Just so you know everything that I said in my other thread is STILL going on for those who have read it.
So I'm taking my test in a few days and stressed out beyond belief.
I came home from work today and ended up becoming a sounding post about how this and that is wrong with me. It was unbelieveable. All I did was say something was wrong with my car and that was it. Next time I won't say anything.
I must have cried since 3pm and still have glassy eyes.
I just can't do this whole college/test anymore. It seems so pointless.
Everyday I'm reminded that I have to pass this test and that how I may not pass it and that if I don't then I have to quite my part-time job and get a "real" job. Then there was a ton of rules I would have to follow like never being able to go to the store and what not. It's INSANE!
And get this while I'm typing this someone came in and asked if I was working tomorrow. Kind of like remind me that I need one or something.
I really do need out of my house and someone said that everything that is happening should motivate me to do everything in my will to pass this test and leave.
But the truth is I can't find the motivation. If I pass this test then it's my ticket out of here. But I can't find the motivation to do it. I'm so tired of everything and all I want to do is sleep.
It's like everything is being put on my shoulders and in the meantime I'm trying to pass this test. It's very important that I do pass it but deep down I feel like I can't do it. Like I'm not one of the lucky ones to pass it. Kind of wish now that I would have done a major where I didn't need graduate school. I could of had a good job now, living on my own, and none of this would be happening to me now.
And what makes me feel even worse is a guy I know took it and passed. But here's the kicker he wasn't sober when he did. How pathetic is that? I can't even pass it while sober and someone who isn't can.
Anyways sorry to rant on but I just feel lower then low can go.
So I'm taking my test in a few days and stressed out beyond belief.
I came home from work today and ended up becoming a sounding post about how this and that is wrong with me. It was unbelieveable. All I did was say something was wrong with my car and that was it. Next time I won't say anything.
I must have cried since 3pm and still have glassy eyes.
I just can't do this whole college/test anymore. It seems so pointless.
Everyday I'm reminded that I have to pass this test and that how I may not pass it and that if I don't then I have to quite my part-time job and get a "real" job. Then there was a ton of rules I would have to follow like never being able to go to the store and what not. It's INSANE!
And get this while I'm typing this someone came in and asked if I was working tomorrow. Kind of like remind me that I need one or something.
I really do need out of my house and someone said that everything that is happening should motivate me to do everything in my will to pass this test and leave.
But the truth is I can't find the motivation. If I pass this test then it's my ticket out of here. But I can't find the motivation to do it. I'm so tired of everything and all I want to do is sleep.
It's like everything is being put on my shoulders and in the meantime I'm trying to pass this test. It's very important that I do pass it but deep down I feel like I can't do it. Like I'm not one of the lucky ones to pass it. Kind of wish now that I would have done a major where I didn't need graduate school. I could of had a good job now, living on my own, and none of this would be happening to me now.
And what makes me feel even worse is a guy I know took it and passed. But here's the kicker he wasn't sober when he did. How pathetic is that? I can't even pass it while sober and someone who isn't can.
Anyways sorry to rant on but I just feel lower then low can go.
