Was She Being Subtle?

[Waddler]

So tonight, I dropped into a restaurant for dinner (Chipotle, if it matters). I was just about finished with my meal when a pirate lass happened by, because it was Halloween. She told me she liked my penguin costume as she came in, and I thanked her.

After she got her food, she dropped by my table and said, "I would join you but it's so loud in here." I agreed it was loud and said, "I understand. Have a good night." She walked out, and by then I finished dinner, so I bused my table and left. I took a moment to gather my thoughts for my next errand (location, time, etc.), but a thought occurred to me later.

Was she being subtle about wanting me to join her outside? It was a cold night, but not entirely out of the question. I didn't jump up and follow her like a puppy because 1) I'm not desperate and 2) that would be creepy and 3) I didn't think anything of it at the time. It just strikes me as odd for someone to say, "I would join you, but it's loud in here."

If she was being subtle, I wish she wouldn't have been, because her attractiveness aside, her statement has been twisting my analytical side around for several hours. Why drop by someone's table and express an interest in talking to them while also providing an excuse for not doing so?

Yes, she was pretty, and it seemed like she'd be a good conversationalist, but I figure if I see her again, great. If not, oh well. I just wish I knew what she was getting at, mostly because something tells me she was being subtle about something, but I'll be hanged if I know what it was.

 

[Radagast]

After she got her food, she dropped by my table and said, "I would join you but it's so loud in here."

Ummm. That's not subtle. The only way that could be clearer is if she drew you a diagram.

 

[Waddler]

Ummm. That's not subtle. The only way that could be clearer is if she drew you a diagram.

Apparently I need the diagram. And I was outside within two minutes of her leaving the restaurant. If I was supposed to follow her, why didn't she stick around?

 

[Radagast]

Apparently I need the diagram.

So do I, most of the time.

I presume that the desired response to "it's noisy" was "so where should we go?"

 

[Waddler]

So do I, most of the time.

I presume that the desired response to "it's noisy" was "so where should we go?"

Ach, I wouldn't even think of that.

 

[Citanul]

Ach, I wouldn't even think of that.

I probably wouldn't have either. At least not until a couple of hours later when I'd realise that's what I should have said.

 

[Waddler]

Someone sent me a message to provide some helpful feedback. Unfortunately I blew the opportunity to talk to this pirate lass, but I'm praying God will give me a second chance to run into her. If not, it's not the end of the world.

I do wish people would be less subtle with one another, though I can certainly understand why we're shy about even saying hello to someone. There's a lot of risk there.

 

[blackribbon]

I don't think that was subtle. She was inviting you to eat somewhere else. She probably didn't say it more directly because 1) she was asking you in a way to be cute/funny/and not overtly forward 2) it saved her ego if you said "no thank you". Women are discouraged from telling men directly that they are interested...and often are turned down if they are direct. She didn't stick around because you didn't show any interest in her and that is sort of embarrassing after you put yourself out there. She probably is also a bit socially awkward because she was willing to approach you and ask you to eat with her.

Next time, if a woman talks to you of the blue ... take a minute to consider what her words mean. If she she is asking you if you know where the bathroom is and is hanging on to three kids or is over 60, she probably just needs directions. If she is talking about anything else and is near your age, consider that she might be interested and trying to tell you without being too forward. Society does not reward women for walking up to strange men and saying "you are kind of cute, do you want to eat with me"....so they have to say the same thing indirectly or eat alone.

There is also a slight chance that she was slightly inebriated because that was a pretty bold and forward conversation she attempted to have with you. I kind of admire that.

 

[Paulie079]

So tonight, I dropped into a restaurant for dinner (Chipotle, if it matters). I was just about finished with my meal when a pirate lass happened by, because it was Halloween. She told me she liked my penguin costume as she came in, and I thanked her.

After she got her food, she dropped by my table and said, "I would join you but it's so loud in here." I agreed it was loud and said, "I understand. Have a good night." She walked out, and by then I finished dinner, so I bused my table and left. I took a moment to gather my thoughts for my next errand (location, time, etc.), but a thought occurred to me later.

Was she being subtle about wanting me to join her outside? It was a cold night, but not entirely out of the question. I didn't jump up and follow her like a puppy because 1) I'm not desperate and 2) that would be creepy and 3) I didn't think anything of it at the time. It just strikes me as odd for someone to say, "I would join you, but it's loud in here."

If she was being subtle, I wish she wouldn't have been, because her attractiveness aside, her statement has been twisting my analytical side around for several hours. Why drop by someone's table and express an interest in talking to them while also providing an excuse for not doing so?

Yes, she was pretty, and it seemed like she'd be a good conversationalist, but I figure if I see her again, great. If not, oh well. I just wish I knew what she was getting at, mostly because something tells me she was being subtle about something, but I'll be hanged if I know what it was.

It matters immensely. The fact that this woman wanted to eat Chipotle with you.....next time you see her, marry her on the spot.

 

[Saucy]

Here is what you do to rectify the situation. Go back to the same Chipotle wearing the same penguin suit. She'll be back eventually.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

It matters immensely. The fact that this woman wanted to eat Chipotle with you.....next time you see her, marry her on the spot.

If this isn't the truth though.

 

[blackribbon]

She even was willing to buy her own food before requesting his company.....

 

[blackribbon]

Buy a little plastic penguin and pirate to put on the table with you the next times you eat there....only she will know what it means and maybe she will say hi again.

 

[Waddler]

I think she had anxiety because after both comments she made, she turned away before I could fully reply. If I see her again soon I'll be direct. "Hey, it was so loud in there I didn't catch your name. I'm Rob." *She gives her name.* "It's nice to meet you, (name). Do you have time for lunch/dinner/second breakfast/elevenses?"

 

[sundewgrower]

She was trying to get your focused attention. However, she'd feel weird if more direct, and wanted to save face--if she acted too interested it'd be desperate, and not work either.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

The woman originally wasn't the subtle one; it was the snake. And remember what happened to Adam afterward. Watch out for the forbidden fruit.

 

[sundewgrower]

The woman originally wasn't the subtle one; it was the snake. And remember what happened to Adam afterward. Watch out for the forbidden fruit.

If it seems tantalizing and you're "curious"--then say you're busy and go elsewhere... Curiosity did kill the cat IMHO.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

If it seems tantalizing and you're "curious"--then say you're busy and go elsewhere... Curiosity did kill the cat IMHO.

you've got to be kitten me.

 

[Waddler]

The woman originally wasn't the subtle one; it was the snake. And remember what happened to Adam afterward. Watch out for the forbidden fruit.

You're over-analyzing, I think. All I said was I saw a pretty woman and would like to get to know her better. That doesn't mean Satan's going to pop up and try to open Pandora's box.

If it seems tantalizing and you're "curious"--then say you're busy and go elsewhere... Curiosity did kill the cat IMHO.

So if I'm interested in getting to know her, go elsewhere? Are you not interested in your girlfriend? I'm confused what you're getting at.

 

[blackribbon]

You will have to take the lead in conversation next time you see her. Take the risk even if she seems a little aloft because she is worried she was too forward. I do hope you see her again...and let us know if you do