Understanding Gods view on the Addict

[tunnelhckrat]

So I have a "close" family member that, due to their attitude and behavior, no longer have a place in my and my children's life.

I gave this person an ultimatum that included what they needed to do to have access to my family. Unfortunately, their childish and self centered attitude has prevented them from reacting favorably to this request.

I have also found out that the person has been abusing drugs, without knowing the details I can say they include xanex and methamphetamines. This person has since "quitted" the substance (in what appears to be a span of days) and seems to be adamant about fixing things.

Yet, I feel this is another "episode" where the second this person doesn't get what they want from me, they will throw a typical tantrum and go back, wasting everyone's time and effort.

Now my question is, what would God have me do? I certainly can love this person but I do not want my children to see and think this behavior is acceptable. Also, My spouse is much less forgiving and protective of the kids than I am. If God wants me to attempt this reconciliation how would my attitude towards this be?

 

[Mikeolive]

Whatever you do, I advise that you get an amazon book called Addiction Spiritual Roots. Many Christians may still have evil spirits of addiction, anger, depression, lust etc in their life that need to be cast out. You can only trust people if they have been set free of those evil spirits. The evil spirits behind the addiction must be cast out either by the person with the addiction or by someone else commanding the spirits out. The author of that book is a Christian who psychologist and psychiatrists refer people to when they cannot help. I have seen footage of him casting out evil spirits out of christians and then they would be set free from smoking, drugs, lust etc. They would say the desire is gone, and their family would testify.

 

[Inkfingers]

If God wants me to attempt this reconciliation how would my attitude towards this be?

Are you sure that God wants you to?

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” (2 Tim 3:2-5)

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor 6: 14)

“come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them” (2 Cor 6:17)

“Then I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of [Babylon], my people, lest you take part in her sins, lest you share in her plagues” (Rev 18:4)

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household” (Matt 10: 34-36)

A lot of people are under the impression that God is about unity, but that is not necessarily so...

Compassionately, but firmly, is the way to go on this. If someone brought a handgrenade to your house, would you want them around your children? No. You would not seek reconciliation with them unless they gave up handgrenades. The same applies to drug use.

 

[lindart]

As someone, who like you, have someone within the family who abuses alcohol and drugs, I understand your frustration. You are wise to protect your children from this. From what you have written, I sense that you are ' emotionally' conflicted about how to handle your loved one. I have two adult sons who are addicts. In spite of my very best efforts to help them, stints at rehab, counseling, cajoling and praying, they remain addicts. The best advice out there from former addicts and al anon will tell you that there is nothing anyone can do. It is up to the addict to want to change. They are right. Thousands of dollars later, countless sleepless nights and tears won't solve this problem. Let him know that when he is ready, you will drive him to the nearest treatment facility. Until then, they are on their own. And continue to pray, as I will continue to pray.

 

[tunnelhckrat]

Are you sure that God wants you to?

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people” (2 Tim 3:2-5)

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor 6: 14)

“come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them” (2 Cor 6:17)

“Then I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of [Babylon], my people, lest you take part in her sins, lest you share in her plagues” (Rev 18:4)

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household” (Matt 10: 34-36)

A lot of people are under the impression that God is about unity, but that is not necessarily so...

Compassionately, but firmly, is the way to go on this. If someone brought a handgrenade to your house, would you want them around your children? No. You would not seek reconciliation with them unless they gave up handgrenades. The same applies to drug use.

I cannot see God as wanting me to give up, I believe that through him there is always hope. I do realize that it is out of my hands though.

 

[tunnelhckrat]

Whatever you do, I advise that you get an amazon book called Addiction Spiritual Roots. Many Christians may still have evil spirits of addiction, anger, depression, lust etc in their life that need to be cast out. You can only trust people if they have been set free of those evil spirits. The evil spirits behind the addiction must be cast out either by the person with the addiction or by someone else commanding the spirits out. The author of that book is a Christian who psychologist and psychiatrists refer people to when they cannot help. I have seen footage of him casting out evil spirits out of christians and then they would be set free from smoking, drugs, lust etc. They would say the desire is gone, and their family would testify.

I will look into this, Thank you

 

[parsley]

Depending on how old your kids are, it might be easy to shift their schedules with little activities so time passes with fewer interactions. Add soccer games, music, youth groups where they see a broader range of people and can assess what's normal with more comparisons.

Send them on an errand when the person is coming over. Time will pass, and your resolve over your ultimatum won't be challenged as much. Your own strength will be challenged unless you help it out in advance.

When considering love, look at long-term and short-term. Is it more loving to forgive&forget, or lead them to resources where others can help them stop using? Picture their life ten years from now. A little shame of connecting with institutions, compared to a funeral where everyone says they saw it coming.