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wanting it now
- Thread starter chocolateloverjen
- Start date
just be patient and think about all of the things a baby needs, all the time a baby needs, how much a baby costs, etc. having a baby looks a lot easier than it really is. i worked in a daycare and was in charge of the babies. once you feed them then you have to put them to sleep (which usually isn't that easy). then when they wake up u have to change their diaper. and then 20 mins later you have to change their diaper again cause they went #2. then if they're sick you have to make them take medicine that they hate. then you're playin with them and they throw up all over your good shirt.....and it just keeps going
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jesuslivesinme
Proud Soldier
I totally agree, and you're only...17...you've got time, God wants you to have a baby (if its his will) in HIS time, and under normal circumstances...eg.: marriage, able to support financially, mentally etc. time will come dont worry, you ll be happy you waited!ChildOfGod20 said:
god bless
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Go to the hospital and watch someone give birth, or watch it on the Discovery channel...that'll cease your desires REAL quick 
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bluenovember said:Go to the hospital and watch someone give birth, or watch it on the Discovery channel...that'll cease your desires REAL quick
oh i know! every time i watch someone giving birth on the discovery channel i tell myself i'm never having kids! lol
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JesusWasn'tWhite
Well-Known Member
You're a child. You're a young woman, but you're still a child. What sense does it make for a child to be raising a child?
Talk to a teenage mother.
Talk to a teenager who was born by a teenage mother.
It's hard.
It's really rough.
My sister-in-law (then my brother's girlfriend) got pregnant, married 2 months after she found out, and had the baby 7 months later. It's tough. They are living with us now because they can't afford to live on their own, while my brother is in college and they both work.
Even if you did work, and you could *financially provide for this baby, when would you ever see him/her!?
That's the biggest, heartfelt complaint from my sister-in-law. She goes to work at one job at 7 in the morning before her daughter is up, she works there until 3, has another job at 3:30 until 9pm. By then, the baby is sleeping and sometimes she doesn't see her daughter for 48 hours because she's working and the baby is sleeping. How heartbreaking is that?
It sucks. Really.
You may want a baby. I want a baby. But I don't want one now because I have seen how much hurt and pain it causes not only the woman and man, but also the families of those two people. It hurt *me* because my brother was irresponsible. We are all making sacrifices for his irresponsible decisions/mistakes.
My family is great and we are really supportive of my brother, his wife and daughter, but they all realize that they are an exception to the rule. Not many young families, with babies conceived out of wedlock, get as much support as they do.
I know this is a lot of talk from me, and that it may come off as harsh, but I don't want anyone to *willingly* put themselves in these positions. It's not healthy for the baby, or the other people involved.
Why do you want a baby so bad?
If it's to have something to love, then do something else.
Work in a group home, or a nursing home, or a rehab center for women with drug babies. Work with babies. It can satisfy the desire to love someone, even if you think it will make you want children of your own more.
Being a parent is about being selfless, you could work on preparing yourself to be a parent when the time is right.
Talk to a teenage mother.
Talk to a teenager who was born by a teenage mother.
It's hard.
It's really rough.
My sister-in-law (then my brother's girlfriend) got pregnant, married 2 months after she found out, and had the baby 7 months later. It's tough. They are living with us now because they can't afford to live on their own, while my brother is in college and they both work.
Even if you did work, and you could *financially provide for this baby, when would you ever see him/her!?
That's the biggest, heartfelt complaint from my sister-in-law. She goes to work at one job at 7 in the morning before her daughter is up, she works there until 3, has another job at 3:30 until 9pm. By then, the baby is sleeping and sometimes she doesn't see her daughter for 48 hours because she's working and the baby is sleeping. How heartbreaking is that?
It sucks. Really.
You may want a baby. I want a baby. But I don't want one now because I have seen how much hurt and pain it causes not only the woman and man, but also the families of those two people. It hurt *me* because my brother was irresponsible. We are all making sacrifices for his irresponsible decisions/mistakes.
My family is great and we are really supportive of my brother, his wife and daughter, but they all realize that they are an exception to the rule. Not many young families, with babies conceived out of wedlock, get as much support as they do.
I know this is a lot of talk from me, and that it may come off as harsh, but I don't want anyone to *willingly* put themselves in these positions. It's not healthy for the baby, or the other people involved.
Why do you want a baby so bad?
If it's to have something to love, then do something else.
Work in a group home, or a nursing home, or a rehab center for women with drug babies. Work with babies. It can satisfy the desire to love someone, even if you think it will make you want children of your own more.
Being a parent is about being selfless, you could work on preparing yourself to be a parent when the time is right.
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bluenovember said:Go to the hospital and watch someone give birth, or watch it on the Discovery channel...that'll cease your desires REAL quick
i have done and i want to be a midwife,im hopeing to get into uni to train to be one. i think its a miricle.
i suppose i want one because its something you and your partner make together, a whole new life. and this new life depends on you and needs you. I want to care for a baby.
I probably sound crazy, i juts think it is amazing. I cant wait to have children, I will wait, i want to do it properly-when married. I just want my life to zooom fast to that point of my life,.
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Baggy
The ONE BAGGYMAN for JENGIRL
I know you want one but really it is not the right time for you, you may think you are ready but actually you may not be facing up to all the bad points and blinding yourself with the good points, you should be patient and wait for the right time and enjoy the journey and the relationship as there is much more to a relationship than children, and saying you want a child so much at this point is like saying that the relationship is just a means to an end - the end being the baby, i know you dont mean it like this but it can come across this way, and that can belittle the relationship.
I love you honey, be patient, for us, i know you love me so whats the problem? let our relationship grow, cherish what we have, xxxxxx
I love you honey, be patient, for us, i know you love me so whats the problem? let our relationship grow, cherish what we have, xxxxxx
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Baggy said:
well im glad your been honest with me.
all i can say is sorry.
i cant help the way i feel.
the way is feel is this: I LOVE YOU! I love you so much.
i know what i want to say to you but im not going to cos i dont know how you will take it, i dont know what i want to say. i dont want to put you off. i just LOVE the thought that we could create a new life together and that the creation we would bring into the world would be a part of our relationship. I dont know. I ll just shut uo, its just the last thing i wanna do is shut all my emotions up inside (liek i did at school) and get depressed. Then i wouldnt be honest.
Understand?
Ill shut up now n e way.
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~Beauty_from_Pain~
By His grace, For His glory
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I agree. 17 is too young. Why not take one of those classes where you have to take care of a doll that functions as a child for a few weeks. It's a great tool to help women females (and males...lol) realize how much work kids are, etc....
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Starling2003 said:
lol, ive had one of them but only for like a night-which was lucky. some had to have them over the weekend. im feelign alot better now about having kids later. my career is important to me.
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I know how ya feel, babies are sweet and cuddly and just plain adorable, but the truth of that matter is...thats just what you see from the outside, I was a 17 yr old mom...and I regret...now at 26 I realize I had no life, from 17-24 and really even now I am consumed with my child even though he's older...I missed proms and all the fun things....it's o.k to want children but keep it in perspective....I wish someone would have been honest with me and talked to me...I probably would have kept my legs closed or at least try to prevent the pregnancy....so for now, visit your local hospital and become a nursery volunteer some places look for people to just rock the babies....that helps get some of that baby energy out...holding a baby at 4 p.m is a lot different than holding your own at 2 a.m while he or she's hollering you have had no sleep and still trying to just have fun and be a teenager....
bye...
bye...
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tas25 said:
thankyou so much for that.
you dont have to answer but did your boyfriend support you? and is he still with you? just out of interest.
God Bless
xxx
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Seriously keep thtat for later, you will have so many years.
My best friend was going to many the guy she has a baby to. Needless to say she hasn't. But had trials on the way to having him. 3 months early he came and was very sick... all at 18... You really want your life destroyed like that?
Satisfy yourself in god jen. I know how cliched it sounds, but i've seen over the past while that you need it. God can give you everything.. Love and life itself. Don't push him away when you want otherthings.
My best friend was going to many the guy she has a baby to. Needless to say she hasn't. But had trials on the way to having him. 3 months early he came and was very sick... all at 18... You really want your life destroyed like that?
Satisfy yourself in god jen. I know how cliched it sounds, but i've seen over the past while that you need it. God can give you everything.. Love and life itself. Don't push him away when you want otherthings.
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Inperfected said:
ive been having alot of thoughts lately n e way. Ive become close to God agen and asked him about things. I was getting further away from God, like i didnt have the time for him and i was depressed etc. lots of stuff has happend lately anyway (with home) and now im more concentrating on my career and i want to move out of my home. Im going to in summer-move to manchester. If i dont get into uni im moving out anyway and will work full time to keep a flat up and running.
alot of stuff has happend
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well I think he wanted to stay, and my parents where pushing marriage, I might not have been the wisest in the world but I knew that wouldnt be the right move.....in the end the stress of pregnancy was to much for him and he became obnoxious, see he still wanted to live like a young free guy he would buy things for his car, and there I was needing maternity clothes and other essentials...he just didn't get it....so after just getting fed up he left...he tried to come around but he just couldn't do it...his heart just wasnt there....I had my baby alone....my mom was there but I still felt so alone and isolated, I didn't want to seem happy because then I knew people would think I did it on purpose which hindsight, I believe I may have....subconciously because like you I wanted a baby, something to take care of that was mines...and boy I know now, he's mines, the whole nine yards.....so pray and don't let your heart decieve you into thinking your ready...pm if you want...I was 17 once
bye
bye
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CrystalBrooke
I'm almost positive I don't care what you think
i wouldn't say that it would destroy your life, im 5 weeks away from giving birth to my little girl and I don't feel as if my life is over...however it's not something that I would have chosen. It's very stressful getting everything ready, not to mention i still go to school and I work too so I'm very exhausted so when Ben and i do have time to spend together all i want to do is sleep. if you ever have these feelings again just pm me and i'll remind you of how stressful it is at this age.
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I don't think having a baby will ruin your life. You're 17, in less than a year you'll be able to get married if you want to. I'd suggest waiting until marriage to have a baby , but I'm sure when the time comes you'll be a great mom. I'm 18 and just got married and we're planning on having kids within the next 2 years. Women in my family all have bad problems with pregnancy and childbirth, so I want to have my kids young and be able to be young with them. Pray about it and ask God to give you the patience to wait for HIS time in your life, and to send you someone who will want to be a dad as much as you want to be a mom. Good luck with everything!
, but I'm sure when the time comes you'll be a great mom. I'm 18 and just got married and we're planning on having kids within the next 2 years. Women in my family all have bad problems with pregnancy and childbirth, so I want to have my kids young and be able to be young with them. Pray about it and ask God to give you the patience to wait for HIS time in your life, and to send you someone who will want to be a dad as much as you want to be a mom. Good luck with everything!
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