This is going to be a somewhat abstract thought, but as I'm thinking about this question I have to say I'm there but I fail to recognize it. I'm sure I could name places I'd rather be, other things I'd rather be doing, or people I'd rather be with (no offence to ya'll). But despite the stain of sin on my life and the world that surrounds me, I know I'm where God has put me right now and I can't ask for a better place to be. I see God working in my life and the lives of people around me. I see Him taking me places that I haven't dreamed of, better than what I could ask for. He is bringing some incredible people into my life that I'm really enjoying. Life is an adventure right now and I'm grateful for that. I'm not saying everything in my life is perfect, my heart aches to find Ms. Right and there's a list a mile long that I'd love to change about myself and the world, but I know Jesus is at work on that. So I have to say that I'm in my utopia, I just need to have the faith to see it that way.
CS Lewis wrote a passage in "The Great Divorce" that really struck me deep. I'll share it:
'Son,' he said, 'ye cannot in your present state understand eternity: when Anodos looked through the door of the Timeless he brought no message back. But ye can get some likeness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. Not only this valley but all their earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only the twilight in that town, but all their life on Earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasures they say "Let me have but this and I'll take the consequences": little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twighlight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven," and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly.'
That passage to me speaks a great deal of truth. Though there is pain and suffering and a longing for Home now, these things work for God's Glory. While I can dream of better places and better times (we must hold onto hope), I have to choose to find good in the place I am now and trust that God has me where He wants me and for His purpose. I think if I can learn that then I'll understand contentment.
I say these things not that I feel them and have no doubt, I'm seeking the faith to believe these things.
), and there would be lots of kittens!
