Please take the time to read. I really need help!
OK, I am in need of some serious help. I am very confused. My relationship with my boyfriend has left me very unsure of what to do. Let me first say that we are 22 and 23 years old. We have been together for a little over 3 years. Like 90% of relationships we have had ups and downs. He is an awesome boyfriend on some issues ( took me on a cruise for my 21st birthday, treats me with respect, family loves him, hes 22 and closing on a house at the end of July! and of course I think hes handsome! Lol this among many other things that has made me fall in love with him) Hes wise and mature beyond his years. Well in 2007 we hit our first bump. I found out he was hanging out with a much older woman from his job, Im not going to lie, I was very unhappy and acted very ungodly! Lol but Im human. I forgave him almost too soon. He was sincere and addressed the issue wit the woman. Shes a co-worker. ugh! Letting my flesh get the best of me, I retaliated by having an inappropriate relationship with an old crush from H.S. It was inappropriate through text not physical. He forgave me. We decided to work on our relationship much harder. Well maybe 7, 8 months later I come across his myspace where he is sending inappropriate messages to random women. I once again acted insane. Told myself I was done with him and I would move on. But I couldnt seem to shake him. We decided that we would go on a break. But we didnt really act as though we were on a break. This past March I find out that at the end of 2008 he was sleeping with another co-worker. He says it was wrong but we were not technically together. But he was so sorry and that he couldnt live without me. Now I am in no way perfect. The same guy I was talking to from H.S. I cheated with this past January. But I was in need of knowing if there was something I was missing out on if I stayed with my bf. I did come to the conclusion that I was extremely happy where I was at. He has no idea that this happened.. We did on for awhile. But we were in a long distance relationship from Feb. to May and he said he needed some time because he was unsure of my faithfulness. Which during, he was going on dates with females. I am very steamed about this bcuz he keeps going back and forth! Well, in May of this year he told me that he was going to cut all the crap out and he was going to give all of his efforts to us. (A self-initiated statement). His personal flaws that I had complained about he had begun to work on. And he had seemingly been a whole diff person. He was making me so happy. I mean we were almost perfect! Well, I once again found inappropriate messages in myspace to a girl in Arkansas where his roommate is from and they go down to visit his family some times. He tells me that he was just playing with the girl. And that he has never done anything nor plan to do anything with her. But I am sooo tired. I changed my # and havent seen him in almost 2 weeks. He keeps trying to say that he is sorry and so in love with me by e-mail. I respond but sometimes not at all. I know my relationship sounds sooooo terrible. But these things have been spread out over a period of 3 years. We r young. We want to get married. Of course a few years from now. We want to have children together. We both say we cant see our lives without the other. Im afraid that I am going to continue to go through this cycle with him. He says he doesnt know y he does the stuff he does. I do know that there are hardly any married ppl n his family. Could this be a generational curse? He really doesnt have many good relationship examples in his life. He also says he doesnt trust many ppl. My parents r married to other ppl. But I have examples. I dont wanna keep ignoring him because I feel like Im trying to take the punishing in my own hands and thats Gods job. But I dont know if God is telling me to move on, work with this man, or what! I start law school in Aug. and I dont want him to be a distraction. My wishes is that we go to counseling and attend church together on Sundays and that he deletes his myspace. I do want to forgive him. But I dont want to be a fool. Im so confused as to what my next move should be. As a Christian what should I do and how can I help my relationship. I do believe that he wants to be with me. I do believe that God puts us through things for a reason. Idk if he makes these mistakes because he is young or what. But I want them addressed. We r going to meet and talk later this week. What should I discuss? Where do I begin. Im so torn. I for once am standing strong and im not so hurt this time around. But I am tired. I just want a good relationship. But Im not sure what God wants for me. I sometimes hear let it go. But then I hear that there is a bigger picture. There are underlying issues in this relationship that I think counseling could help. What do you think?? HELP. Look beyond the cheating and scandal. Nobody is perfect so some mistakes r gong to be mad. If you have a word from God please share.
OK, I am in need of some serious help. I am very confused. My relationship with my boyfriend has left me very unsure of what to do. Let me first say that we are 22 and 23 years old. We have been together for a little over 3 years. Like 90% of relationships we have had ups and downs. He is an awesome boyfriend on some issues ( took me on a cruise for my 21st birthday, treats me with respect, family loves him, hes 22 and closing on a house at the end of July! and of course I think hes handsome! Lol this among many other things that has made me fall in love with him) Hes wise and mature beyond his years. Well in 2007 we hit our first bump. I found out he was hanging out with a much older woman from his job, Im not going to lie, I was very unhappy and acted very ungodly! Lol but Im human. I forgave him almost too soon. He was sincere and addressed the issue wit the woman. Shes a co-worker. ugh! Letting my flesh get the best of me, I retaliated by having an inappropriate relationship with an old crush from H.S. It was inappropriate through text not physical. He forgave me. We decided to work on our relationship much harder. Well maybe 7, 8 months later I come across his myspace where he is sending inappropriate messages to random women. I once again acted insane. Told myself I was done with him and I would move on. But I couldnt seem to shake him. We decided that we would go on a break. But we didnt really act as though we were on a break. This past March I find out that at the end of 2008 he was sleeping with another co-worker. He says it was wrong but we were not technically together. But he was so sorry and that he couldnt live without me. Now I am in no way perfect. The same guy I was talking to from H.S. I cheated with this past January. But I was in need of knowing if there was something I was missing out on if I stayed with my bf. I did come to the conclusion that I was extremely happy where I was at. He has no idea that this happened.. We did on for awhile. But we were in a long distance relationship from Feb. to May and he said he needed some time because he was unsure of my faithfulness. Which during, he was going on dates with females. I am very steamed about this bcuz he keeps going back and forth! Well, in May of this year he told me that he was going to cut all the crap out and he was going to give all of his efforts to us. (A self-initiated statement). His personal flaws that I had complained about he had begun to work on. And he had seemingly been a whole diff person. He was making me so happy. I mean we were almost perfect! Well, I once again found inappropriate messages in myspace to a girl in Arkansas where his roommate is from and they go down to visit his family some times. He tells me that he was just playing with the girl. And that he has never done anything nor plan to do anything with her. But I am sooo tired. I changed my # and havent seen him in almost 2 weeks. He keeps trying to say that he is sorry and so in love with me by e-mail. I respond but sometimes not at all. I know my relationship sounds sooooo terrible. But these things have been spread out over a period of 3 years. We r young. We want to get married. Of course a few years from now. We want to have children together. We both say we cant see our lives without the other. Im afraid that I am going to continue to go through this cycle with him. He says he doesnt know y he does the stuff he does. I do know that there are hardly any married ppl n his family. Could this be a generational curse? He really doesnt have many good relationship examples in his life. He also says he doesnt trust many ppl. My parents r married to other ppl. But I have examples. I dont wanna keep ignoring him because I feel like Im trying to take the punishing in my own hands and thats Gods job. But I dont know if God is telling me to move on, work with this man, or what! I start law school in Aug. and I dont want him to be a distraction. My wishes is that we go to counseling and attend church together on Sundays and that he deletes his myspace. I do want to forgive him. But I dont want to be a fool. Im so confused as to what my next move should be. As a Christian what should I do and how can I help my relationship. I do believe that he wants to be with me. I do believe that God puts us through things for a reason. Idk if he makes these mistakes because he is young or what. But I want them addressed. We r going to meet and talk later this week. What should I discuss? Where do I begin. Im so torn. I for once am standing strong and im not so hurt this time around. But I am tired. I just want a good relationship. But Im not sure what God wants for me. I sometimes hear let it go. But then I hear that there is a bigger picture. There are underlying issues in this relationship that I think counseling could help. What do you think?? HELP. Look beyond the cheating and scandal. Nobody is perfect so some mistakes r gong to be mad. If you have a word from God please share.
