Turn father in to police???

[crossrunner]

Daiselady
You may want to go to an Alanon meeting. It can be helpful when there is an alcoholic in the family. You can gain support from others and your mother can learn about being an enabler.

I am very sorry for this most difficult situation. But I have learned that an alcoholic will continue to drink until he decides to stop and deals with the problems that drive him to drink.

In other words, more than likely your mother will lay down boundaries, he will promise to be "good", he will slip and hide it, then be back into it again and somehow blame HER for his slipping back... "If you really loved me, you do not meet my needs.... If you were a better wife.... I am lonely because you...."

Anyway, Alanon maybe something you may want to try with your mother. It maybe healthy for your family.

Great advice!

 

[loribee59]

Just an Update on this one....


3) My dad is still doing drugs and is obviously not going to stop or even try to stop. Being in jail would make him stop.
4) Since he is a prior felon, he will probably be charged with check forgery, 10-15 counts (for each check) and probably have to serve time for it. This will give him the time to detox from the drugs, and go through some counseling, and distance himself from the street gangs hes been involved with.

#3: Being in jail will only keep him there for a while, but it will NOT stop from wanting drugs, UNLESS he gets inside help thru a program provided by the jail.

#4: Forging checks as an ex-felon, is a FEDERAL crime. He should be in a federal prison for that charge!

How do I know that? My brother, Mike is an ex-felon who had been in prison THREE times. The third time was in a federal prison because he forged a check. AND, keeping him prison for the last two times, doesn't keep him from using drugs, either. What a sad way to live! He wasted 22 years of anger, drugs, guns (he used guns--twice), & prison. And my family wants nothing to do with him. By being tough with him, it will force him to face himself and his issues. Sadly to say, from what I've been hearing recently from others, he hadn't.

One of Mike's parole officers long ago had very harsh words about those who steal from family members...and his opinion is that they are the lowest of the lower scum of the earth, compared to perfect strangers. And I'm sorry to say that fits your dad. He MUST be stopped. Your mom putting up with it, will only make it WORSE. You and your mom MUST protect yourselves from his destructive acts, and by doing that, it will HOPEFULLY force him to see the damage he had done over the years. You CANNOT afford to be wishy washy or soft....PROTECT YOURSELVES. I'm very very serious about this. I can't stress it enough. That could mean kicking him out of the house. That could mean getting him arrested again. And never mind what people think....only concern yourself what GOD thinks!

DO NOT ENABLE HIM AGAIN.

Keep us updated, and let us know how things are going for you and your mom.

take care, and God bless!

~Lori

 

[SoulFly51]

I am ready to go to the bank/police with this issue. I am wondering though...
1) Can the police do anything about it if it was her husband that did it? (We live in Wisconsin if anyone happens to know how police work around here)
2) Will the bank do anything about it?
3) Since it was fraud, without her permission, do you think after an investigation, the bank would refund the money?
4) Do you think I should go report this even though my mother seems unwilling to?

Thanks.

1) The police can't do anything if your mother won't press charges.

2) Probably not, but if they did it would be only after your mother presses charges.

3) Only if your mother presses charges.

4) This is the most important thing I have to say. Yes you should report this - report it to the leaders of your church and have them speak with your mother. That is why they are there.


Is your father on probation or parole? If so, speak with his parole officer if you can. Let him know what is going on - it is his job to keep your father in line now that he is out of prison. It sounds to me like he hasn't learned his lesson yet ...

Keep praying - and keep believing.

I hope this has helped you ...


God Bless!

-Wes

 

[TheMainException]

Dearest sister, sometimes the hardest thing to do is turn in your own father...but I would do it...but that might just be because my father and I aren't on good terms. But your father could get hurt or killed, turning him in could really help him out.