Washing a Child's Mouth out with soap?

[Meleas]

Please do not judge... My daughter has gotten a bit mouthy lately, and a friend recommended to wash her mouth out with soap. I personally didn't grow up with it, so I don't really have any experience... and when you look it up online... well let's just say there is a lot of people with weird fantasies... and I really rather not sort through that filth. Let me know what you think. And yes I realize I am a new member... I just typed in christian forum and top of the list was this one...

 

[Cute Tink]

I disagree with it. I think it sends the wrong message to the child. I think having an ongoing conversation about being respectful would go a lot further at reaching your goal.

 

[Odetta]

I've had people tell me that for when the child uses a cuss word. I've never done it. I've never been comfortable with using physical punishment as a parenting tool. My kids are well behaved for the most part, and when they do misbehave there is usually an underlying issue to address - fear and anxiety mostly, in our case, or ADHD hyperactivity needing an outlet. We worked through the cussing phase (thank you, classmates) just fine. I think it's more important to teach values so that they internalize the reasons for good behavior.

 

[JackRT]

As a father as a grandfather and as a retired teacher I would simply say "it is abusive".

 

[keith99]

What happens to the parent who depends on physical intimidation when their kid turns 16 and outweighs them by 20 pounds and if 50% stronger?

 

[Meleas]

I do not depend on physical intimidation, I depend on love and joy.

 

[jargew]

You may want to talk to her about why she's cussing and what you can do to help her stop.
What is in her heart, and how she treats other people is infinitely more important than a few vulgar words.
I can't imagine anything positive coming from sticking soap in a kids mouth.
However, leading by example will have a huge impact.

 

[pursuetruth]

Thank you so much for coming here and valuing our opinion! Like the rest, I call this abusive.
She will learn nothing other than you are wanting to hurt her and exert full control over her. To me as a little girl,
my Dad's punishments made me feel such immense shame... but the shame did not teach me a lesson. All it did was
tell my heart that "I am bad". And now I am a middle aged woman who still feels that way.
It sure is a struggle when our children misbehave, but there are so many other, kinder ways to instill that you do not want this behavior in your home. I would much prefer that you take away a privilege, like watching a particular TV show she enjoys, than ever consider washing her mouth out with soap.

Thanks again for coming to the forum, I hope you will stay and get to know us all!
Merry Christmas.

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

I think that using any sort of physical violence against a child is ultimately pathetic and is an indication of lousy parenting.

 

[RDKirk]

I don't know from your post what "mouthy" actually means, nor do I know her age or the total environment you provide for her or how her mother feels about it or how you think it should be done...and all of those are factors.

I got mine washed out with soap once. It amounted to my mother wiping my toothbrush with the soap instead of toothpaste.

 

[zippy2]

Thank you so much for coming here and valuing our opinion! Like the rest, I call this abusive.
She will learn nothing other than you are wanting to hurt her and exert full control over her. To me as a little girl,
my Dad's punishments made me feel such immense shame... but the shame did not teach me a lesson. All it did was
tell my heart that "I am bad". And now I am a middle aged woman who still feels that way.
It sure is a struggle when our children misbehave, but there are so many other, kinder ways to instill that you do not want this behavior in your home. I would much prefer that you take away a privilege, like watching a particular TV show she enjoys, than ever consider washing her mouth out with soap.

Thanks again for coming to the forum, I hope you will stay and get to know us all!
Merry Christmas.

All my Mom and Dad had to do was give me 'The Look'. Wow!

 

[Rygaku]

I wouldn't do it there is health risks with washing a child's mouth out with soap..

 

[My Shalom]

Please do not judge... My daughter has gotten a bit mouthy lately, and a friend recommended to wash her mouth out with soap. I personally didn't grow up with it, so I don't really have any experience... and when you look it up online... well let's just say there is a lot of people with weird fantasies... and I really rather not sort through that filth. Let me know what you think. And yes I realize I am a new member... I just typed in christian forum and top of the list was this one...

I think it is a form of child abuse and would suggest one who recommends that is one who hasn't tried it on themselves first.
Wash your own mouth out with soap and see how it feels.

Teaching a child how to behave by causing them pain like that is teaching them how to hate you for causing them pain.
Why is your child becoming mouthy lately? How about a good old fashioned sit down somewhere neutral where they can't be distracted by the computer, TV, or what have you?
A quiet place, like a church, where you can ask them these things and get to the bottom of the problem. Or at least make a start of it.

 

[jargew]

Anyone ever get the feeling non-Christians come to this forum to "bait" Christians into saying something outrageous?

 

[jargew]

I've had people tell me that for when the child uses a cuss word. I've never done it. I've never been comfortable with using physical punishment as a parenting tool. My kids are well behaved for the most part, and when they do misbehave there is usually an underlying issue to address - fear and anxiety mostly, in our case, or ADHD hyperactivity needing an outlet. We worked through the cussing phase (thank you, classmates) just fine. I think it's more important to teach values so that they internalize the reasons for good behavior.

Awesome post!

 

[Meleas]

Well mouthy means she is talking back/defiantly talking. I have sat her down and told her that it is not acceptable. For a fact I try to just talk with her at least once a day, where she can just tell me anything, without having to worry getting into any kind of trouble. It is her opportunity to talk with me as I want her to talk to her heavenly father. If something comes up that needs correction we also talk about that and work on it. I do not expect her to be perfect or anything as we are all human and strive to be our best. And trust me I have had people from any walk of life say ridiculous things to me (atheist, Christian, Muslim, Messianic Jews... can't say I know anyone from other religions though). And no it is not a bait question, it is an honest and sincere one. The biggest thing why I am asking really is that my wife had her mouth washed with soap (for bad language) as a child and wants to give it a try. I would like to know other people's thoughts without judgement.

 

[farout]

Please do not judge... My daughter has gotten a bit mouthy lately, and a friend recommended to wash her mouth out with soap. I personally didn't grow up with it, so I don't really have any experience... and when you look it up online... well let's just say there is a lot of people with weird fantasies... and I really rather not sort through that filth. Let me know what you think. And yes I realize I am a new member... I just typed in christian forum and top of the list was this one...[/QUOT

At seventy years of age, I can still remember those experiences. My dad yelling at me saying "that's not enough take a bigger bite." Ivory bar soap stings your mouth and the taste is so strong, even after brushing my teeth the soap bits still remained in the cracks of my teeth. I must have had my mouth washed out with Ivory soap about a dozen times. Those times made me hate my dad.

I almost forgot about those times until I saw this post about washing my mouth out with soap. I can tell you it brought back some very angry feelings. Later on in my forties my sister owned up to blaming me and that I was punished unfairly. That did not help much as the damage to my mental and spiritual health was healed some time ago. However as a child between 7 and 12 years old, it was pure hell for me.

May I say as strongly as possible as I can DON'T WASH OUT ANY CHILDS MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP! I want you to wash out your mouth first and then see if you think its a punishment you want your child to remember that you inflicted on them. Do I remember it as abusive? Yes beyond that it was cruel and should be something that NEVER should be used. I must add my dad made me chew and spit out the chunks of soap then take another big bit. This was repeated about four times. The soap lasted in my mouth for a bout 3/4 of an hour. The punishment made me dislike my dad and kept me at a distance until I went into the Navy at age 18. I am not saying this reaction would happen to you, but it won't bring closeness for a long time.

Any punishment given must be ended with a hug or some closeness explaining why you punished your child and then reaffirming your love and that you want a changed behavior and clearly stating how much you love him or her. This is so very vital to keep the love and respect between each other.

When a punishment involves physical pain you best keep your emotions in control. If you have not calmed and are in emotional anger, it is best to set the child down and give each other some space. After a few moments then state what they did wrong and listen to them. Then restate what they did wrong and say what the punishment is. Administer the punishment, and hug afterward, unless the child needs some time to cool down quietly. where you can watch them. Then try to reach out with love. Not all circumstance's can work exactly like this, but a general idea is what I mean. Sometimes I have included using Scripture with this so they see it's not just my idea of what's wrong, but God tells us what we are to do as well. I hopw this helps, as I have been as open about my life as I can.

 

[Rebecca12]

Please don't. My mother was adamantly against swearing, especially taking God's name in vain. It would result in our mouths washed out with soap. I hated it, didn't really understand it and resented it. If my feelings were hurt by other kid's words, my mother would say "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you." But if I used swear words that was a major sin. So, apparently words did have power. The inconsistency was jarring. By the time I was a teenage I had one of the worst potty mouths around. I eventually grew out of it, but I think her over reaction made it worse.

Reward the good manners and walk away from or isolate the bad.

 

[keith99]

Anyone ever get the feeling non-Christians come to this forum to "bait" Christians into saying something outrageous?

Either you have a reading problem since the OP is listed as Christian or you just broke the site rules. Which is it?

 

[jargew]

Either you have a reading problem since the OP is listed as Christian or you just broke the site rules. Which is it?

I've been reading older posts on other topics where newbies baited the forum with provocative questions, hoping to get sensational answers.
No need for aggressive responses...