Was She Being Subtle?

[sundewgrower]

You're over-analyzing, I think. All I said was I saw a pretty woman and would like to get to know her better. That doesn't mean Satan's going to pop up and try to open Pandora's box.



So if I'm interested in getting to know her, go elsewhere? Are you not interested in your girlfriend? I'm confused what you're getting at.

Ah no just if she invites you to her place it's best to carry on elsewhere.

 

[Waddler]

You will have to take the lead in conversation next time you see her. Take the risk even if she seems a little aloft because she is worried she was too forward. I do hope you see her again...and let us know if you do

With my luck I'll see her and blurt out, "Yo ho ho!" which, lacking context, might not go over so well.

Seriously though, I think kindness and honesty will go over well, if she's the kind of person I'd want to have as a friend. I have a lot of insecurities, but sometimes it's comforting to see the person you're talking to isn't a smooth operator who you might worry would hold you to the same standard.

I used to build up people in my mind, but I'm focused on the fact I don't know this Ladybird. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm going to be dropping by Chipotle tonight around the same time to see if she shows up.

 

[Waddler]

Ah no just if she invites you to her place it's best to carry on elsewhere.

That escalated quickly. I'm just keen on making a new friend and seeing what happens. It's not even going to approach "boom chicka bow wow" territory. I figure I'll get her name first, at least, before we start planning the wedding.

/Tongue-in-cheek

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

How are you going to track her down?

 

[blackribbon]

Ah no just if she invites you to her place it's best to carry on elsewhere.

Why? As men you can't control yourself in a person's home? She might have roommates ... but it the weather is cold, often our homes are the only option to really go if you are bothered by a lot of noise and actually like being warm. This is someone that he barely knows. I suspect that even eating Chipote's on her coffeetable while not watching Netflix and chitchatting would be a fairly harmless activity for most adults. I suspect he is also safe from her getting naked and attacking him.

 

[blackribbon]

How are you going to track her down?

He already said he hopes to bump into her again at the same place and now he will be watching for her.

 

[MehGuy]

Yeah there are many women on second thought might have had a thing for me.. then again a week or so ago I was listening to an evolutionary psychology themed podcast that said men on average have evolved to look for any cues from women as a flirt when the situation often isn't.

I don't think I have it as bad as some men. When hanging out with friends I do roll my eyes whenever they claim a woman is "hitting on them".

 

[Servant68]

The takeaway from this is to wear a penguin costume in public more often...

 

[blackribbon]

Yeah there are many women on second thought might have had a thing for me.. then again a week or so ago I was listening to an evolutionary psychology themed podcast that said men on average have evolved to look for any cues from women as a flirt when the situation often isn't.

I don't think I have it as bad as some men. When hanging out with friends I do roll my eyes whenever they claim a woman is "hitting on them".

If they believe a woman is hitting on them AND they act on it, then I'd believe that they believe it. I suspect more men underestimate who might actually be giving clues that they are interested.

 

[Waddler]

The takeaway from this is to wear a penguin costume in public more often...

 

[MehGuy]

If they believe a woman is hitting on them AND they act on it, then I'd believe that they believe it. I suspect more men underestimate who might actually be giving clues that they are interested.

That's not really my experience among other men. Not trying to sound like a male feminist or anything, but I can sympathize with women who complain about men viewing every little smile they make as some kind of "invitation". Although what doesn't' make me a feminist is I think it's most likely hardwired in men, and like many things it's shallow to blame annoying trends regarding male behavior on concepts like the patriarchy. Lol.

Evolutionary psychology story really is, men don't give birth and thus contribute less energy regarding spreading their genetics. Makes sense that we're more hardwired to be jumpy regarding spreading our seed. Lol.

 

[sundewgrower]

Why? As men you can't control yourself in a person's home? She might have roommates ... but it the weather is cold, often our homes are the only option to really go if you are bothered by a lot of noise and actually like being warm. This is someone that he barely knows. I suspect that even eating Chipote's on her coffeetable while not watching Netflix and chitchatting would be a fairly harmless activity for most adults. I suspect he is also safe from her getting naked and attacking him.

I can definitely control myself--fiance in tow and nothing has happened even though the future proposition is totally contrary.

You are correct--sometimes it's hard to find a good public place to hang out and if she had the gumption to invite him over for a movie it'd be pretty cool.

Why? As men you can't control yourself in a person's home? She might have roommates ... but it the weather is cold, often our homes are the only option to really go if you are bothered by a lot of noise and actually like being warm. This is someone that he barely knows. I suspect that even eating Chipote's on her coffeetable while not watching Netflix and chitchatting would be a fairly harmless activity for most adults. I suspect he is also safe from her getting naked and attacking him.

I have had poorer experiences and don't trust people so quickly.
But yes overall that sounds pretty good and reasonable..

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Ah no just if she invites you to her place it's best to carry on elsewhere.

Aren't you all getting just a tad ahead of yourselves? All of this relies on the massive assumption he will ever see her again, and that may very well never be the case.

 

[sundewgrower]

Aren't you all getting just a tad ahead of yourselves? All of this relies on the massive assumption he will ever see her again, and that may very well never be the case.

Eh I skimmed the topic. So really I didn't over think as much as I dropped into this thread too fast and left too much behind.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

It's not your fault. I just get the feeling that it's being assumed in here by everyone that he will see the girl again...

 

[Waddler]

It's not your fault. I just get the feeling that it's being assumed in here by everyone that he will see the girl again...

As much as I'd like to see her again, it's true I might not. What I find interesting is how some assume I want to see her again to pursue something romantic. I'm just interested in getting to know her before I get my expectations up.

 

[Waddler]

No pirate lady tonight. That's how it seems to go with the women who take an interest in me. I meet her, she's subtle (to me), a friend comes along to say she basically drew it out for me in crayon, and then I never see her again.

Given that pattern, I don't expect to see her again. If I do, great. If not, nothing's changed. I do feel a bit depressed about it, which is silly. For all I know we wouldn't have gotten along. But we might've, so...hello, amaretto, my old friend...

 

[blackribbon]

No pirate lady tonight. That's how it seems to go with the women who take an interest in me. I meet her, she's subtle (to me), a friend comes along to say she basically drew it out for me in crayon, and then I never see her again.

Given that pattern, I don't expect to see her again. If I do, great. If not, nothing's changed. I do feel a bit depressed about it, which is silly. For all I know we wouldn't have gotten along. But we might've, so...hello, amaretto, my old friend...

Most people don't eat out at the same place two nights in a row. Your best bet is to go next Tuesday in the off chance she eats there on a regular schedule. However, mostly people eat at places like that sporadically so just keep your eyes open when you do eat there but don't go more often than you normally would. Chances are that you won't see her again, but it never hurts to start paying attention to the people around you. You might just meet someone different with that awareness.

 

[Waddler]

Most people don't eat out at the same place two nights in a row. Your best bet is to go next Tuesday in the off chance she eats there on a regular schedule. However, mostly people eat at places like that sporadically so just keep your eyes open when you do eat there but don't go more often than you normally would. Chances are that you won't see her again, but it never hurts to start paying attention to the people around you. You might just meet someone different with that awareness.

That was my thought. If she also dislikes loud places, then she probably doesn't frequent that location often, because they make it their goal to stifle conversation with the music they blare over the speakers. Chipotle did half-priced burritos on Halloween, which is the only reason I went in the first place.

I'm not going to haunt the joint, but I will keep my eyes open for specials, because 1) it's Chipotle and 2) she might show up again. But ultimately, you're right in saying this was a learning experience in how not to be dense. I just hope it's not another four years before I catch a Ladybird's eye.

 

[blackribbon]

That was my thought. If she also dislikes loud places, then she probably doesn't frequent that location often, because they make it their goal to stifle conversation with the music they blare over the speakers. Chipotle did half-priced burritos on Halloween, which is the only reason I went in the first place.

I'm not going to haunt the joint, but I will keep my eyes open for specials, because 1) it's Chipotle and 2) she might show up again. But ultimately, you're right in saying this was a learning experience in how not to be dense. I just hope it's not another four years before I catch a Ladybird's eye.

If you caught this Ladybird's eye, you are probably catching other women's eye...they just aren't being as obvious and forward as this woman was. Start people watching instead of turning inward when you are out. You might not find someone but you might learn a lot more about body language and how other people think, act, and react. People watching can be an interesting learning activity.