Washing childs mouth out with soap?

[straightforward]

I heard from a friend of mine that washing a childs mouth out with soap can be dangerous and has caused death. I tried to do a search for this and found nothing. It never killed me...and hasn't hurt any of my kids...but she had seen something about it on the news.

Has anyone else heard anything like this?

If yes...do you know of any further information on the web about it?

Thanks!

 

[psychoceramic]

It never killed me...and hasn't hurt any of my kids...but she had seen something about it on the news.

Has anyone else heard anything like this?

If yes...do you know of any further information on the web about it?

Thanks!

i dont know if you meant to be funny... but i busted up laughing at your post.........


and as my wife and i sit here, we to are victims/survivors of the soap in the mouth gimmick. And as far as i know we arent dead either.

 

[straightforward]

i dont know if you meant to be funny... but i busted up laughing at your post.........


and as my wife and i sit here, we to are victims/survivors of the soap in the mouth gimmick. And as far as i know we arent dead either.

No...I didn't mean to be funny but I laughed at my friend when she told me about this too. I can't find anything about this anywhere. She got very upset with me that I would "take a chance with my childs life" by putting soap in their mouth. Just figured I'd put this question out and see if any one else had heard of something like this.

 

[bliz]

And how do your kids feel about having had their mouths washed out with soap?

It was done to me once, over 40 years ago, and to this day I can tell you the kind of soap, what room we were in and exactly how it was done. It is such a cold and calculated action! What I cannot begin to tell you is how angry I was, and how angry I remain at such a planned and deliberate violation done by someone who loved me.

I don't care if it's dangerous or not; I find it a very hard action to justify.

"Provoke not your children to wrath lest it provide a foodhold for the devil."

 

[straightforward]

And how do your kids feel about having had their mouths washed out with soap?

It was done to me once, over 40 years ago, and to this day I can tell you the kind of soap, what room we were in and exactly how it was done. It is such a cold and calculated action! What I cannot begin to tell you is how angry I was, and how angry I remain at such a planned and deliberate violation done by someone who loved me.

I don't care if it's dangerous or not; I find it a very hard action to justify.

"Provoke not your children to wrath lest it provide a foodhold for the devil."

I understand what you are saying. I would ask, though, if you had not first provoked your parents? I would guess they had some reason for putting soap in your mouth? And I would guess you never did it again if you only got soap in your mouth once. As a child I never learned my lesson that way...I got soap in my mouth more times than I could count. It was horrible. That's the point...isn't it? My husband and I have set down the rules...we have told them what will get them soap in their mouth...if they don't like it they will not choose to do the things that will bring about that punishment. I believe this is fair.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth." Ephesians 6:1-3

 

[selune]

And how do your kids feel about having had their mouths washed out with soap?

It was done to me once, over 40 years ago, and to this day I can tell you the kind of soap, what room we were in and exactly how it was done. It is such a cold and calculated action! What I cannot begin to tell you is how angry I was, and how angry I remain at such a planned and deliberate violation done by someone who loved me.

I don't care if it's dangerous or not; I find it a very hard action to justify.

"Provoke not your children to wrath lest it provide a foodhold for the devil."

Then again when it was done to me I tell you I sure shaped up and didn't cause that kind of trouble again. It was yellow Dial bar soap and I had to bite into the bar (not a piece off, but get teeth marks on it) Man Dial sure leaves an aftertaste that lasts. Yeah I was angry, but not moreso than when I received other punishments for my bad behavior. Deciding how to punish a kid based on whether or not they'll get upset isn't the best line to follow in my opinion.

 

[BeanMak]

I too vividly remember getting Ivory soap in my mouth once, obviously I never repeated the offending crime. I used it once on my son for biting his brother. He never bit him again!

 

[Andry]

This OP may open the proverbial can of worms that's been addressed in this forum a number of times regarding discipline and / or spanking.

I've only used the 'wash your mouth with soap' as an expression to my kid, although as some of you have experienced, it was literal.

I have never punished my kid. And I don't expect to either. But I have and continue to correct my kid. Which is very different altogether.

Discipline is correction. Not punishment. Just my visualizing the process that I would need and the circumstances that would have to exist in order for me to literally 'wash my son's mouth with soap' is outside my character and my upbringing. What it would take for me to do that would be to have such anger that exceeds the cries of my child begging to stop. I'd rather but a bullet through my head before I allow my child to beg for mercy while I had the power to give mercy and grace.

I cannot imaging God as our heavenly Father punishing us like that when we are begging and pleading for mercy. That's not God's way. He will correct us, he will chastice us, yes. And oftentimes we may view his correction as punishment. But I stand by my conviction, that God's way of disciplining us is very different than most parents disciplining their kids. How sad.

 

[jenptcfan]

The only way I can think of it being dangerous is if it has an ingredient that the child is allergic to or if they swallow some of it and choke on it?

But yes, I got soap in my mouth a couple of times as a child, and I've lived to tell about it.

My experience of having my mouth washed out was not that someone held me down and did it for me though. I had to do it myself. There was no begging for mercy or anything like that. That seems a little overly dramatic based on my own personal experience.

 

[pmcleanj]

As a child I never learned my lesson that way...I got soap in my mouth more times than I could count. It was horrible. That's the point...isn't it?

No. The point is not for it to be horrible. The point is to stop the unacceptable behaviour. And it didn't do that.

 

[pmcleanj]

I have never punished my kid. And I don't expect to either. But I have and continue to correct my kid. Which is very different altogether.

Good for you! I know a number of children who are reared this way, and they are well-behaved and compassionate.

 

[bliz]

For the record, the time my mouth was washed out with soap I had repeated a "dirty word" that I had picked up from a kid in the nieghborhood and incorpoerated it into song I was making up while swinging on the swing in my backyard. At that point in my life, I was never aware of having heard any dirty words and I did not even know that there was such a thing as "dirty words". It was as if I had picked upon the work "critz" - it was a meaningless collection of sounds to me.

I was questioned repeatedly about what I had said, but I had no clue what my parents were talking about. I was truly innocent: I had no idea that I had done anything wrong. I was guiltless and confused and upset and had no idea why my parents were so angry. Then. my mother reached out her arms to me, I though to hug me, and I ran to her, only to be turned around to face the sink and have a brush of Phels Naptha soap shoved into my mouth.

I had not provoked my parents. (Not that I never did, I earned my share of the spanking I received and I think most of them were appropriate) but not that morning and not in that way.) I never did it again, becasue even after it was all over, I still had no idea why this had been done to me or what I had done. I was guilty of having parents who way too quickly believed the worst of their children. This was not the only time they had quickly jumped to the wrong conclusions concerning the behavior of their children.

I'm sure that most children who have their mouths washed out with soap know exactly what they have done and knew the language was offensive when they chose to use it. I never did this it my children (now 23, 20, 17) and I would never recomend it be done to any child. I am a firm believer in discipline and believe there is a place for punishment, but becasue of my experience, I will never condone the use of that particular punishment.

 

[straightforward]

Wow...I didn't expect this question to turn into what it has. I was simply looking for information about hand soap in a childs mouth causing death.

bliz...I can understand your aversion to this form of punishment. I would never say that experience was something any parent should repeat.

I would also like to clarify...washing a childs mouth out with soap, to me, just involves getting a taste of it in their mouth. Whether it's getting it on their tongue or (for harsher violations) having to bite down on the bar. After a while they get to rinse their mouth out though. I would not hold my child down or go anywhere near the extremes I've heard some describe here. I might also add that any discipline administered to my children is done under control. Anger should not bring about discipline. That is why we have set rules and set consequences. There is no room for extremes this way. Anything that comes up other than those we have already thought of (kids always come up with something different) get talked over before we take action to discipline. Reaction is not the answer and fairness and justice are very important in our house.

 

[Andry]

Straightforward,

Please do not take this personally, as that is not the intent at all. And I'm not lashing out at you or anyone for that matter. I'm just sharing my thougths and experiences.

There are probably more than a million and one ways of disciplining a child and for me washing a mouth out with soap is not even a 1,000,002nd way. And before any parent yells out, "oh, but you don't know my child....", yes I know every child is different, unique, and special.

And while that may have worked for some of us when our parent did it to us, my thought is, just because they walked they walked 5 miles to school everyday, in the snow, barefooted....does that mean we have to follow suit?

I just cannot comprehend under what circumstances I would even contemplate washing my son's mouth out with soap. To me, that's just not in my toolbox or arsenal of discipline. And it's not because I have a 'lucky' kid or that I'm Solomon. Hardly. . And while I sincerely believe none of us here would ever want to hurt our children, to even ask the question of whether 'soap' can 'cause death' is just....well I gasp at the thought of even asking the question in the first place.

If the washing the mouth with soap is a consequence of our kid's swearing or saying a 'bad word', may I suggest that there are far better ways of correcting that behaviour than the soap thing. It takes a little bit more effort on our part, perhaps a bit more patience, and perhaps too a bit more educating ourselves. The key is not correcting the sympton - the swearing - but the cause - the why are they swearing to begin with. If it's because they're venting, there are ways to deal with that. If it's mimicking (maybe they heard us swear?), there are ways to deal with that also...etc etc.

Here's the trouble I have with many parents....they equate discipline as punishment (because probably that's what they have been taught also). So we became proficient at different ways of punishing which we think is disciplining.

God equates discipline with correction. How many parents know how to correct their kids? How many different ways of correcting do we know as opposed to the many different ways of punishing that we do know? If we don't know how to correct, then I suggest we learn.

My math teacher corrected my math problems. After I learnt how to do it, I didn't then get whacked on the head. And mistake after mistake, I was corrected until I learnt them. I don't recall ever being punished for that - in fact, I got some nice stickers . Then why do we as parents, after 'correcting' our kids, would ever want to punish them? Could it be because we didn't correct them because we don't have the skills, but instead punished them as a deterrent for next time?

Give them mercy...not getting what they deserve, and grace...getting what they don't deserve, instead of judgment. I found that grace and mercy triumphs over judgment everytime.

 

[straightforward]

And while I sincerely believe none of us here would ever want to hurt our children, to even ask the question of whether 'soap' can 'cause death' is just....well I gasp at the thought of even asking the question in the first place.

I heard what could be a rumor or myth and I am looking for information. I have to ask the question to find out if it is true or not. Why do you gasp at that?

It takes a little bit more effort on our part, perhaps a bit more patience, and perhaps too a bit more educating ourselves. The key is not correcting the sympton - the swearing - but the cause - the why are they swearing to begin with. If it's because they're venting, there are ways to deal with that. If it's mimicking (maybe they heard us swear?), there are ways to deal with that also...etc etc.

I have no problem in my house with swearing...or venting. The only time anyone in my house has had soap in their mouth was when they lied blatently! I know where they get that (but will not go into it here) and I would rather they learn that there are consequences for lies now when the consequence is soap in their mouth than later when the consequences are not so temporary and not just a bad taste in their mouth. Spankings do not work in this situation.

Here's the trouble I have with many parents....they equate discipline as punishment (because probably that's what they have been taught also). So we became proficient at different ways of punishing which we think is disciplining.

I think I equate punishment with consequences.

God equates discipline with correction.

Yet, hasn't he also created a world with consequences? I would ask you to remember the consequences of the garden for starters. There are plenty of other places in the Bible where God has followed through with consequences. The ultimate consequence would be hell...wouldn't it? According to the Bible it is not what goes into the mouth but what comes out of it. Lies are of the devil. I happen to believe their are much larger, more severe consequences for lies than soap in the mouth. It is my responsibility, as a parent, to do my best not to allow this to continue and not to allow it to become a habit...for the welfare of my children. As a side note...I have not had to impliment this consequence very often. I don't think I've used it for a couple of years now. But it is still there as a consequence and therefore I find it important to find out if this story about soap causing death is true or not. This is about the welfare of my children.

Give them mercy...not getting what they deserve, and grace...getting what they don't deserve, instead of judgment. I found that grace and mercy triumphs over judgment everytime.

They have seen mercy and they have seen grace (many a time). It is important that they see a full picture. Judgement is a part of that picture. But even judgement is no good if not inspired by God. We pray for guidance when we are faced with any matter concerning discipline. IMO, your attitude seems to be pretty judgemental.

 

[Andry]

Straightforward,

Please note again, there is no accusation. To you directly or indirectly, so I do not see the judgemental part of my post. However, if to you it seemed that way, I apologize. I respect and appreciate, well, you're 'straightforwardness'.

I heard what could be a rumor or myth and I am looking for information. I have to ask the question to find out if it is true or not. Why do you gasp at that?

If it's bath or hand soap, such as Dove, Camay, Dial, or even dish soap such as Palmolive, tasting some certainly won't cause death (unless a child is previously allergic to it). If it's Pinesol or even Mr. Clean, obviously, wouldn't recommend it.

My logic was, why would anyone want to consider anything as a form of punishment that can potentially cause death. That's why I gasped. A wooden spoon - low probability of causing death - may be useful in certain circumstances. A pellet gun - high probability of causing death - scratch off the list. Sorry if my understanding/assumption was wrong. In any case, note that I wasn't implying to you specifically.

I have no problem in my house with swearing...or venting. The only time anyone in my house has had soap in their mouth was when they lied blatently! I know where they get that (but will not go into it here) and I would rather they learn that there are consequences for lies now when the consequence is soap in their mouth than later when the consequences are not so temporary and not just a bad taste in their mouth. Spankings do not work in this situation.

Noted, won't go into that behaviour issue, but safe to assume our 'styles' differ (which is ok )

I think I equate punishment with consequences.

In linear logic, yes. And no 'buts' from me. Suffice to say our application to that would be different also.

Yet, hasn't he also created a world with consequences? I would ask you to remember the consequences of the garden for starters. There are plenty of other places in the Bible where God has followed through with consequences. The ultimate consequence would be hell...wouldn't it? .

When God so loved the world, was the world behaving correctly? No, the world was behaving very incorrectly, and very inappropriately. And this is how God disciplined the world: God so loved the world, that He took away their freedom, He sent them to their room, beat them severely. Of course not. God so loved the world that He gave. I learned the God-method of discipline – that it was difficult to do because it did not make sense to the natural mind, but I learned how to discipline through giving. Instead of taking my son and putting him in his room, but taking my son and having a few words of correction and about what the problem was, and then taking him to watch a movie. And I found that mercy triumphs over judgment every time. I found that grace will change more things than punishment ever will. And most people do not come to salvation because of the threat of God’s punishment, they come because of the enticement of God’s grace. And it’s grace that changed our lives - not punishment, threat, deterence, or judgment. IMO, we have to start to see these things, from a different perspective.

According to the Bible it is not what goes into the mouth but what comes out of it. Lies are of the devil. I happen to believe their are much larger, more severe consequences for lies than soap in the mouth. It is my responsibility, as a parent, to do my best not to allow this to continue and not to allow it to become a habit...for the welfare of my children. As a side note...I have not had to impliment this consequence very often. I don't think I've used it for a couple of years now. But it is still there as a consequence and therefore I find it important to find out if this story about soap causing death is true or not. This is about the welfare of my children.

Thank you for sharing that. There's no disagreement there as to what our responsibilities as parents are. That's the what and why as parents. It's the how that we differ (and again, with respect, I won't debate it here) .

They have seen mercy and they have seen grace (many a time). It is important that they see a full picture. Judgement is a part of that picture. But even judgement is no good if not inspired by God. We pray for guidance when we are faced with any matter concerning discipline. IMO, your attitude seems to be pretty judgemental.

That's wonderful they have seen mercy and grace (although I'm not here to condescend as to validate that for you - that's just my opinion). Judgement is part of that picture only if there's no repentance. Lastly, my attitude was qualified at the beginning of that post as to not being directed to you - they're from my thoughts and experience. If however you found that offensive, I sincerely apologize.

 

[Hatsumi]

Gosh, people! Have you ever looked at the ingredients in most soaps? It's full of synthetic chemicals! Why would you put them in your child's mouth? Sure, it probably won't kill them, but neither would tasting a dog turd.... would you make them do that? I don't even like letting my kids WASH with mainstream soaps, let alone eat it. If you insist on putting something nasty-tasting in your child's mouth as punishment, use something edible.

I can't post links yet, but if you go to abetterlife.net, they offer lots of natural personal care products. Shopnatural.com does, as well.

I don't mean to imply that "natural" soaps are edible. Just that they're better to use as soap.

 

[atrimbe]

Hi,
Formerly it was usual, but today soap is dangerous and with chemicals.
It's cruel. There are other ways to punish, if necessary.
atrimbe

 

[psychoceramic]

Wow...I didn't expect this question to turn into what it has. I was simply looking for information about hand soap in a childs mouth causing death.

.

i like the question.. and the hundreds of people i know that have had soap in thier mouths... none of them are worse for wear!!!

but thats the only info i can give you......

 

[jtroth]

I have never heard of anything about death from soap but I know as a kid growign up I seen my brother get it all the time (I was the good one.....lol). As I don't have kids yet but I have been babysitting since I was 9 adn I am in the long process of ttc. But one thing we used on my cousin who had a very bad mouth was viniger its less harmfel adn they dont' like the taste. We would but a little in a cup adn have him taste it after 2 times he stopped.