Very worried again

[Gingerine]

I was reading about doubt yesterday and stumbled across James 4:4, that talked about friendship with the world and I panicked. All those fears I had about my other issues were dredged up. I keep thinking that by worrying about not being able to do the things OCD tells me I can't do like, write, read and work that I have become a friend to the world because I worried about it so much.

I started to read the whole NT yesterday and I have realized some things about myself but I am still worried that my worries about losing these things mean I am a friend of the world and can't do them any more.

I really want to feel comfortable reading daily events, books and writing, shopping and even talking to people but my mind says "Since you wanted it so badly you're are a friend to the world if you do it!" so I have become numb, trying not to do anything at all and feeling bad when I fight against it. All the while, my mind is pouring in thoughts telling me what else I can't do. Can't buy clothes, can't eat candy, can't watch movies at all.
The anxiety has gotten so bad, it is visible, I like have tics or something, my fingers clamp together in an odd manner, my face gets stuck sometimes, so far no one has noticed but I am worried about that too.

It tells me every time I worry, I make it into a pursuit of the world and that I can't do it or I am in danger of hell, it says I should just accept whatever it says I can't have gladly and bow out without complaint and that my resistance is proof of a bad heart. But it is the one that makes me worry!

I wish this would go away.

Does worrying about not being able to do something make me a friend of the world? I don't understand what I should do. I want to do these things but I am afraid of upsetting God.
I am very sad and my head feels empty and I don't know why.

 

[Dendy]

Bless your heart. Can you not see what a wonderful person you are? You have gone SO FAR BEYOND what most people do to try to please your Heavenly Father but sweetie, you need to do some things to help yourself get thru this illness and those things need to include fun things like hobbies or like reading, writing, shopping, etc. YOU DESERVE THOSE THINGS!!!!! God's not going to punish you for that! Your post shows your faith is extremely strong. You've got nothing to be afraid of. Please believe me. I do so many fun things that I enjoy and it helps me so much. I cross stitch huge fine art patterns, I quilt, I put 1000 piece puzzles together, I go shopping and have my hair done and have lunch, I paint things with the little craft paints, I crochet, I garden. My medication has helps a lot too. Don't worry!!!!!

 

[Crabcake]

Ohh, I understand some of your pain. That's got to be so difficult to live with.

Here's my take: if you budget your money and give yourself a personal budget to have fun money, you shouldn't feel bad if you spend it on non-sinful things. (AKA don't go buying harmful substances) And as long as you're not addicted to things, that's good!

People were musicians in the Bible! David played the harp, but he was a shepherd originally. Wouldn't that be a hobby?

Having fun isn't a sin as long as the hobby doesn't become a top priority over God nor your normal responsibilities. I doubt you're going to let yourself become so involved with a puzzle that you stopped feeding yourself, grooming, and neglected the needs of those around you.

If you're spending time in prayer, reading your Bible, and helping others, then that extra time in your day can be used to help yourself mentally. We all need a break. God doesn't want us to just do nothing. We can create and be fun and solve puzzles and shop as long as it doesn't get in the way of what God wants us to do. No problemo! Talk with God about this and listen for a response from Him.

Hobbies are mentally helpful. They help us be creative and relax our minds. In essence, they're helpful to our serving the Lord. Kind of like sleeping! Sleeping helps us function as we should.

 

[Tolworth John]

was reading about doubt yesterday and stumbled across James 4:4, that talked about friendship with the world and I panicked. All those fears I had about my other issues were dredged up. I keep thinking that by worrying about not being able to do the things OCD tells me I can't do like, write, read and work that I have become a friend to the world

I Christian terms a friend to or of the world ' is someone who was hey are Christian, but does not live or practice a Christian life style.

There is nothing wrong with having doubts or questions about ones faith so long as one does something about finding answers.

May I suggest that you find and read the article 25 tips to successfully treat your ocd.

It contains tips on dealing with intrusive thoughts and ocd.

 

[Mari17]

I was reading about doubt yesterday and stumbled across James 4:4, that talked about friendship with the world and I panicked. All those fears I had about my other issues were dredged up. I keep thinking that by worrying about not being able to do the things OCD tells me I can't do like, write, read and work that I have become a friend to the world because I worried about it so much.

I started to read the whole NT yesterday and I have realized some things about myself but I am still worried that my worries about losing these things mean I am a friend of the world and can't do them any more.

I really want to feel comfortable reading daily events, books and writing, shopping and even talking to people but my mind says "Since you wanted it so badly you're are a friend to the world if you do it!" so I have become numb, trying not to do anything at all and feeling bad when I fight against it. All the while, my mind is pouring in thoughts telling me what else I can't do. Can't buy clothes, can't eat candy, can't watch movies at all.
The anxiety has gotten so bad, it is visible, I like have tics or something, my fingers clamp together in an odd manner, my face gets stuck sometimes, so far no one has noticed but I am worried about that too.

It tells me every time I worry, I make it into a pursuit of the world and that I can't do it or I am in danger of hell, it says I should just accept whatever it says I can't have gladly and bow out without complaint and that my resistance is proof of a bad heart. But it is the one that makes me worry!

I wish this would go away.

Does worrying about not being able to do something make me a friend of the world? I don't understand what I should do. I want to do these things but I am afraid of upsetting God.
I am very sad and my head feels empty and I don't know why.

Hm. It sounds like you are human, with human needs and desires. And it sounds like you have OCD and are overly worried about this.

How can you work on treating the OCD?