it helps (and my experience is anything to go by), I only really had a difficult time with being watched as I walked down the aisle. Once I was up by Puffca, I was able to focus solely on him and the pastor. I had previously not wanted any kids at the wedding, in case they were distruptive and distracting, but we did have kids at the wedding and one even was loud at one point, but it didn't even bother me...which I was surprised by.

Thanks I'll be fine! The walk down doesn't intimidate me - I've actually always wanted a really LONG walk, so I could savor the moment, as well as play some beautiful music for everyone to hear And I'm not worried about the kiss at all; I just wish it could happen without people watching lol.

 

[Wren]

This seems like the best place to post this. I lurk in Singles (because it gets kind of boring in the Hangout sometimes), saw this thread http://www.christianforums.com/t7627253/, and wanted to respond. Puffca did not ask my mother for permission or her blessing to marry me and I'm glad. My mom would have felt uncomfortable being asked and, like K9 Trainer's great posts say, it seems like a sexist tradition of patriarchal society. If it was done truly traditional and my brother was asked permission (since my father is dead), he would have either laughed or looked at Puffca like he was the oddest creature who ever lived.

 

[Tink]

Dustin asked my sister...but as a joke.

 

[Inkachu]

Deleted because I make no sense lol.