Um.... *tw: incest*

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

When I was younger (like between the ages of 10-13) one of my uncles used to touch me a lot and forced me to do a lot of sexual stuff with him, including a lot of times when he raped me orally, vaginally and anally.

I haven't seen him for a long time now though, and I'm still seeing a counselor about a lot of it.

 

[gerbilwoman]

So sorry to hear that. It wasn't your fault. I'm glad you are seeing a counselor. I was sexually assaulted in my childhood and still see a counselor.

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

He always told me I deserve it

 

[Johnnz]

He abused you sexually and verbally, a not uncommon occurrence with sexual predators.

Wonderfully Jesus is there to walk with you away from those times and into a future life with him while you are here on earth. Such is the greatness of His salvation.

John
NZ

 

[gerbilwoman]

He always told me I deserve it

You didn't deserve it, you deserve better.

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

Thanks

 

[Carmenere]

When I was younger (like between the ages of 10-13) one of my uncles used to touch me a lot and forced me to do a lot of sexual stuff with him, including a lot of times when he raped me orally, vaginally and anally.

I haven't seen him for a long time now though, and I'm still seeing a counselor about a lot of it.

Hello friend. That's brave of you to share something personal. There are some things I struggle with opening up. I hope I can help you out friend.

 

[KWCrazy]

Now you need to tell your family and the authorities. Pedophiles don't usually change their ways, only their victims. The animal belongs behind bars where he can't hurt any more young girls. Of course, they won't believe you at first. Be ready for that.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

It takes a lot of strength and courage to share the violation that you've experienced. That shows you can get through this. It's great you have a counselor - that is so important.

You didn't deserve it. Perps will say whatever they want to say to make their victims believe junk so they will stay in control, and stay out of trouble. They will say all kinds of stuff and make up all kinds of stuff.

Hang in there and know you aren't alone.

 

[eloquentspeaker14]

Thanks for sharing friend. God will deal with him .

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

Thanks guys

 

[LaSorcia]

He always told me I deserve it

He LIED!
Praying God heals you inside and out.

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

Thanks LaSorcia

 

[Dave-W]

When I was younger (like between the ages of 10-13) one of my uncles used to touch me a lot and forced me to do a lot of sexual stuff with him, including a lot of times when he raped me orally, vaginally and anally.

I haven't seen him for a long time now though, and I'm still seeing a counselor about a lot of it.

So sorry to hear of that; but apparently it is not uncommon.

My wife endured something similar from age 8 - 12. No penetration though. That was coupled by a church culture attitude that demonized sex and sexual feelings. That just compounded the problem.

I do not know how old you are but suspect that you are probably around 20? I am glad you are in counseling for this. That was not available back in our day. I hope that specific counseling is being done for the potential future sexual impact when you get married. But realistically, it will have an impact on future marital relations, and probably some of it cannot be addressed until after you are married.

Your abuse went on for years; very formative and vulnerable years. My wife would get physically ill when it came time to be intimate. Or angry. Both would knock out her desires and were an automatic response as part of her coping mechanisms. And IMO she detached herself from her sexuality and that has not been resolved yet even though we have been married 38 years.

And I would make a suggestion: PLEASE; when that guy gets down on his knee and presents you with his proposal for marriage; let him know what happened. I got blindsided by it a couple of months AFTER we were married; something I wish on no one.

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

I do not know how old you are but suspect that you are probably around 20?

I'm sixteen now.

 

[Dave-W]

I'm sixteen now.

So the abuse is still fresh. Wow. Please believe I will be praying for you a lot.

Have you had a very long talk with your mom (and maybe your dad) about all of this? If not, please do.

Since it is still recent, has bringing legal action against your uncle been discussed? In my wife's case, it had been too many years (over a decade) and the window for bringing charges had expired. My wife's abuser stopped abusing her when he got a girlfriend at about age 17. He married the gf and then did the same to his own daughters. He did some hard time for that.

It is my understanding that people like this (predators) need to be stopped or they will find other victims.

 

[Danoh]

I'm sixteen now.

There is a video on YouTube called The Decision Destroyer by Steve Andreas I highly recommend.

He and his wife, Connirae, also go into it in a chapter of their book Heart of Mind.

You matter, remember this.

 

[Dave-W]

I think we scared her off.....

 

[John Johnston]

I was abused by a man in my early teens. I was so ashamed of what was happening and I had no idea what to do. So I decided to never tell anyone and to take it to my grave. That was totally the wrong choice. It totally messed me up during my adult life. I finally through reading a book decided I needed to tell and get help. I told my pastor and started on a long hard road to get healing. I went through a lot of counselling. I finally learned it was not my fault and I did nothing to deserve what happened to me. Also I had to deal with "was I gay" because I did nothing to stop it. When you are a kid you do not have the knowledge to know what to do. It is normal not to tell anyone. I lived in shame and learned that I should not live in shame. Shame is you did something wrong. But you and I did nothing wrong.

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. God loves you and wants you to get through this and get healing. You must use a good councillor that knows how to deal with the trauma of sexual abuse.

It is OK to cry your eyes out. I sure did after I told my pastor. It felt so good to just let the emotions out. It is even OK to be made at God. I told God all my feelings even though He already knew how I felt. I laid it all out to God. I told Him I was mad that He let it happen. I still sometimes don't understand why He did not stop it if He loved me so much. So tell God all your feelings. I told Him out loud and sometimes yelled at Him. My pastor encouraged me to do this. I am not mad at God anymore.

It took me about 5 years to get to where I am now.

So seek all the help you need. God as given us some good councillors to help us. It is not being weak to seek help from these people. Some may say "just turn it over to God and it will be OK". God will help you but He gives us people here to help us and you need to use the help.

Also I waited way too long for the legal system to deal with my abuser. I had to deal with that too. I would strongly suggest, with the help of your parents or councillor, to press charges on this man. It will be a great help in your healing. It will help you to see him pay for what he did through our legal system. I many times wished I could seen my abuser in jail. I didn't but my abuser died a few years back and I believe he had to stand before God and answer for what he did. I believe that conversation with my abuser and God didn't go well for my abuser. So I know he got the punishment he deserved. He is going to have to spend all eternity reviewing what he did as will your abuser. Mine thought he got away with what he did but he didn't.

So get the help you need now and what happened to you does not have to define your adult life. You can still have a great life and a great marriage some day. Yes it will take work but I can tell you from my experience that in the end the work will be worth it. It is not fair that you and I have to go through this pain but when you are finally healed you will be a better person then you ever thought you could be. What happened will always be a memory to you but it does not have to hurt like a open wound the rest of your life. It will just be a memory.

I hope my ramblings made sense to you and can help you in some way. If you have any questions for me please ask.

I will be praying for you.

John

 

[MyGodIsStrongerThanI]

Sorry it's been so long, people.

Thank you for all your support. I appreciate it a lot and I'll pray that God blesses all of you.

I'm eighteen now and my uncle's been in prison for a while (where I'm told he's largely unpopular because apparently they dislike pedophiles there). I'm still in therapy, but I thin my anxiety and PTSD are getting pretty close to a point where they're manageable so long as I have the right medication and therapy; and I'll graduate high school next month.