Ways for less?

[Faye]

Ok I have a weird problem.
I have sex about twice a day and my husband wants more. I find that the foreplay takes such a long time that I'm just not in the mood for more, but I think I could be if there was a way to get ready a bit faster. He doesn't like to use lube.

Does anyone know of ways that could help this?

 

[Jillian1527]

goodness your husband is lucky you go for 2 times a day. My husband would love to just get it once a day but I just have interest for that much. I am anxious to hear what every one has to say for this one.

good luck,
Jillian

 

[IslandBreeze]

I'm really shocked to hear that a man doesn't like lube. It's been our saving grace for 'quickies' and hubby and I both love it. Is there any reason in specific that he doesn't like lube? That's about the only solution I know of to your problem.

 

[herev]

I'm really shocked to hear that a man doesn't like lube. It's been our saving grace for 'quickies' and hubby and I both love it. Is there any reason in specific that he doesn't like lube? That's about the only solution I know of to your problem.

as a man, I ditto this post!

 

[Jenna]

I dunno. I don't like lube. Maybe it's because I don't have a special warmer for it. *laughs* I find that a well used "massager" *wiggles eyebrows* normally helps me to get things moving faster.

 

[E-beth]

UGH

This whole thread is a big bunch of TMI.

 

[Faye]

I'm cool with PMs if this thread is too out there.

 

[Talmid HaYarok]

Mmaybe a disclaimer for those reading the thread? I'm interested in following this thread.

I'm a big fan of things natural rather than artificial. I'd like to hear from Bible following couples more ways of encouraging a healthy sex life naturally.

 

[Leanna]

I think foreplay is necessary and a part of sex and with cutting that out part of the experience is lost. I don't see the point in making an effort to cut it out so that it can be called three times a day instead of two. The whole lovemaking experience should not be about penetration only. Blah to this whole idea.

 

[WashedClean]

I think foreplay is necessary and a part of sex and with cutting that out part of the experience is lost. I don't see the point in making an effort to cut it out so that it can be called three times a day instead of two. The whole lovemaking experience should not be about penetration only. Blah to this whole idea.

I agree Leanna!

 

[GirlieGirl]

Be thinking about having sex with him before anything happens. If you're prepared mentally, your mood and desire will be ready a lot faster.

 

[Victrixa]

I personally think that your husband should think about you (and not just about himself) and how you feel. Have you spoken to him about the way you feel, that you do not wish to have that much sex? A husband should be concerned about his wife's feelings...

 

[charligirl]

I personally think that your husband should think about you (and not just about himself) and how you feel. Have you spoken to him about the way you feel, that you do not wish to have that much sex? A husband should be concerned about his wife's feelings...

I agree, twice a day!! Most married couples I know would settle for every other day!

I also agree with Leanna. Making love is exactly that, it's not just about penetration, foreplay is incorrectly named in my opinion - it's not about 'PLAYing' beFORE' the actual act, it IS love making as much as the final penetration.

If I remember correctly, you were having problems with pain in this area a few months back - obviously you have worked through this if you are making love this regularly. Could it be that your body just doesn't respond to that much sex??

Personally I don't like lube, because my body tells me when I am ready for sex, I wouldn't want to do it artificially if I could help it. I'm sure as I get older and hormones change so will I, but for now I would rather be as natural as possible.

 

[bliz]

There are lots of different kinds of sex. I'm talking about married sex in a Christian marriage. Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it's a quickie. Sometimes you laugh the whole time. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes he initiates; sometimes you do. Sometimes you do particular things that you don't do the next time, ad nauseum...

So, negotiate. If you don't want long, seductive sex every time, say so. Say it someday when you are not in the bedroom and work out what you can both happily live with. "If we have long seductive sex once a day, any other times will be "quickies." Or maybe it's only the third time that needs to be the quickie... or you alternate days or whatever you are both comfortable with.

He has a right to your body and you have a right to his. He may not like lube, but your body is also involved here so the use of lube needs to be discussed not decided unilaterally. Just as it does with every other aspect of a sexual relationship.

 

[thekawasakikid]

He should be grateful he has the ability to contemplate three times a day!

Me, I am lucky to manage twice a day and then I am like a major league pitcher and need several days' rest :o

I'd agree with some of the women who've already posted - sex shouldn't always be about penetration - even for a man (thinking of traditional stereotypes here!). Sometimes, IMO, sex shouldn't even necessarily result in penetration, but that's just me and I'm not Catholic

 

[Faye]

I would say that by natural apetite I'd only go about every day or two. He respects if I'm not in the mood, but by the same token I really try to satisfy him as well. Before we were married he was all "7 times a day!"... still haven't made that goal even one day yet LOL. Though I'm pretty sure he still wants that even if it might not be practical. I think my body is just not interested in more than once or twice a day so it's a matter of being physically available to him beyond that (although he'd really like to feel able to seduce me more than that, and he tries). Someone mentioned mentally preparing myself, but... somehow I need more than just thinking about sex to get me in the mood, I dunno that just doesn't do it for me.

When he wants it, he wants penetration, so that's kinda the issue. I think succeeding at quickies would probably be the best solution.

 

[Faye]

By the way, my husband is a prime example of what 27 years of abstinence before marriage will do to a guy when he finally gets married.

 

[MrDude]

Hmm, you know I'm kinda getting the impression that the wives don't seem to enjoy sex very much. At least no where near as much as the husbands.

 

[Why?]

Hmm, you know I'm kinda getting the impression that the wives don't seem to enjoy sex very much. At least no where near as much as the husbands.

LOL! Yeah, well, it's a whole lot easier for guys.

Sorry I don't have any advice for quickies other than lube. And there are some really fun lubes...

 

[Leanna]

Hmm, you know I'm kinda getting the impression that the wives don't seem to enjoy sex very much. At least no where near as much as the husbands.

Where did you get that from?? I didn't see anyone say that. I know that isn't true for me, if I am neglected then I wonder what is wrong.