Hi Saved,
Welcome back! I remember when you were here before. Sorry things are not so smooth right now. My blood boiled a bit when I read your post. If I come across strong, it's only because I do not like to see a Christian brother or sister being pushed around. I do have a few comments.
life becomes more difficult as i come closer to the Lord.
That's how it works, especially when you are living for the Lord around unbelievers. satan would like nothing more than to drag you down and away from the Lord.
Accepted Christ two years ago and decided things in my life had to be changed. I walked away from drinking, clubs, and the things i felt were ungodly. Problem is my wife did not make that change and she was going with her family to the club withou me and the whole time i was being judged for not being her husband and being by her side.
You were and are her husband. It's your choice, not theirs, as to where you go. If they want to judge you by a faulty standard, let them judge.
[bible]Matthew 5:10[/bible]
So, after three months i decided to go with her everyonce and a while and to social drink(one or two beers tops). After that for about 6 or so months i felt more and more like the club was the House Of Satan and i did not belong.
Sounds like the Holy Spirit is communicating this to you.
Her sister proceeded to offer her advice on how my wife isn't happy with me because i'm no "fun" anymore because i don't drink and do the "typical" things you do when you drink. She proceeds to tell me that i want go to hell if i drink
So she is an expert on religious matters? She actually is disrespecting your right to make your own decisions.
and that she knows that i'm taking this whole christian thing too far
She will not have this same opinion on Judgment Day.
As always it's hard to convince anyone of your beliefs especially when they were raised up thinking were all going to Heaven anyway-you kknow -the good works thing.
I know. But remember, it's not your job to convince them of your beliefs. It's your job to live your beliefs, regardless of how others try to influence you to compromise.
i want to follow God, but i want to love my wife.
These two are not exclusive of the other. You can and are expected to do both. If the only way your wife feels loved by you is if you go out and get drunk with her, or go to places where your conscience screams at you that you don't belong, then she has issues. Don't let her or anyone else manipulate you into doing things you feel are ungodly.
You mentioned kids. The surest way to see that your kids grow up thinking social drinking and getting drunk are acceptable is to have both parents live that lifestyle. You cannot make decisions for your wife, but your children need to see you as a good role model.
Do i go back to social drinking or go to the club with her
What do you have peace about?
and stop looking so self righteous?
Who says you are self-righteous? Is this an accusation from your wife or her family? If it's a false accusation, don't accept it into your life. You are already using that language like it is true. Is it? If not, stop speaking as if it is. If others feel like it's so, but they are wrong, pray for them and thank God you are considered worthy to be criticized for following Him. But don't agree with them just because it's convenient.
Do i just continue to struggle with the pressure of the wight of the world on me feeling like everyone is judging me for making her life miserable?
What is your job title? Is it her designated party boy? If she's miserable because you won't party with her, she has issues, not you.
And as for everyone judging you, let them judge. Stand your ground.
She's got a christmas party next week and then New Years and i'm not sure what and how i'm supposed to approach them.
What kind of parties? Office parties where there will be alcohol, parties at a club where drink is free flowing, or drunken orgies?
I'll answer based on the assumption they will be office parties with alcohol. Only if you feel peace about it would I suggest considering going... and if you don't feel like drinking, don't. If you feel it's okay to have a bit, that's your choice, and no one else's. Under no circumstances would I let anyone talk me into drinking more than I wanted to, NO MATTER THE FALLOUT. This isn't high school; you don't need to bow to peer pressure. If they can't handle a "no" from you, it's time for them to grow up.
If the parties will be at a club where you don't feel peace about going... I absolutely would not go. Hey, here's an idea... invite them to your church. Every time they invite you out drinking, invite them to church. I suspect they'll stop inviting you out if you do that.
I'm all for peace in the family, as long as it doesn't violate my conscience. What violates your conscience? Going to the bar? Having a few drinks? Getting drunk? I recommend you find out what you have peace about, then take a stand, and let the chips fall where they may.
What would you rather do, please the unbelievers around you, or please God?
[bible]Psalm 1:1[/bible]
Here's my interpretation:
Don't follow their advice.
Don't accept their lifestyle.
Don't join their sin.
Personally, I don't think it's a sin to have a drink, unless it violates your conscience. Then I think it is a sin. I encourage you to follow what you have peace about in your heart, not what you allow others to decide for you.
Saved, I don't mean to be harsh, but come on, stand your ground. If you don't want to drink, that's YOUR choice. If you don't want to go to a club where the main purpose is to drink, that's YOUR choice. If your wife can't handle it, it's her problem. Going out drinking wasn't part of your wedding vows.
I'm not perfect by far, but the days of allowing someone else to decide when and how much I drink are long gone. So are the days of someone else deciding where I will go,
especially if I don't have peace about those places.
This next thought came to mind as soon as I started reading your post: The pleas of the rebellious for me to join their sin mean nothing to me.
You are in a battle, and it will get worse...unless you capitulate, and then you will have no peace in your heart. If you capitulate, you will be miserable and will feel even worse than you do now.
What is your choice?
And yes i will be on my hands and knees praying to God as well as daily reading His Word for His answer as well. Thanks and God Bless.
Good. When the battle comes, stand strong. If it feels like you are all alone against everyone, and being attacked on all sides, then you are probably doing the right thing.
Note what Jesus had to say:
[bible]Matthew 10:34-35[/bible]
Note especially the next verse:
[bible]Matthew 10:36[/bible]
The next verses are too good to leave out:
[bible]Matthew 10:37-39[/bible]
Stand strong, brother.
for you!
