Unsure about What to Do

[motherprayer]

I've dealt with being told "I'm nothing" my entire life, and being told something so often (even if it were a lie) makes that thing basically turn into a truth, something that you start believing. I've been treated like this and told that I'm nothing so much that it has turned into a truth for me. And trying to get rid of that belief is the hardest thing I've ever tried, and it didn't work. I essentially feel "pathetic", and I know it's not about me it's about God but its hard putting trust in God when there's been so many prior attempts that don't work out. I never seem to get anything right. Sorry for the downer post, having a pretty bad day oh well, at least things can only get better, right?

Sorries are not allowed for being honest lol

Well, I have a thought. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, right? And there actually IS a verse or two that says something to the effect of "we are nothign without Christ." Then there is a verse that says "HIS strength is made PERFECT in our weakness." And then we have those places where the Bible tells us to be made into a new creature, and transformed by the hearing of the Word. Hmm

So, then, who cares what those people said you are? In Christ, you are AWESOME!

Ya, I know, it might take a bit for you to get to that place of true awesomeness. That's okay. Awesomeness is a process, just like learning to trust God. BUT. Even if you don't BELIEVE you are awesome, if you believe in JESUS, you ARE awesome.

Bless you, friend. Keep working on it, seriously. I've been where you are, I had no one growing up to teach me my worth, either in a worldly sense, or in Jesus, and it took much time for me to really believe I WASN'T awesome. I honestly have been where you are now, and it breaks my heart to know how painful it is.

If you ever need an ear, Razz and I are here for you. She IS awesome. She's like, totally-super-cool.

I hope your day gets better!

 

[Cyprezz]

Thanks razz, and motherprayer. What both of you have said has really made me think. Thank you. I know I will still have issues, but I believe I'll get over them.

Thank you, again

 

[Spunkn]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

Still having issues though. I just can't get my head around "why" God would still love people like me who have screwed up so much and are continually turning their backs. I'm a hypocrite now as I've always thought that people who say "he didn't respond or talk back" were just being silly, but now I can understand where they're coming from.

We all do this. Even Christians who have already accepted Christ.

We do not deserve salvation. We do not deserve God's love because we have chosen to disobey Him. And yet, He still decides to provide a way out for us through Jesus Christ.

He created us in His image. He created everything to be good and perfect in the beginning. Adam and Eve were given a choice only to obey him. They disobeyed and sin came into the world. God cannot accept the presence of sin, His holy nature does not allow it. He cannot also let sin go unpunished, He is just. But in His loving nature He created a plan of salvation for us. Through His Son Jesus Christ's death on the cross that price would be paid. For all of us, all we would have to do is accept Jesus Christ as our personal savior and believe in Him.

Truly none of us deserve this. It is only God's love and grace that allows us to have this. Once you accept Jesus as your savior your sins are forgiven. They are taken away as far as the east is from the west. You are made righteous before God. Before you were an enemy because of sin, but in Christ you are made to be a child of God.

Hope this explains some of it.

 

[Spunkn]

But then I doubt myself even further. Why would I be important to anyone? I probably cause more trouble than most people you know, and having the honor of having faith in God is just... too "amazing", for someone like me. It's sort of like the bad kid in school who gets the "best student of the month award", and knows that they shouldn't get it based on who've they've been.

You are important because you are a creation of God. He wants to have a personal relationship with you. You are made in His image.

If there is a God, you need some faith that He will reveal Himself to you. You need faith to accept that step to accept Jesus as your personal savior. To believe that He died on the cross for your sins.

However, there are good reasons to believe in Christianity as well. It can be backed up by archaelogical evidence, nature, and many other things. You just have to search for it and have an open mind. Often people reject the evidence of science and that it supports the Bible only because they are looking at it with a bias. There is also the supernatural evidence. How many other religions have thousands upon thousands of testimonies of changing peoples lives? Supernatural claims that their religion saved their life, or changed it?

Science / evidence does not tell you anything. You interpret that evidence with a bias. Christians look at it through the eyes of Christianity and how God works. Someone who believes there can be no God will not accept that evidence can prove there is a God. It's all in how you look at it, and your starting beliefs to begin with.

It's not by chance that you are searching for answers. God is calling you. You now have the choice to follow that calling, or reject it. I would urge you to follow it. It -will- change your life if you allow it. And it will be the best thing you ever did.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Faith comes from "hearing" and hearing by the Word of God. Read, Study (on line if you have to) Libraries abound. God likes to be sought. He is not afraid of your questions. So start by learning. Gateway is a site that will give you access to many translations of the Bible, if you want to know God..start with The Book.

 

[Cyprezz]

Me again everyone.

As I've just started walking down this path, I've already found myself concerned about a few things, but then I try to talk to God about these concerns (emotionally dumping some may call it) and ask for understanding, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that I was concerned. Well, more like worried and stressed. Being so new to this, I still have a lot to learn.

The MAJOR thing I'm having an issue comprehending is "eternity". Sure, the word is used mainly in the sense of a "very long time" but have you ever truly thought about "eternity"?
It's a concept that I've been trying to get my head around, but it's just too big (all pun intended) to grasp.

"An eternity with God with perfection in Him" is something I try to focus on, but then that silly word "eternity" gets in the way.

I might be overreacting as I usually do, but does anyone have any thoughts or advice or words on this concept? Looks like I need community help once again

 

[Cyprezz]

And something else I didn't mention is that with my current medical situation, "eternity" is very much something I am concerned about right now.

 

[razzelflabben]

Me again everyone.

As I've just started walking down this path, I've already found myself concerned about a few things, but then I try to talk to God about these concerns (emotionally dumping some may call it) and ask for understanding, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that I was concerned. Well, more like worried and stressed. Being so new to this, I still have a lot to learn.

The MAJOR thing I'm having an issue comprehending is "eternity". Sure, the word is used mainly in the sense of a "very long time" but have you ever truly thought about "eternity"?
It's a concept that I've been trying to get my head around, but it's just too big (all pun intended) to grasp.

"An eternity with God with perfection in Him" is something I try to focus on, but then that silly word "eternity" gets in the way.

I might be overreacting as I usually do, but does anyone have any thoughts or advice or words on this concept? Looks like I need community help once again

lol...eternity is a big word, one too big to wrap our heads around....however, In Christ, your eternity starts at the moment of belief. Let me explain, Jesus came to give life and give it abundantly, but that begins at belief, it's called life in the power of the HS dwelling within. Most people miss this. When you are forgiven of your sins, it is Christ's righteousness that is seen, not your own. Let me see, an analogy....I saw a paint in the store the other day that showed how well it covers stains and such. To demonstrate, they took a "wall" with black symbol on it, and used the new paint to paint over it, and ta da, the black was not visible, not even an outline or hint that it have ever been there. That is kind of like Jesus blood covering our sins. When the blood is applies to our sins, through confession and repentance, the sin is completely covered, nothing left to be seen. In that way, your perfection starts today. Now that is not to say that you won't slip up and sin again, marring the finish so to speak, but we can ask forgiveness again, apply the blood to that sin, thus on the road to "perfection" once again. What I'm saying, is that where heaven is different, life begins today!

The OT is actually a very good picture of what I am telling you, the animal sacrifice blood was placed as a covering for the sins of the people, that way God couldn't see the sin because the debt of life was paid and the blood covered it. But animal sacrifice only lasted for a season, Jesus sacrifice is for life. Does any of that make sense? Your "perfection" begins at belief, and extends into heaven.

 

[razzelflabben]

And something else I didn't mention is that with my current medical situation, "eternity" is very much something I am concerned about right now.

Medical situation? Please explain a bit more so I can follow your concern? Are you saying your dying? You want God to heal? You don't want your medical conditions to follow you into eternity? Not quite sure what your concern is here...

 

[Spunkn]

I dont think you will ever fully wrap your head around the word eternity. At least not until we get to heaven possibly.

In essence. It means God was always there. He had no beginning. He has no end. He has always been there, and He will always be there. Nothing created Him. He IS the beginning.

If we believe in Christ then we will spend "eternity" in Heaven. Forever and ever. God does not lie, so to me that's pretty exciting and of great hope. We spend an average of around 60-90 years here on Earth. It can be hard, it's rough. There's lots of pain in sorrow. But in God's eyes, it's merely a blink of a time (to use human words to describe it). Think of eternity compared to the little time we spend here.

Does that help at all?

 

[Spunkn]

concerned about a few things, but then I try to talk to God about these concerns (emotionally dumping some may call it) and ask for understanding, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that I was concerned. Well, more like worried and stressed

Just because you take things to God, doesn't mean He will automatically take away the worries and the concerns. When we go through something hard, something painful and we cry out to God he may give us peace and understanding at times, but the pain will often times still be there and still be very real.

That's not to say sometimes He doesn't take away the pain, but from my experience that is a very rare occasion. Often times the pain is a reminder that we can't do things alone. We need God to help us.

So don't get down yourself because you were still worried and concerned. Even "experienced" Christians deal with this.

 

[Cyprezz]

If I could quote now I would be razz, that was a wonderful analogy, thank you very much. and yes, I'm in a current situation that people would consider "dying", but it's honestly not something that I'm really worried about. I've always had a belief in God to a little extent, but when you're given a rough time period, you start thinking about things I've been ill for a while, but it's progressed recently. But it doesn't scare me, I've never been afraid of dying, I've just been afraid of the consequence of not having faith, (which to most people is the exact same thing) so I wanted to explore Christianity further, for both out of curiosity and interest (and a whole lot of "God, please help me" )

I'm sorry I'm always asking for help with concepts and such, but I just want to get my head around it. The more I talk within the Christian community, the more I learn, and the more my faith develops.

 

[Cyprezz]

And thank you spunkn for clarifying, I needed to hear that

 

[razzelflabben]

If I could quote now I would be razz, that was a wonderful analogy, thank you very much. and yes, I'm in a current situation that people would consider "dying", but it's honestly not something that I'm really worried about. I've always had a belief in God to a little extent, but when you're given a rough time period, you start thinking about things I've been ill for a while, but it's progressed recently. But it doesn't scare me, I've never been afraid of dying, I've just been afraid of the consequence of not having faith, (which to most people is the exact same thing) so I wanted to explore Christianity further, for both out of curiosity and interest (and a whole lot of "God, please help me" )

I'm sorry I'm always asking for help with concepts and such, but I just want to get my head around it. The more I talk within the Christian community, the more I learn, and the more my faith develops.

Talk away, and ask all the questions you want. From the standpoint of Jesus teachings, the focus is life, not heaven, many people get that all twisted up, I even expect some here to try to attack me over that comment. Christ is the prize so to speak, not heaven, heaven is just where the believer will live out his eternity. Look at it this way...Christ is the bridegroom of the Church, heaven is the place you will dwell with that groom. It's a beautiful place to be sure, the stuff of royalty, but the real prize is a marriage full of Love, a marriage full of patience, grace, kindness, the stuff of fairytales. In this analogy (which is biblical by the way) this time on this earth, is your courtship with Christ. You are getting to know one another, learning about each other, growing closer to one another. Heaven is where you will live together when you are married.

 

[Spunkn]

As the above said. Ask questions. Lots of them. There won't always be a clear answer, but the more you ask questions and get answers in your walk with God, the closer to Him you will become. The more reason and defense you will have for your faith. The more encouraging your faith will be to you.

You shouldn't be sorry for asking questions and asking for help. That's one of the reasons Christ wants us to be around other Christians. To do just that. Help each other. Challenge each other. Iron sharpens iron.

 

[seeking Christ]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

Still having issues though. I just can't get my head around "why" God would still love people like me who have screwed up so much and are continually turning their backs.

God IS Love. 1 John 3:1 Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God"

This is the Gospel! Amazing, isn't it? This is why we worship Him. This is why we sing to Him. And He rejoices over US, with singing!

Read the 17th chapter of John, get a feel for this

 

[seeking Christ]

I might be overreacting as I usually do, but does anyone have any thoughts or advice or words on this concept? Looks like I need community help once again

Lets look at a Jewish conception of the phrase "from everlasting to everlasting," as found here:

Psalm 90:2 Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou [art] God.

Psalm 103:17 But the mercy of the LORD [is] from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

Psalm 106:48 Blessed [be] the LORD God of Israel from everlasting to everlasting: and let all the people say, Amen. Praise ye the LORD."

I heard a Rabbi explain it that the same way we can see railroad tracks trail off into the distance and seem to merge together to become one rail, this "vanishing point" is what eternity is to convey to us. To the farthest reaches we can fathom, in either (every) direction.

Does that help?

 

[The-Doctor]

Cyprezz you are on the right path in trying and wanting to believe but maybe you are trying too hard..it's like trying to remember a phone number or something else important. The more you try the less it comes but if you let your mind drift away from it suddenly its there!

Yes pray and read the bible, speak with others but don't just talk to God also listen open your heart and mind and let them drift and The Lord will find His way into your heart and you will know belief.

God comes to us all in different ways, it's difficult to explain something as personal as belief but you will know it when it happens in your heart and soul and it will be unique to you. Don't give up. Pm me if I can help.

 

[Sojourner1]

Hi everyone, again.

Thank you, firstly, for your comments. They are very much appreciated.

I don't really know what to say other than I know I want to have faith, but getting and and sustaining it is what I am/will have trouble with. I've read so many things on here, and am starting reading the bible again, (highlighters for things I think just "jump out "), and I'm growing in belief as I learn and try to understand (which is proving quite difficult) but no matter how hard i try, my Faith doesn't seem to be becoming stronger. I want to put the entirety of my trust into God and Jesus Christ, I just don't know how. I've even began praying on the matter.

Thoughts or advice would be lovely; it's like I'm at war with myself. I want to be Christian, I just don't know where to start or continue.

Is there something holding you back from taking that step of faith and believing that Christ died for your sins? It seems that you have doubts and that those doubts are possibly keeping you from truly believing. Romans 10:9 says:

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

Can you believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord?

 

[Cyprezz]

Thanks again everyone for your replies, it really does mean a lot to me.
To answer your question Sojourner, I can, and do. As of my last post I've learnt so much and am able to understand so much more than I did. Though I don't have doubt that I believe, In my heart, in Jesus Christ, it's the "extent of my belief". I would gladly give up my life before renouncing my faith, but, perhaps that's just wishful thinking. In easier terms (I think): I don't doubt my faith, I doubt my heart. I believe, ive finally reached the stage of having trust in Jesus, but there's still a part of me that says "hah that's just wishful thinking, you have no faith".