(urgent) How do I help a dying person?

[holo]

I went to school with this guy, ten years ago, and haven't seen him since, though we live in the same small town now. He's about to die from cancer and I'm told he's very down and has given up - death is around the corner.
I never really knew him, but I know I should do something. Visit him at least. Problem is I'm really uncomfortable doing things like that, I'm not good at socializing at all. I wish I was full of faith that God would heal him, that I had the courage, if not the words, to speak to him. As far as I know, he doesn't believe in God at all. I know the Word says the Spirit will put words in our mouth and all that, it's just so incredibly hard to take the step. I'm obviously feeling guilty over this. Jesus changed my life and I know He can change his. I just don't know how to boost my confidence in what may be a matter of days.

 

[Hobo No More]

Well it seems you only have one thing you can do and that is to speak to him. It doesn't matter if you are not feeling comfortable, he isn't feeling comfortable and he certainly won't be where he will be going soon. You need to speak to him about Jesus, tell him that he needs to put faith in Jesus. You could use the story about the man on the cross who said 'remember me to Jesus' and Jesus said 'You will be in paradise'. He doesn't have much hope so I'm sure he will be interested in listening to the hope of the gospel.

I'm sorry I'm being blunt but it's a situation where you need to get a move on.
The Lord will be with you, pray for guidance.
I'll be praying for you to.

Hobo

 

[KayDee]

Don't worry too much about what you're going to say. It is not your words that is going to save him. I understand where you're coming from but it is the Holy Spirit that does the convicting. Just pray before you go and let God do the rest. Let us know how it goes. I've said a prayer for both of you and I'm sure everyone who reads this thread will too.

In His Grace
KayDee

 

[Crazy Liz]

Go see him, and listen to him, or sit with him quietly. Don't worry so much about what to say. Show him you care. Ask him if you can pray with him or for him. Most people will gladly accept your prayers. Keep it simple, though. Don't make your prayer a sermon. You might ask him if there is anything he would sepcifically like you to pray for him. That kind of request is more likely to minister to him spiritually than anything else you might do.

Also, don't forget to clear up any obligations you may have between yourself and him. IOW, if you have anything to apologize to him for, be sure you do that, too.

 

[holo]

Thanks.
I think I just need some excuse to see him. I'm hoping to run into him in the store or somewhere. We haven't had any contact at all in all these years, and back then we didn't hang with each other much. I'm not an outgoing person at all. Anyway I know the main problem here is my own fear. I'm certainly scared of knocking on his door and going "heymanJesuslovesyoudude", anyway I don't think that would be right.
It's just tearing me apart, I hate the fact that I'm so scared and everything. I have to trust God to be bigger than me, but if He wants me to just go visit this guy, I just don't know if I can.

 

[israelthebride]

Take an old hymnal with you on your next visit
and sing some with your friend.

or try this website for some hymns

songofpraise.org / songstheme.htm

(put the above together - forum will not let me leave a link)

YH'SHWH'S HOLY SPIRIT will CALL him.

LOVE, RICOEL

 

[MichaelFJF]

Just be there. You're not going to say anything profound. Take a book. Tell him you just stopped by - and if you happen to sit and read for a while, he'll like the fact that there's someone in the room besides doctors and nurses. M

 

[desi]

Go visit him and try to get him to do things. Lots of dying people sit around and wait to die, this is excruciating. Invite him to chruch!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Just pretend you're catching up with an old friend and chit chat about this and that. You may do a lot of listening. Don't let his fate rest on your shoulders.

 

[12volt_man]

Thanks.
I think I just need some excuse to see him.

When all else fails, just tell him the truth. Just say, "hey, I heard you were sick and wanted to let you know that I'm here for you if you need anything".

Anyway I know the main problem here is my own fear.

Yeah, it's scary. I know this isn't what you want to hear but like the commercial says, you've got to "just do it". I'm betting that once you get over the initial shock, you'll be fine and you'll be surprised how well you do.

I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from people here. The best thing you can do is just be a friend. Don't be afraid to talk about his cancer but follow his lead when talking about it.

When we talk to sick people, we tend to pretend like everything's fine, as though we're afraid that they don't know they're sick. The truth is that a lot of times, they need someone to talk to about it and we're more afraid of it than they are. Don't try to be psychologist or evangelist. Just talk to him as a friend.

I'll be praying for the both of you.

 

[Rafael]

Go see him, and listen to him, or sit with him quietly. Don't worry so much about what to say. Show him you care. Ask him if you can pray with him or for him. Most people will gladly accept your prayers. Keep it simple, though. Don't make your prayer a sermon. You might ask him if there is anything he would sepcifically like you to pray for him. That kind of request is more likely to minister to him spiritually than anything else you might do.

Also, don't forget to clear up any obligations you may have between yourself and him. IOW, if you have anything to apologize to him for, be sure you do that, too.

You aren't so crazy...Liz...that's great advice.