Want to move on

[Boracayangel]

Hi😊I lost my husband in Jan 2013 a few days before my birthday.He was 51 when he died of NPC and I was 41. I loved him very much . He was my first and last boyfriend. We were together for 19 years. In 2010, after serving as a volunteer in africa, i found out that he betrayed me. He never had the courage to admit his mistake. That made me hate him so much. My deep love for him turned into a deep hatred. Even when I went to the US in 2012r, his infidelity was always on my mind. I have been praying to our Dear Lord to help me forget what my husband did to me so I could forgive him as well and move on with my life. I want to be happy again.)

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Well I can't tell you "how" to forgive but it is a choice. He is gone now and maybe he should have told you but it's too late for that now. The only one you are hurting is yourself by holding on to this "hatred". God loved us while we were yet sinner's and He died on a cross for US. We have to be able to forgive or Jesus cannot forgive us for our sins.
I would pray and tell God your feelings and tell Him you are giving it to Him because you can't handle it anymore.

 

[aussieangel]

Hi😊I lost my husband in Jan 2013 a few days before my birthday.He was 51 when he died of NPC and I was 41. I loved him very much . He was my first and last boyfriend. We were together for 19 years. In 2010, after serving as a volunteer in africa, i found out that he betrayed me. He never had the courage to admit his mistake. That made me hate him so much. My deep love for him turned into a deep hatred. Even when I went to the US in 2012r, his infidelity was always on my mind. I have been praying to our Dear Lord to help me forget what my husband did to me so I could forgive him as well and move on with my life. I want to be happy again.)

Am so sorry your late husband betrayed you and that you were so hurt as a result..None of us really knows how we would feel unless we go through a similar experience but I really truly hope that God will help you to find a way to push through those feelings of hate and turn them into feelings of forgiveness..God bless you,,

 

[nicolacov]

Boracayangel, hey. I know somewhat how you feel. I had a similar situation and was [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed with my husband even after he died. There are more of us out there. In fact i ran into a lady when i was getting my car fixed, The Lord told me to tell her my testimony. She listened! She then let me know that her husband had just died and she had the same feelings that i did! You are not alone! We understand and are here if you want to vent. Please vent cause you need to let it out before it consumes you. That's partly what we are here for. But also keep praying! Keep casting your cares on God. ALL OF THEM! Cry out to God! He is listening. He is right there. He has not left you. Right now He is carrying you, but His arms are so soft you can't feel them! |He is going to bring you through.Trust Him.

 

[nicolacov]

forgive me i didn't realize that particular word was a curse word. I was very angry with my husband.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

After someone is gone, even though you cannot express your anger to them in person, you can still yell at them or tell them whatever it is that you want to say to them. It could be beneficial to you. God is always with us even when we don't feel Him there and He certainly understands betrayal and feeling alone. All the people in the Bible that put Jesus on that cross, alot of them were Christians, but because Christ did not do things their way, they turned against Him and wanted Him crucified.
The devil would want you to remain angry, and in that anger be angry at God too, since He allowed it, and in some cases even turning our backs on God. That is what the devil would want. That's not what God wants and now that your husband is gone, I am confident that he is sorry, but he is not here to express that to you. It wasn't fair, but God allowed it for a reason and we always have the choice to keep it and let it ruin us, or to release it and use the experience for a positive in the future. And in the end it doesn't hurt him, it only hurts you. I would encourage you to let all of your feelings out, whatever you need to do, so you don't carry this around and bring it into other relationships in your life.

 

[praised72]

I am praying that you will release your feelings and let God give you peace to go on with your life. That part is over. My Husband confess that he was unfaithful to me a month after we married 29 years ago. He was near death from Lung Cancer and eventually passed away on July 27, 2013. I wish he hadn't said anything because it did was bring on more questions as to his faithfulness. I pray everyday that the Lord will give me peace, because in the grand scheme of things, he was very good to me and very good for me. We cannot carry the negative in our hearts. We have to move on.

 

[manny101]

Dear Sister in Christ betrayal is an horrible thing - it destroys your self-worth, dignity, stability and dreams. I am sorry you are in this position and my heart and prayers are with you. I have been there. It took several years to finally get over, but with the grace of God it happened. At this time I want to love again and to dream again and this is my prayer for you. In Jesus name Father put your loving arms around her and let her feel your love and give her a new sense of purpose and total forgiveness towards him, amen

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

Hi😊I lost my husband in Jan 2013 a few days before my birthday.He was 51 when he died of NPC and I was 41. I loved him very much . He was my first and last boyfriend. We were together for 19 years. In 2010, after serving as a volunteer in africa, i found out that he betrayed me. He never had the courage to admit his mistake. That made me hate him so much. My deep love for him turned into a deep hatred. Even when I went to the US in 2012r, his infidelity was always on my mind. I have been praying to our Dear Lord to help me forget what my husband did to me so I could forgive him as well and move on with my life. I want to be happy again.)

You may not be able to forget what was done to you. However, forgiving him and asking God to take this burden off your heart will help you to move on.

 

[hopesprings]

Oh, this is sad. I recognize those feelings very well! I agree that forgiveness is key for Christians...I wouldn't expect to "feel" forgiving, though, for a time. Betrayal brings grief--for myself I found that I have experienced all the symptoms of grief (bargaining, anger (rage!), denial, depression) and am now just coming into acceptance of the situation. My journey has taken nearly three years; for some it may be shorter, others longer. It's not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.