Was she wrong for asking this question?

[QuestionQuest74]

I went on a date with another Christian women and out of the blue she asked me do I touch myself ?
Im not masturbating but isn’t that too personal to be asking?
Or is that a good question

 

[Paidiske]

It's not even clear to me what she meant. She may have meant, do you like to be physically affectionate with someone you're dating? That would make more sense, in context.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

It's not even clear to me what she meant. She may have meant, do you like to be physically affectionate with someone you're dating? That would make more sense, in context.

She asked me do I touch. I don’t know why the question got altered

 

[Paidiske]

Oh, well, then... It's probably not something I'd ask on a first date, but I wouldn't say it's wrong to ask, as such. I guess it's up to you whether you want to answer, or refuse.

 

[com7fy8]

Why did she ask this? What else did you two say about this?

 

[tturt]

Maybe it was a previous boyfriend problem & she wanted to know up front.

But my only reply at that point would have been - Do you? Then she might have given an explanation.

 

[Bobber]

I went on a date with another Christian women and out of the blue she asked me do I touch myself ?
Im not masturbating but isn’t that too personal to be asking?
Or is that a good question

Hypothetically if it were true that somebody asked me this I'd tell them, they were way, way, way, way OUT OF LINE to ask such a thing! The nature of the question is just way too personal of a thing to ask and because I won't answer DON'T TAKE THAT as a that has to mean a YES either..

That would be the last time I'd date this person too. In my opinion they'd be out there on the fringe and I'd consider them in need of maturity. . I'd love this person with Christian love even pray that they'd come into a reasonable mental state but that's just it. If I'm going to date someone they'd have to at least have that.

 

[Soyeong]

I went on a date with another Christian women and out of the blue she asked me do I touch myself ?
Im not masturbating but isn’t that too personal to be asking?
Or is that a good question

I occasionally scratch my nose.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Hypothetically if it were true that somebody asked me this I'd tell them, they were way, way, way, way OUT OF LINE to ask such a thing! The nature of the question is just way too personal of a thing to ask and because I won't answer DON'T TAKE THAT as a that has to mean a YES either..

That would be the last time I'd date this person too. In my opinion they'd be out there on the fringe and I'd consider them in need of maturity. . I'd love this person with Christian love even pray that they'd come into a reasonable mental state but that's just it. If I'm going to date someone they'd have to at least have that.

Why would it be the last time u date that person ?

 

[seeking.IAM]

It is not the question that is wrong. It is the timing. The kinds of things we talk about vary according to our level of intimacy with the person to whom we are talking. For example, it is perfectly fine to tell a close friend, "I have a really bad case of hemorrhoids." But if you turn and say the same thing to the random chap you sit next to on the subway, it is at least awkward and maybe weird. The question asked would be a lot different if asked in an established relationship than on a first date. Its happening on a first date would make me watch out for other examples that might demonstrate if this person has a problem with boundaries, and if I can live with what I observe. Is this the only awkward conversation or the first of many, and if its a habit, am I on board for being a part of that?

 

[com7fy8]

Im not masturbating but isn’t that too personal to be asking?
Or is that a good question

If she meant that, and if you have not gotten to know each other very well already . . . I would say you need to get to know a person much more and better before taking her out.

But, like I asked, what did she mean?

In case she meant masturbation, someone could be trying to bring up such a subject in order to lead you into immoral activity. It could be an "If you do that, it's ok to do things with me" sort of a thing.

And that would be jumping too fast into physically close things when you have not first gotten blessed in sharing in Jesus . . . too isolated and not truly intimate!

And you have already been asking questions about physical contact with a woman; and what have you said or asked about developing spiritually and for maturing with a woman?

My opinion is you probably need to share with someone like her at church and in home groups and midweek service where she has mature women and couples helping her and you.

And this way you can share in a family way and not isolating on dates.

 

[BIBLE DON'T LIE]

I went on a date with another Christian women and out of the blue she asked me do I touch myself ?
Im not masturbating but isn’t that too personal to be asking?
Or is that a good question

 

[BIBLE DON'T LIE]

PEOPLE ARE BOLD THESE DAYS NO FILTER.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

It is not the question that is wrong. It is the timing. The kinds of things we talk about vary according to our level of intimacy with the person to whom we are talking. For example, it is perfectly fine to tell a close friend, "I have a really bad case of hemorrhoids." But if you turn and say the same thing to the random chap you sit next to on the subway, it is at least awkward and maybe weird. The question asked would be a lot different if asked in an established relationship than on a first date. Its happening on a first date would make me watch out for other examples that might demonstrate if this person has a problem with boundaries, and if I can live with what I observe. Is this the only awkward conversation or the first of many, and if its a habit, am I on board for being a part of that?

We have been talking to each other for a month but this is our first date and we was talking about our beliefs and she asked me that randomly

 

[Bobber]

Why would it be the last time u date that person ?

Because it would be an extremely unfair and unjust question to ask anyone. It would tell me they're way out there on the fringe and if they're going to be as weird as that what else would they do or ask. I'm not saying I'd hate them or be mad at them. I'd love them as a Christian should do towards everyone. ....I'm just saying no they're not for me. For dating I'd want someone at least to have rational thinking.

 

[com7fy8]

We have been talking to each other for a month but this is our first date and we was talking about our beliefs and she asked me that randomly

So, you had time to get to know her a bit, and you decided to go out with her. So, possibly you already had time to get to know her somewhat so you could understand what she meant.

So, why are you asking us?

I know someone who has been publicly accepted in ministry and is professionally successful. But she has been controlling and a charmer, even fishing for guys in bars, it seems. So, how much do I need to ask other people about if she is dating or marriage material for me?

God's word says "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you", in 1 Peter 5:3.

So, in case someone is using control and charm to use and manage people . . . God's word is clear about if this person is functioning in how the Bible says to relate in love.

I can see how I was not attracted to her by love. So much brought my attention to her, not to Jesus. I was blinded by what is not Jesus and loving any and all people.

 

[linux.poet]

It’s too personal to be asking out in public. If it’s in private, or in a semiprivate location like a park or a car, it probably means that she likes you and wants to know if you’re marriage material.

In public, she might be bent on embarrassing you. Either way, be careful with her because you’ve probably turned her on, and her desires may be producing Freudian slips.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

It’s too personal to be asking out in public. If it’s in private, or in a semiprivate location like a park or a car, it probably means that she likes you and wants to know if you’re marriage material.

In public, she might be bent on embarrassing you.

Either way, be careful with her because you’ve probably turned her on, and her desires may be producing Freudian slips.

Why you said I turned her on and I might be producing freudian slips ?
What does Freudian slips mean ?

 

[seeker2122]

I would have answered, "for all have fallen short of the glory of God".

 

[linux.poet]

Why you said I turned her on and I might be producing freudian slips ?
What does Freudian slips mean ?

She’s asking you a sexual question. Freudian slips are things that people accidentally say that reveal what is on their mind.

Basically, I think you aroused her a little bit so a sexual question slipped out of her mouth.