We disagree about evolution...

[bovinity]

My wife and I were both raised to believe in a young earth and 6-day creation, but as I've studied the evidence for evolution, I've determined that my interpretation of Genesis may have been inaccurate. I still believe that God created everything, I just have a disagreement with her on the "how" of it. My faith in Jesus and the spiritual authority of the Bible is unchanged.

It's not exactly "unequally yoked," but you wouldn't know it from my wife's (understandably) unhappy response.

As you might suspect, she's having a very difficult time with this and has told me I'm basically throwing out the Bible. I feel terrible, because I feel like my change in belief is unexpected to her and is causing a rift, but I can't really just change what I think.

I'm not sure what to do, because I'm trying to keep the peace and unity with her, but she is pretty angry with me. I'm wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this--from either side of the issue.

 

[akmom]

Yes. I was also raised with the literal interpretation of Genesis (young earth), and four years of biology has changed my impression of what it means. Without going into detail, I think my beliefs resemble what you describe.

It is not so much a factor in my marriage, because my husband is equally educated. Our parents, however, were not. So we don't discuss it with them. It only makes them upset, and they don't have the educational background for meaningful dialogue to occur. Sometimes I come across information that, to me, really supports some aspect of the scriptures. (I am not referring only to origins theory.) And I have often shared these things with my parents, thinking that they would find it just as interesting. But you know, it really only makes them uncomfortable. Even though it is non-controversial and does not question biblical accuracy, it involves looking at biblical concepts in a different way, and they feel threatened by it. So I have learned to refrain from that.

I can understand how that would be more difficult in a marriage, because you want to be able to share your beliefs and way of thought with your spouse. But if educational background is starkly different, I think certain subject matters necessarily have to be avoided. And really, she can't dictate what you think. No one can. She can pray for wisdom and share her own beliefs and concerns, but she shouldn't get angry that you don't see things a certain way.

I'm sorry I don't really have advice for you, but I just wanted to say I understand your situation.

 

[bovinity]

Thanks. Even without advice, it's nice to know someone can relate.

I just had the conversation with my dad, who is a pastor. Thankfully, though he had his concerns, he handled it a lot better than my wife and reassured me that it wasn't a "make it or break it" issue.

I also just had a conversation with my OWN pastor, who is somewhat more rough around the edges… not quite as amiable decision, but we both fell back on the agreement that we love each other and love God.

 

[ValleyGal]

My husband and I are both very well educated as well as Christian. He is an "old-earth creationist" (whatever that means), and I am a young-earth creationist. People talk about old-earth "evidence" and all I can say is "my God is a God of miracles and nothing stopped him from creating everything in varying forms of 'evolution' all within a short time." My thing is that God performs miracles, so why not create earth as a miracle. But there are those who do not necessarily believe that God used miracles to create only a short time ago.

Thing is, our faith (or our marriage) is not contingent on young or old earth. He is entitled to believe as he does, and I respect him and his love for God nonetheless. What we believe about creation is not a "deal breaker" in our marriage or our relationship. We disagree, but we respect each other's right to believe as we believe.

One thing you did say in your OP that I would like to clarify...you said "but I can't really just change what I think." But if you used to believe in a young earth creation, you did exactly what you say you can't do....you changed your belief. And in fact, as we mature and grow in our faith, and become more like Christ, isn't that exactly what we are doing - changing the core of who we are and what we believe? Personally I think we are. I do not believe everything I was taught as a child, but what I was taught was a good foundation....then I went and learned, studied, and challenged some of those beliefs that did not sit well with me as I got older. Nothing wrong with that....as long as you and your spouse grow together - even if that is respecting the right to disagree.

 

[bovinity]

Thanks for the thoughts…

What I meant was that I can't "just change what I think" at will. I can't just wake up one morning and decide, "despite the evidence, I'm just going to believe what I believe." Yes, my beliefs CAN change, but only in response to new input that helps to correct my thinking and (hopefully) bring me closer to reality. But I can't just say, "I believe in evolution… and now I don't because my wife doesn't want me to."

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Well remember, the devil tries to make us believe everything but what the bible says is true. Example science says we came from apes. Science can explain miracles. SCience can pretty much prove everything it thinks. But remember alot of is based on theory. Its not like they have time machines and went back and could show actual evidence of what they say. As a christian I had questioned my own beliefs many times after reading things I probably shouldn't.

You can change what you think. You have to ignore what your mind is telling you is "really" correct and listen to what God says is correct. I go to the example of people who see a light when they almost die and come back. Science says its their complex brain creating that light and it has nothing to do with God. So while I know what sciences says, it doens't mean I have to believe it. If you believe whatever another human tells you is truth, then you are to some degree as your wife says throwing away your bible.

Thanks to the devil though we struggle with accepting what we know is right and accepting what he puts in the world that is wrong. In terms of marriage its always best to try and agree on biblical things. Or else it will cause problems later on. For example when children come along whos view should be taught? If all else fails and you can't convince yourself of the belief you had before then give in to God and say "I'm sticking with what you say is true God. I am having 100% faith and will not believe what I just read as being the real truth!".

Aside from that not sure what other advice I can give. Just watch your marriage carefully because sometimes these subjects may start as smell cuts, but they can fester into huge deadly things over time. Actually I'd go here ( http://www.christianforums.com/f232/ ) and post about this issue. This way you can get lots of advice about what you feel about evolution. Maybe as you said it will convince you that your original views were correct.

 

[ProudMomxmany]

Who cares! Its not a salvational issue. Bottom line, God created the universe. How it happened is not a big deal.

 

[akmom]

Freakazoid and ProudMom, I love your responses and I'm so glad you shared them. It is true that we can just accept things as the Bible says, avoid literature that challenges it, and decide not to contemplate it.

But some of us have a deep fascination with science, and history, and love to investigate the discoveries and ponder the extrapolations about our natural world and past. For some of us, we happened upon this information while studying something else. So I don't think that is an option for everyone. And I don't think curiosity is evil or Satan-inspired.

As for raising children, I don't think you have to settle on a philosophy. You can just be honest with them. "Here is what the Bible says, here is what scientists believe about this specific aspect of biology/geology/etc., and this is what your mother and father think." Faith is not contingent on ignorance or misinformation. Sometimes I feel like "creationists" are so busy vilifying evolution, or discrediting the whole concept, that they shut themselves off to science and natural history entirely. Then they try debating science on unequal footing, and come across less than compelling...

 

[ProudMomxmany]

Freakazoid and ProudMom, I love your responses and I'm so glad you shared them. It is true that we can just accept things as the Bible says, avoid literature that challenges it, and decide not to contemplate it.

But some of us have a deep fascination with science, and history, and love to investigate the discoveries and ponder the extrapolations about our natural world and past. For some of us, we happened upon this information while studying something else. So I don't think that is an option for everyone. And I don't think curiosity is evil or Satan-inspired.

As for raising children, I don't think you have to settle on a philosophy. You can just be honest with them. "Here is what the Bible says, here is what scientists believe about this specific aspect of biology/geology/etc., and this is what your mother and father think." Faith is not contingent on ignorance or misinformation. Sometimes I feel like "creationists" are so busy vilifying evolution, or discrediting the whole concept, that they shut themselves off to science and natural history entirely. Then they try debating science on unequal footing, and come across less than compelling...

My kids have grown up understanding that the first chapters of Genesis are a myth...that is, a story made up by a culture to explain their origins. There are parts that are true, there are parts that are made up.

We got our heads screwed on straight after leaving uber-fundamentalism. Fortunately we were out before we could screw up our kids too badly.

 

[seeingeyes]

Whenever she talks about 6-day creation, change the subject to Christ. He's all that matters anyway.

God bless

 

[ProudMomxmany]

Whenever she talks about 6-day creation, change the subject to Christ. He's all that matters anyway.

God bless

AMEN!

 

[Hetta]

My wife and I were both raised to believe in a young earth and 6-day creation, but as I've studied the evidence for evolution, I've determined that my interpretation of Genesis may have been inaccurate. I still believe that God created everything, I just have a disagreement with her on the "how" of it. My faith in Jesus and the spiritual authority of the Bible is unchanged.

It's not exactly "unequally yoked," but you wouldn't know it from my wife's (understandably) unhappy response.

As you might suspect, she's having a very difficult time with this and has told me I'm basically throwing out the Bible. I feel terrible, because I feel like my change in belief is unexpected to her and is causing a rift, but I can't really just change what I think.

I'm not sure what to do, because I'm trying to keep the peace and unity with her, but she is pretty angry with me. I'm wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this--from either side of the issue.

I have taken a lot of science classes in the last few years, and I have found that the more I learn, the less I understand. Ha. I do believe that we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made.' The more I learned about the body, the more I was convinced that a creator was involved, because the intricacies and wonders of a human being needs some explanation. However, I do not believe that the Bible is meant to be interpreted literally so far as the beginning of the world, Adam & Eve etc.

Have you tried to share with your wife how you came to this change in beliefs? Would she listen if you explained?

I have found that faith and science can co-exist very well. I hope that you find that too.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

But some of us have a deep fascination with science, and history, and love to investigate the discoveries and ponder the extrapolations about our natural world and past. For some of us, we happened upon this information while studying something else. So I don't think that is an option for everyone. And I don't think curiosity is evil or Satan-inspired.

Oh I agree. I love science. I'm not sure how anyone can see the human body and its infinite complexities and say God isn't real. Or look at the universe and its...well its everything and think Gods not real. I know though when my faith was shaken I started going to a mostly atheist forum (mostly to debate) and alot of what I learned stuck in my head and I questioned some things. In the end as someone else said we can have whatever views we like. Its not like God has score card and is saying "Well Bob over there has 5 wrong views. Hes kicked out of heaven now!". lol.

 

[akmom]

Reading opposing viewpoints can enhance perspective, but I don't know if I'd bother with atheist forums. They tend to be full of vitriol, and it all ties back to that philosophy. The realm of scientific literature is much more enlightening.

That said, I encountered three professors in college who professed to be young earth creationists. Their fields were chemistry, marine sciences and physics. They discussed a lot of interesting perspectives on the topic, within Christian circles. I think people who are really interested in origins theory tend to investigate one topic at a time, instead of attempting to dismantle the entire interdisciplinary concept termed "evolution" as a whole, Ken Ham-style. (They sure didn't have a lot of positive things to say about anti-evolution organizations like Answers In Genesis, which tends to employ non-scientists.) I'm kind of in the same boat, that if you are going to evangelize about creationism, you could at least bother to get a degree in the subject(s) you're discussing. For the lay person not publishing books on the topic, I'm not picky.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I'm not sure what advice I would have on it, just wanted to put out there that I'm a full on evolutionist and amateur science-nerd, and a Christian who believes that the Genesis story was put out there not to give a literal account of creation, but to teach us about ourselves and our place relative to God, among other things. I question the wisdom of any philosophy (evolutionary creationism, old-earth creation etc) that throws away the scientific method, and I am content in the fact that we'll never know EXACTLY how God did it - that's one of those questions we can ask Him after we die.

The question that I can't get past is why would God create the earth 6,000 years ago or something, then leave behind a ton of details that throw off His tracks that magically happen to be scientifically accurate in other uses, yet are somehow "placed in the way by satan" when relating to when the earth was created? Why would satan waste his time trying to convince Christians to believe that the earth is old? Wouldn't his purposes be better served convincing us to do the opposite of what Christ taught us - oppress the poor and the needy, refuse to help the least of us, place mammon over God etc?

 

[ValleyGal]

Why would satan waste his time trying to convince Christians to believe that the earth is old?

I would not go so far as to think all that science was put there by satan, but if it was, I'd say it's for the very reason stated in the OP. Now there is dissension in the marriage - a foothold for breaking family down.

Wouldn't his purposes be better served convincing us to do the opposite of what Christ taught us - oppress the poor and the needy, refuse to help the least of us, place mammon over God etc?

Satan uses whatever tactics he can. Even atheists believe in morality such as being kind to those who are oppressed, and satan can appear as light, misleading many to believe he is of God. It's just one more tactic.

So relating to the OP, the point is to not let the disagreement become a foothold for dissension.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I would not go so far as to think all that science was put there by satan, but if it was, I'd say it's for the very reason stated in the OP. Now there is dissension in the marriage - a foothold for breaking family down.



Satan uses whatever tactics he can. Even atheists believe in morality such as being kind to those who are oppressed, and satan can appear as light, misleading many to believe he is of God. It's just one more tactic.

So relating to the OP, the point is to not let the disagreement become a foothold for dissension.

The only thing that I agree with is the last thing you said about dissension. But the rest of what you said I have problems with. So you think that science (not all, but at least some) was put there to sow dissension? Or just the science which argues against young earth creation? So like, dinosaur bones? What about those? Are they put there by satan or did they actually live 6,000 years ago?

 

[akmom]

"Satan put those bones there" is an argument I have only ever heard from atheists mocking creationists.

Most creationists believe that they are the fossilized remains of animals. The disagreement is in the dating methods (or assumptions behind those methods), or in the processes behind it (uniformitarianism vs. catastrophism).

 

[IndyEllis]

Why would satan waste his time trying to convince Christians to believe that the earth is old?

What a funny question.

 

[Avniel]

Darwin admitted if they could prove a cell is complex then his theory was wrong. Darwin thought that all cells were simple....Google darwin and complexity of a cell. Evolution wouldn't make sense to darwin today if he were alive due to technology advances.