I think it's more important to teach values
Along with good example, "of course" > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) I think of how Paul and Timothy and Silvanus share their way of ministering to the Thessalonians >
"as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children." (1 Thessalonians 2:11)
What I receive through this is
> exhorting means to encourage
> comfort has to do with satisfying a child that something is right
> charging can mean to confront what is wrong, by saying make sure you do not do that, make sure you are not that way, do not have that attitude; but also charging is challenging someone with what it is good to do, and the right way to be, and what attitude to have > make sure you have compassion, for example.
teaching them how to hate you for causing them pain.
If you have brought up a child, taking care of the child, then the child might not take a punishment to mean hate. Not all children take pain punishment the same way. I understood that if I could get my mouth washed with soap for bad language, then don't use bad language, simple as that
I didn't even come close to getting into if it meant someone hated me or not. My parents took care of us and did things we liked with us; so if there was risk of a spanking, we just didn't go there. But . . . though . . . when my parents weren't around . . .
Anyone ever get the feeling non-Christians come to this forum to "bait" Christians into saying something outrageous?
Yes, this can happen, Jargew. But reality can be different, for someone else. So, I try to give a sound answer which can help a person; also, we have others reading, and they might benefit from something helpful being said.
And no it is not a bait question,
I sensed you were being sincere. Soap washing was a reality in my days
I was surprised to read what you wrote, though; I thought soap washing was an "old foagie" thing. Maybe I remember > the teacher who talked about mouth soaping was older and seemed like a nasty controlling woman; so I did not respect the idea much, but I simply understood not to do what could get my mouth soaped. And I might have, even as a dumb kid, been able to understand that washing my mouth was not cleaning where those words came from
we did brush our teeth with soap.
I have; and then I was like, so what was the big deal using soap to punish?? Some things we are taught to fear, but they might not really matter.
If you want to punish them the use what she desires more than anything.
It can work, but I think of how Jesus says our heart will be where our treasure is. So, if we control someone by using something which is a selfish treasure, we could be helping the person to get more attached to what is not a really right treasure to have. But I read that using money control has actually had some effect, even on "uncontrollable" psychopaths, I think.