Update on Situation

[FragileWinter]

It's been a long two days. Halloween day was full of extreme highs and lows. I had a lot of stressors (failed a math test, agitated classmates, etc) but a lot of creativity (four poems, artwork). I went to the very crowded football game with anxiety high but my boyfriend was there to support me. Everything was generally fine until I got home.

After checking my messages on internet, I went into my room to work on some art and then go to sleep. Mom had other plans. She came into my room and sat on my bed (I hate that, usually means I'm in trouble). She kept bugging me about what's wrong this week. I finally blurted out I want to see a therapist. Bad idea, that added more and more hours of bugging me. By the end of it I was yelling and begging for her to get out of my room and let me go to bed. Then from 1 am to I don't know how long I cried myself to sleep.

Today has been constant bugging and arguments and yelling. It's so hard right now. I feel overwhelmed. Our arguments just make me feel like I'm an not good enough. We argue over me, my attitude, my friends, my views, my art, my writing, some days it seems like everything. I just need a chance to be myself without opposition.

I'm sorry. The last part turned into a rant......I hate that. Just disregard it I suppose. I just wanted to let you all know how I'm doing.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Oh sweetie... I am so sorry to hear your mom is being a pest to you. Sometimes parents mean well but they assume they do in fact know everything, inclusive to the what why and how you're feeling a certain way and don't know how to back off.

If you want to chat, catch me on MSN, or PM me, I am here for you.

 

[FragileWinter]

Oh sweetie... I am so sorry to hear your mom is being a pest to you. Sometimes parents mean well but they assume they do in fact know everything, inclusive to the what why and how you're feeling a certain way and don't know how to back off.

If you want to chat, catch me on MSN, or PM me, I am here for you.

Thanks. It means a lot.

 

[Jeshu]

It's been a long two days. Halloween day was full of extreme highs and lows. I had a lot of stressors (failed a math test, agitated classmates, etc) but a lot of creativity (four poems, artwork). I went to the very crowded football game with anxiety high but my boyfriend was there to support me. Everything was generally fine until I got home.

After checking my messages on internet, I went into my room to work on some art and then go to sleep. Mom had other plans. She came into my room and sat on my bed (I hate that, usually means I'm in trouble). She kept bugging me about what's wrong this week. I finally blurted out I want to see a therapist. Bad idea, that added more and more hours of bugging me. By the end of it I was yelling and begging for her to get out of my room and let me go to bed. Then from 1 am to I don't know how long I cried myself to sleep.

Today has been constant bugging and arguments and yelling. It's so hard right now. I feel overwhelmed. Our arguments just make me feel like I'm an not good enough. We argue over me, my attitude, my friends, my views, my art, my writing, some days it seems like everything. I just need a chance to be myself without opposition.

I'm sorry. The last part turned into a rant......I hate that. Just disregard it I suppose. I just wanted to let you all know how I'm doing.

Hi,

How hard for a mother to let her child be - and how hard it is then for the child to let mum be!

I know the moments, be encouraged it is only for some time. And please don't listen to rebellion, but love her to death instead - it will make you feel much better. You know letting yourself be so riled-up after you mum attacks you with her fears, doubts and worries, often causes even more long term damage. Try to forgive her and ignore her, love her knowing that this is how she treats herself as well - not helpful when you see 'wrong' to start screaming and carrying on about it.

(Ask her if our Heavenly Father carries on like that when we are just being ourselves - even when it is wrong?)

A good song to listen to - Mother - by Pink Floyd - The Wall. (Sinead O'conner sings the best version of this song.) To make you realise you're not alone.

Gerry

 

[FragileWinter]

Hi,

How hard for a mother to let her child be - and how hard it is then for the child to let mum be!

I know the moments, be encouraged it is only for some time. And please don't listen to rebellion, but love her to death instead - it will make you feel much better. You know letting yourself be so riled-up after you mum attacks you with her fears, doubts and worries, often causes even more long term damage. Try to forgive her and ignore her, love her knowing that this is how she treats herself as well - not helpful when you see 'wrong' to start screaming and carrying on about it.

(Ask her if our Heavenly Father carries on like that when we are just being ourselves - even when it is wrong?)

A good song to listen to - Mother - by Pink Floyd - The Wall. (Sinead O'conner sings the best version of this song.) To make you realise you're not alone.

Gerry

Thanks. By the way, when I say mom I mean grandmother. The double generation gap really causes all of our arguments and disagreements. I really did try to exercise self-control last night. I am proud I tried very hard and almost succeeded. Some of her stereotypes and misunderstandings just hurt. I really feel bad. A friend of mine here showed me a video that helped me. It was of an older guy who had almost the exact same trouble. It really helped me. Thanks for your assistance as well.

 

[madison1101]

I am so sorry to hear that your request for a therapist was met with contention. That is just not right. You have a legitimate need for psychological help, and should be able to seek that help without conflict.

You might have to go to your family doctor and ask for a referral, and ask the family doctor to talk to your mother/grandmother in front of you. Your doctor could probably explain to your mom about the truth concerning your problem.

Otherwise, you may consider talking to your school counselor and see if he/she could help you in seeking the help you need. Where I work, the counselor helps the kids that way.

God bless.

Trish

 

[FragileWinter]

I am so sorry to hear that your request for a therapist was met with contention. That is just not right. You have a legitimate need for psychological help, and should be able to seek that help without conflict.

You might have to go to your family doctor and ask for a referral, and ask the family doctor to talk to your mother/grandmother in front of you. Your doctor could probably explain to your mom about the truth concerning your problem.

Otherwise, you may consider talking to your school counselor and see if he/she could help you in seeking the help you need. Where I work, the counselor helps the kids that way.

God bless.

Trish

Thanks. She said she'd look into it at least. I'm from a small town so they don't really do stuff like that around here. Thanks for the support.

 

[Alive again]

So much excellent advice. Saying a prayer for you and your mother. Praying God will make a way. Yes, the double generation gap when it comes to mental illness is a very difficult one. They knew so little about mental health and illness in your "mother's day". Feel free to PM me and I would be willing to talk with your mother by telephone if your mother would be interested.. You see, my Dad had BP and I hav eit and my son had it as well. It was very difficult for my hubby to understand as well as many in my church, for they did not have the exposure. I am a health professional as well. Praying for you and your mother.

 

[FragileWinter]

So much excellent advice. Saying a prayer for you and your mother. Praying God will make a way. Yes, the double generation gap when it comes to mental illness is a very difficult one. They knew so little about mental health and illness in your "mother's day". Feel free to PM me and I would be willing to talk with your mother by telephone if your mother would be interested.. You see, my Dad had BP and I hav eit and my son had it as well. It was very difficult for my hubby to understand as well as many in my church, for they did not have the exposure. I am a health professional as well. Praying for you and your mother.

Hello again. You're another face from here I remember. Remember me? I was the really young one here about a year ago with info and questions.

I've finally decided to get formally diagnosed. Thank you for your prayers. It seems my fears about the diagnosis process are pretty realistic. I will admit that It's really scary for me. I'm very afraid, especially to tell her that I think I'm bipolar. She's said several things about it that make me cringe and made me afraid to even ask for help for a few years. Thank you for your prayers. It means a lot. I doubt it'd be wise for you to talk to her though. She has a fear of people online. She believes they are all pedophiles trying to kidnap me (another lovely gift of the generation gap). Thank you very very much for your kindness and concern. It means a lot. When I first came here a year ago, I got nothing but kindness and support. I am so glad that hasn't changed.

 

[madison1101]

I am not sure why you are afraid of being diagnosed. I work in a psychiatric hospital, and find that the more a patient learns about themselves and their illness, the better the potential for recovery. Ignorance does not promote health. It promotes fear, which contributes to the mental illness to begin with.

What is it you are afraid of? All that a diagnosis does is provide you, your therapist, and your insurance company with a label and a better understanding of your needs. Knowing your diagnosis also allows the psychiatrist to better prescribe medications and also allows the therapist to better understand your needs as well.

Hope that helps.
Trish

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Hey There Fragile Winter,

You are so right about this place there is a lot of good support. About getting a diagnosis, I know you haven't been diagnoised yet, but just remember it is part of life to have something wrong with us, you just can't get around it really. Also if it makes you feel better, if I were grading the math test, you would have to get less than twenty percent to fail that test, I know my standards are like nonexistance, but I am working to improve that, once I get my students up to where they can pass the test without so much partial credit. You hang in there Fragile Winter, maybe the teacher will tutor you a little bit?

 

[FragileWinter]

I am not sure why you are afraid of being diagnosed. I work in a psychiatric hospital, and find that the more a patient learns about themselves and their illness, the better the potential for recovery. Ignorance does not promote health. It promotes fear, which contributes to the mental illness to begin with.

What is it you are afraid of? All that a diagnosis does is provide you, your therapist, and your insurance company with a label and a better understanding of your needs. Knowing your diagnosis also allows the psychiatrist to better prescribe medications and also allows the therapist to better understand your needs as well.

Hope that helps.
Trish

The fear for me comes not from being diagnosed but from the small, narrowminded community in which I live. I know it will make things harder on me and my family. I don't want to hurt them. Thanks for the kindness and support.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I hid my bipolar for a long time, until it hid my personality from repression of it also do to the stigma of mental illness. I live outside a big city, but the little city I reside in is wretched. I'm here if you want to chat.