Wait? What's Wrong With it?

[Jakkaru]

Not sure if this so much belongs in the question thread or here but who goes.

I had a good buddy of mine a few days ago, Christian but nice to me for not being one and what not. Now I always liked the guy becuase evn though he is a Christian, he is not exactly afraid to talk..well..like a teenage guy. ANywho we got to talking about things and a mentioned BDSM and how I am kind in to it. BOOM! This guy explodes on a religious rant towards me. Now this spread to other things, homosexuality, masturbation, etc.

Now..what exactly is wrong with these things? No where in the bible does it say these activites are sins, it may frown upon homosexuals but it does not directly say homosexuals can't go to heaven or that masturbation earns you a ticket to the firey pit of hell and who ever heard of Satan getting your soul becuase a whip is brought out when you have sex? It's not hurting anybody and it makes you happy, no more then indulging in some chocolate chip cookies so tell me, what is exactly wrong with these activites?

 

[tapero]

Closed for Review​

 

[Victory of the Cross]

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Saleucami

 

[Jakkaru]

Aye, don;t think anywone is gonna post in this thread, haha. Mods please feel free to delete.

 

[tapero]

Dear Jakkaru,

Sorry this isn't getting many hits. It's kind of controversial I suppose. But no, being those things and doing those things don't send you to hell. It's belief in Christ and in His resurrection that saves. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Your friend's walk will change as he grows perhaps. Maybe not, maybe he'll always feel that way.

I don't want to get to controversial, but ask another question if you have one, and I'll try to help.

Take care, tapero

 

[DailyBlessings]

You are right, Jakkaru, in that your salvation or general wellbeing are hardly put into jeopardy by your chosen forms of recereation (or procreation). In and of itself BDSM is not harmful. There are however some reasons why a Christian might object, beyond simply the "ick" factor. There is a greater risk of forming a generally abusive relationship when physical abuse is a common element of your interaction, and this is a problem. What you do with another person must be by their wishes as well yours, and in a "dominating-dominated" kind of relationship it can be harder to tell when you have crossed the line of acceptable behavior. This would be my word of caution, on moral but also practical grounds.

 

[freeman]

BDSM? Maybe if I knew what that is I'd be able to comment. Maybe you'd better not tell me......

 

[TooCurious]

You are right, Jakkaru, in that your salvation or general wellbeing are hardly put into jeopardy by your chosen forms of recereation (or procreation). In and of itself BDSM is not harmful. There are however some reasons why a Christian might object, beyond simply the "ick" factor. There is a greater risk of forming a generally abusive relationship when physical abuse is a common element of your interaction, and this is a problem. What you do with another person must be by their wishes as well yours, and in a "dominating-dominated" kind of relationship it can be harder to tell when you have crossed the line of acceptable behavior. This would be my word of caution, on moral but also practical grounds.

Not really. From what I understand of BDSM activities and relationships, there is generally a "safeword" used. This word is something entirely unrelated to the activities taking place, like "turtle" or "watermelon," and if the person in the submissive role (or really, either party, I suppose) is no longer comfortable with what's going on and wants it to stop, s/he says the safeword and everything stops immediately. The entire point is for all parties involved to derive enjoyment out of what is going on, and if that ceases to be the case, everyone involved has an interest in stopping or fixing it.

 

[mahalia]

freeman, this is what i got on google...

"Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism"

"1.BDSM 1518 up, 58 down An overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).
Are you actually into doing BDSM or do you just carry that leather whip for show?"
javascript:void(0)

 

[freeman]

Yikes!

Highly advanced -Clint Eastwood

 

[Robbie_James_Francis]

The only possible objection to BDSM is the all-important unwritten 11th Commandment: "Thou shalt not engage in activities that white middle class right wing Christians find to be personally distasteful." Unfortunately, this completely un-Christian precept of enforcing cultural attitudes that have nothing to do with Christianity or religion in general underlies a great deal of the attitudes of some Christians.

peace out

 

[DailyBlessings]

Not really. From what I understand of BDSM activities and relationships, there is generally a "safeword" used. This word is something entirely unrelated to the activities taking place, like "turtle" or "watermelon," and if the person in the submissive role (or really, either party, I suppose) is no longer comfortable with what's going on and wants it to stop, s/he says the safeword and everything stops immediately. The entire point is for all parties involved to derive enjoyment out of what is going on, and if that ceases to be the case, everyone involved has an interest in stopping or fixing it.

Yes, I've heard of such things, and it is a good idea. But I've also heard of cases where such safeguards were not employed or did not work. In the frenzy of the moment things can get confused. I did not condemn the practice outright, I just think that caution is necessary to ensure the safety of the people involved. Surely we can agree on this?

And no, Robbie, that is hardly the "only possible objection".

 

[Ravn]

Can't exactly see where the problem is really? If you enjoy somethin g and there are others who enjoy it to then why should it matter what others think?

ok sounded less corny in my head.

As for religious sin . . . not really my area

 

[bammertheblue]

Yes, I've heard of such things, and it is a good idea. But I've also heard of cases where such safeguards were not employed or did not work. In the frenzy of the moment things can get confused. I did not condemn the practice outright, I just think that caution is necessary to ensure the safety of the people involved. Surely we can agree on this?

And no, Robbie, that is hardly the "only possible objection".

Caution is of course necessary, and trust is of the utmost, utmost importance if you're doing this kind of thing. Some couples don't use safewords and these are typically couples who have been playing together for a long, long time and know each other VERY well and literally trust each other with their lives. Also, people who ignore safewords have a REAL hard time finding partners once word gets around that they can't be trusted.
But really, every activity in life involves risk. You probably run a bigger risk of being hurt on your morning commute than you do while engaging in BDSM play. I don't see any reason to declare it any more immoral than anything else.

Hope that wasn't TMI.

 

[BigToe]

sexual "deviation" is something that has been looked down upon for a long time. many times people in power use their authority to come up with some reason as to why such deviations are bad. for some the religious slant is easiest because perhaps for them, doing such things would get in the way of their relationship with god. so for them, it is wrong. but perhaps you dont see it interfering with your life and the path you've chosen so maybe it isn't wrong for you. but even if somewhere it says it is bad, that isn't what sends people to any sort of hell.

 

[TooCurious]

Yes, I've heard of such things, and it is a good idea. But I've also heard of cases where such safeguards were not employed or did not work. In the frenzy of the moment things can get confused. I did not condemn the practice outright, I just think that caution is necessary to ensure the safety of the people involved. Surely we can agree on this?

I think we can agree that caution, and attentive concern for one's partner, is necessary in any sort of sexual activity. Things can "get confused in the frenzy of the moment" in even the most vanilla conjugal encounter. As bammertheblue mentioned, trust is a key factor in BDSM, and as long as that trust is maintained, there isn't a problem. If there is a breach of trust, whether in the bedroom during a BDSM encounter or in any other aspect of life, problems are likely to arise.

 

[Obsequey]

Not sure if this so much belongs in the question thread or here but who goes.

I had a good buddy of mine a few days ago, Christian but nice to me for not being one and what not. Now I always liked the guy becuase evn though he is a Christian, he is not exactly afraid to talk..well..like a teenage guy. ANywho we got to talking about things and a mentioned BDSM and how I am kind in to it. BOOM! This guy explodes on a religious rant towards me. Now this spread to other things, homosexuality, masturbation, etc.

Now..what exactly is wrong with these things? No where in the bible does it say these activites are sins, it may frown upon homosexuals but it does not directly say homosexuals can't go to heaven or that masturbation earns you a ticket to the firey pit of hell and who ever heard of Satan getting your soul becuase a whip is brought out when you have sex? It's not hurting anybody and it makes you happy, no more then indulging in some chocolate chip cookies so tell me, what is exactly wrong with these activites?

Jakkaru,

I don't think god would have any problem with someone practicing a sexual activity that's safe. Your friend's worries are merely a product of society's outlook on what's considered deviant sexual behaviour, and are ill founded. I say whatever happens behind closed doors is no one's business, as long as it's safe.

 

[Paulos23]

I think we can agree that caution, and attentive concern for one's partner, is necessary in any sort of sexual activity. Things can "get confused in the frenzy of the moment" in even the most vanilla conjugal encounter. As bammertheblue mentioned, trust is a key factor in BDSM, and as long as that trust is maintained, there isn't a problem. If there is a breach of trust, whether in the bedroom during a BDSM encounter or in any other aspect of life, problems are likely to arise.

Agreed, BDSM is highly advanced sexual play. Proceed at your own risk.

But, even when I was a Christian, I did not find anything morally wrong in consentual BDSM play. I can't imagine why he was objecting to it on religous grounds.

 

[Verv]

In many ways BDSM is representative of a lot of sexual indulgence. I have heard that it can sometimes involve groups of people practicing, which certainly in no way is in line with monogamy. Furthermore, someone who shows such an interest in taking sex to a different level perhaps has sex too much on the mind, so to speak.

Christian life does not center around indulging in sexual activity, and anything that involves acting out roles on such a level, in a sadomasochist relationship, does not seem in any way to jive with Christianity.

Although there is nothing directly against it that I can think of off of the top of my head, in many ways it is against the spirit of the Christian life, being that in many people's views it represents a large indulgence and taking sex to an odd level, and is even violent in nature.

 

[TooCurious]

In many ways BDSM is representative of a lot of sexual indulgence. I have heard that it can sometimes involve groups of people practicing, which certainly in no way is in line with monogamy.

As I understand it, in a lot of BDSM encounters, overt sexual contact or penetration doesn't even occur.

Furthermore, someone who shows such an interest in taking sex to a different level perhaps has sex too much on the mind, so to speak.

I think (and I'm not accusing you of doing this, I'm just speaking in general terms) that getting worked up about other people's sexual practices is much more indicative of "having sex too much on the mind" than is experimentation in or enjoyment of nonstandard sexual activities.

Christian life does not center around indulging in sexual activity, and anything that involves acting out roles on such a level, in a sadomasochist relationship, does not seem in any way to jive with Christianity.

As I understand it, BDSM doesn't consume a participant's everyday life; it's just something they enjoy. Similarly, Christianity doesn't center around golf, but someone who enjoys the sport and plays frequently isn't necessarily behaving in a manner at odds with a Christian life, is he?

Although there is nothing directly against it that I can think of off of the top of my head, in many ways it is against the spirit of the Christian life, being that in many people's views it represents a large indulgence and taking sex to an odd level, and is even violent in nature.

Again, as I understand it, BDSM is much more about trust and intimacy than it is about "violence."