Wait or take action?

[heartnsoul]

I'd like to do a little informal poll in the marriage forum about the 97% struggling thing. Whenever I go in there I see alot of problems being posted but I think the content folk just are not posting as much. I see problem marriages...hubby's family having many of them but I also see so many good marriages. I'll post the link after I get the poll up. Just guessing, I'd say the 'struggling' percentage will be between 25 to 40% (and I think that could be high) but I could be wrong.

okay, here we go...it's a pretty basic question but I'll be interested in reading the results. I'd be very surprised if the number is high. I don't blame anybody for repeating the statistic but I think it is irresponsible for folks on the radio to give these type of statistics because they will be quoted and this is a big part of the reason the misleading 50% divorce rate statistic is out there.

I think what we need to keep in mind is that I don't think the 97% just includes the struggling marriages. When we're talking about impatience, we're talking about waiting for the BEST partner according to God. So just because a marriage is a "content" one or a very good one, that doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is the BEST one according to God. Therefore, we need to have an open mind that the 97% means everyone who was impatient and did not wait for the BEST partner. With all due respect, I think you are missing the point.

Please PM me if you would like to discuss this further. I would like my thread to continue peacefully without anymore disruptions. Thanks..and again, there are no hard feelings from my end.

 

[heartnsoul]

DEAR SISTER,

AMY'S DECISION IS BETWEEN HERSELF AND GOD. THE TRUTH LIES IN GOD'S HANDS ALONE.​

ephraim

I will assume that you're not yelling at me. Instead, I will thank you for sharing your opinion and appreciate the big, bold, legible letters. Thank God, I haven't lost my vision yet at the age of 41.

For everyone else who have posted, thank you for posting. I am reading everyone's responses and appreciate all opinions. God bless and continue posting.

 

[Veritas]

I will assume that you're not yelling at me. Instead, I will thank you for sharing your opinion and appreciate the big, bold, legible letters. Thank God, I haven't lost my vision yet at the age of 41.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

I think what we need to keep in mind is that I don't think the 97% just includes the struggling marriages. When we're talking about impatience, we're talking about waiting for the BEST partner according to God. So just because a marriage is a "content" one or a very good one, that doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is the BEST one according to God. Therefore, we need to have an open mind that the 97% means everyone who was impatient and did not wait for the BEST partner. With all due respect, I think you are missing the point.

I must be because how anybody could claim 97% of married couples did not wait for the best partner is beyond me. What a silly statistic

 

[heartnsoul]

I apologize for the disruption of this thread. I welcome more replies from those who haven't posted yet.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Do you think she should have waited on God to deliver her from her painful marriage...or was it justified for her to take action and create her own destiny? All responses/opinions are welcome. Please be respectful to each other on the differing opinions. I love analyzing truths and am sincerely looking for the truth in Amy's decision.

We certainly are in no position to judge the situation. I don't think any of us know the parties involved, etc. It is best to leave it to God Almighty.

DIANE

 

[OnTheWay]

At times I find myself closer to the Roman position, which is no allowance for divorce. But I can also understand the need for economy in dealing with the fallen nature of man. However, if you are ending your second marriage I think you need to take a deep look at yourself and perhaps consider the celibate life. I mean you walk into one bar and get into a fight it might have been them and it might have been you. If the same thing happens in two or three different bars it's probably you.
There are way too many people that go into marriage with the understanding if things are working they can always get a divorce. It's surprising how easily "things not working" becomes my husband lost his job and now we have to live in a smaller house and I'm driving a Honda instead of a BMW. If people had to go into a marriage knowing that if it didn't work there would never be wedding two they might take more time to carefully and prayerfully consider who they were marrying.

 

[JamieGraham]

Fi Amy was married to an addict that was not serious about giveing up the addiction - he was never married ot her anyway - he was married to the addiction. HOwever God does deliver thsoe form that eveil if they are really serious. He must not have been.

As per...

However, the 97% figure just shows the impatience of most of us when it comes to developing spiritual maturity and waiting on God. Hind sight is always 20-20...and I'm sure Amy Grant could attest to that fact.

I am 41 and still waiting patiently, growing spritually and not over focusing on that - marriage. Even though I would love to have it - I am devoted to God first. I guess I was not ready then..I feel I am closer now..We shall see.....

 

[JamieGraham]

sorry for the typeOs...must go to bed now ey? nitenite.

 

[GraceInHim]

DEAR SISTER,

AMY'S DECISION IS BETWEEN HERSELF AND GOD. THE TRUTH LIES IN GOD'S HANDS ALONE.​

ephraim

one eye just woke up ..

 

[Lynn73]

I'm sure glad God doesn't give up on "non-functioning" relationships with us.

Wouldn't it be great if we were as perfect as God? I'm glad He doesn't give up on us.

 

[heartnsoul]

If people had to go into a marriage knowing that if it didn't work there would never be wedding two they might take more time to carefully and prayerfully consider who they were marrying.

Sorry, but I'm afraid I will have to gently disagree with you. Let me clarify what I am trying to say here. We're talking about the QUALITY of marriages. Spiritual attraction-based marriages where both partners are spiritually mature will yield the BEST marriage possible according to God. Just because people stay married longer or as you proposed, cannot marry a second time, it still doesn't equate to QUALITY of a marriage. My husband's parents believed in God, stayed married and never divorced, but they had a very destructive and dysfuncational marriage. So what does longevity have to do with a godly BEST MARRIAGE?? Nothing. Therefore, QUALITY cannot be solely measured on longevity of a marriage. The true test is whether the marriage is based on spiritual attraction and spiritual maturity...which leads me back to the point I made in my post about impatience as the root of the problem.

No offense but your theory is false. Guaranteed that if you show me a spiritually mature and godly based marriage, the fruits of their marriage will speak volumes and their marriage will be of the utmost quality, one that glorifies God to the highest degree possible.

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

We certainly are in no position to judge the situation. I don't think any of us know the parties involved, etc. It is best to leave it to God Almighty.

DIANE

Diane, I agree completely. Guarantee, if you know a divorced couple, the stories you'll hear from each side are very different. Fortunately, God knows our hearts and knows their hearts.

Good reminder. God bless.

 

[OnTheWay]

Sorry, but I'm afraid I will have to gently disagree with you. Let me clarify what I am trying to say here. We're talking about the QUALITY of marriages.

Some people, even those that profess to be Christian, consider the quality of a marriage to revolve around things like whether they feel their sexual needs are being met or if they have enough junk from the mall in the house. The "quality" of the marriage amazingly seems to be lacking when John Doe's 25 year old assistant starts looking better than his current wife or Jane Doe meets a guy that could give her 300,000 dollars more house a bump from a 5 series to 7.

Spiritual attraction-based marriages where both partners are spiritually mature will yield the BEST marriage possible according to God. Just because people stay married longer or as you proposed, cannot marry a second time, it still doesn't equate to QUALITY of a marriage. My husband's parents believed in God, stayed married and never divorced, but they had a very destructive and dysfuncational marriage.

Yes, because we all know the solution to a problem is to avoid it instead of dealing with it. The really sad thing is that even in countries of the fromer Soviet Union that waged a literally violent anti-God war the divorce rates are LOWER than in the United States.

So what does longevity have to do with a godly BEST MARRIAGE?? Nothing. Therefore, QUALITY cannot be solely measured on longevity of a marriage.

"Joe, we had a really good three year run but we've started to argue a bit. I don't think that's part of a "quality" marriage so we need to end it so the quality of the marriage doesn't decline. After all it's quality and not quantity." When put to the light of logic and human nature your argument make no sense. When Jesus said that divorce is unacceptable outside of adultery there was no execption based on some subjective notion like "quality." How to protestant wedding vows go, for richer or for poorer, for better or for WORSE.

The true test is whether the marriage is based on spiritual attraction and spiritual maturity...which leads me back to the point I made in my post about impatience as the root of the problem.

Once again, people would simply prayerfully and carefully consider their choice in spouses when there is no divorce if the "quality" begans to decline. Anyone that's never dealt with marketing knows that people are much more likely to do something when there is an easy out. That's why every company under the sun offers a full refund if you aren't fully satisfied. People will take that assurance and buy a product that they probably wouldn't if they knew they were stuck with it. Equally so, people will enter into marriages knowing that if it doesn't turn out like they want they can always divorce.

No offense but your theory is false.

No offense but it is illogical. There is no room in Christianity for the no fault divorce.

Guaranteed that if you show me a spiritually mature and godly based marriage, the fruits of their marriage will speak volumes and their marriage will be of the utmost quality, one that glorifies God to the highest degree possible.

Guaranteed that if you show me a person that knows there is no easy divorce you'll show me a person that will not rush into marriage.

 

[heartnsoul]

Thanks to those who have posted so far. I appreciate all the different opinions. I still welcome more opinions from those who haven't posted yet. God bless everyone.