Number of weird, long, vivid dreams this week...
The dream last night had at the first this door I really needed to open for some reason. It had two locks, one on either side of the door. They were about a foot in diameter, square, impassable but for "tuning".
I had seen, just a few nights before, the movie Dark City, and the concept of "tuning" was "being able to effect material reality with your mind".
In the dream, I was boggled over what it could be, but saw the specifications of it. Somehow, the locks required firing a ton of radio waves at it across many different frequencies.
Only later did I realize this simply meant it was a radio receiver, and the technology could not be more simple or common. That it simply listened to a singular frequency, like any radio which was tuned to a bandwidth.
At the time, the whole concept seemed alien and far advanced in technology.
...
At the time, I was part of some kind of secret team, security, and was in a bottom floor full of cubicles, intermixed with regular people. It was a cubicle maze but had the feeling of an old wooden office of higher class and style.
There was no ceiling, and there was no walls. To every side, it seemed there was a tremendous drop off into who knows what. Above, there seemed to be other floors, far above, but there were no floors, the floors were as transparent.
There was someone else like me who also had a gun. I thought I had better check my gun. I go into the bathroom, and it was a small cubicle covered with nasty graffitti. At first, when I looked at it, it had some nasty saying on it to anyone who used it. Then, I read around, and noticed I was mistaken. It was simply appearing that way until someone read all of it, which were anonymous exchanges between people that was actually polite, though strange.
I considered that for privacy, the bathroom was bad at that, as it was against the "wall" which was not there, and across the way, like with another skyscraper was another such invisible skyscraper -- so people could conceivably seen in, if they looked. The only privacy was that afforded by the cabinets. Otherwise, everything looked out into space.
I then make my way out and up, and onto an airplane. It had four rows with four chairs on each row and was very crowded, but I was near the front.
After a few moments, the plane emptied, and I followed a trailing outside, informal path. I ended up having to sit on some temporary seats. I was in the NFL but did not look it at all, and some people asked if everyone in the NFL would raise their hands. I did, but hoped no one would notice.
Then, they insisted on proving this by tossing a ball around between the various NFL members, only it was just some shirt or something. People were that gung ho about showing off their tossing and catching prowess.
I felt I would do very bad at this, and in general did not want to stand out, hoping I would have been forgotten in the crowd. But this guy to my left did notice my hand raising and threw it to me, this happened multiple times. I actually caught the thing thrown at all weigh angles, impossibly, and better then anyone else.
(Recalling this reminds me the night before I read on a website about how linebackers were considered the dumbest guys, just big idiots, but actually scored highest on intellectual tests then anyone else.)
I figured the plane was just "not yet", and in actuality, I was not in "the NFL", nor anything like that, but in some kind of secret army. So, this was just not the plane yet, and this bothered me. I had various camo and equipment, and would just have to wait.
It was now like I was homeless, and so, had to wait in this big mall. This I accepted with the attitude of like a professional survivalist. I recall going into the mall, and simply focusing on staying invisible in the crowd.
I intended to go to the top floor, and waited at the elevator, avoiding the more crowded elevators. I imagined there I might find some offices where I could sleep and stay awhile.
Only again, the building was transparent, and this time, the elevator I choose had no elevator passageway, so it appeared extremely dangerous when it appeared.
It stopped, some got off, I watched the first time to see how it worked.
A guy next to me bent down and grabbed some ID and a credit card someone had dropped. I had noticed people did this a lot, and pointed out to him that though he looked well dressed he probably made his living this way. He agreed. I looked down and saw five dollars my own self, picked it up, and more was there.
There was just that many people, and just that much traffic.
The next time I got on the elevator and everyone else got left behind, it was just me. It did go very far up, and was scary to be on. It was just a moving platform, with no walls nor ceiling, and the floor was transparent.
It went past the upper offices, which were psychology offices, and then left the building, going across a wire, across the "city". This part of the city was far out and far below was a rough area, with kids playing in the giant tire track holes. It appeared to be the area where wrestling fans took their kids who were also fans of it, and they were all fighting, one against another.
I wondered at this, at first despising them, then considered "too each their own" and considered "who knows how they themselves view these strange rituals".
All around were walls, like this whole place was a giant mud pit in a giant house.
I made it to one far corner, which was high up and was like the hole in the hallway, like with a war zone, where the hallway just ended. Getting inside, getting off the elevator, I found it was just like an ordinary shopping center, far into it.
I got some good I needed, then considered, "how will I pay for this?" As somewhere in this walking around, I had seen my motel I was staying at across the street, which was crappy, but temporary, and was a large building. It had its' own shopping center and everything, but nothing what I needed.
In all of that, I had found that I had paper towels and other goods from a totally different shop. Like just walking around one went from one shop to the next.
I got onto the elevator again, and it was low, now, and went over all the shops. Below me, they all had walls, but no ceiling, where I was. I passed over all the shoppers and cash registers, and started to pass over the private offices. Looking down, I saw a money manager's office with cash splayed out everywhere and considered how vulnerable that was to people on the elevator.
It stopped at the end of the building, and I dropped down. I was in some area where no one could go without strict ID, but I walked out of the place - some kind of bank - simply ignoring any statements. Clearly, I had come from the otherside, so there was no need to check anything with me, as I was leaving.
...
A bit later, I was at my old childhood home, and showing my son my homemade bazooka. I had made one as a kid. He had made one, too. There was military outside, so I thought I probably should not fire it. Again, the door was open, and the walls were incomplete, even here.
I went in the backyard and it was swampy. But, I navigated around, until I got to the house next door which was in a state of disrepair, as it was at one time in my childhood when the old lady that lived there died and left it abandoned.
Here, in context, the broken walls and floors made sense, though in all of this I never considered any of this odd.
It all ended with me going into the house, far at the back, where I had to walk along a line, again, and below was a very far drop. At the very end of the line was a schoolbook, where I had a small ad that was also a forum. At this forum, I had a crush on this girl, and had hoped she would notice me. I was back in that HS crush mode and it was like I had hoped my bravery and all was seen by her, typical weird crush stuff.
The forum, though, was literally some ad in the yearbook, yet somehow it was able to be typed into, or like typing into, only no keyboard. I had a brief conversation with her, and she commented on how scary all of (the above) must have been.
Her dad was like some kind of Evil Knievel, though he had left her, and she was light years cooler then me (in my own head). Yet, she was also somehow like these other school age girls I had a crush on, usually distant and older.
I was a bit taken back, like "me scared", I considered I was scared, but that was normal, and I dealt with it. But, I left that considering, "I lost it with her, darn", and found myself completely in that weird, awkward teenage consciousness.
... I then woke up and realized how that place was so light years different from where I am now, how my own wife in real life (I was not married in the dream as is usually the case) looks exactly like that high school crush (something I was totally oblivious to until recently)... I also considered how she looked like this girl I had a crush on in kindergarten... and considered how a friend of mine commented on people with unavailable moms had crushes on unavailable women...
Still, I wondered on the state of consciousness at the time, and what on earth I saw in her. Or how I ever could have been in that situation.
On writing this out, I considered, "what yearbook ad", I had recently come across a copy of the old yearbook, and then considered that it must have been *her* little signature she gave, which was a quote from my favorite writer at the time.
... no idea on what the dream means, the elevator reminds me in retrospect of the elevator in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... the line reminds me of summer camp, the one thing I was good at was at falling down those lines far above the lake and dropping down into tires in the water... I could do it better then anyone else, but it hurt really bad... which left a lasting impression about "doing what we are good at".
....
The night before, I also had a long dream, at first, was on top of a long outcropping on a cliff looking down over a bunch of people sleeping in a very dark place. Rock covered some of their sleeping area, so they were half underground, half not.
A guy next to me said some long, serious sounding, shamanistic like thing, and I made some manner of sarcastic, quiet comment which did not please him, but he largely ignored it.
I then jumped down into the people, but let them sleep.
I walked past a campfire, into an apartment and was now in a rinky dink apartment.
I was concerned the campfire was underweight, but walking past I saw someone weighted it down by leaving three dead black birds, ravens, next to it. One became a very large cat.
(The next day, this reminded me of references for a job I was finishing up signing up with. One did not respond, and I found someone else for that.)
Some neighbors came in and were socializing, as was often the case when I was younger. They were a mixmash of them.
A skinny, blonde woman was there, she seemed to be hiding from someone. She was skinny like too skinny. She was also very quiet. She seemed to have a drug problem and an bad boyfriend problem, but stayed on the bed, only place to sit.
The others left, and I found her companionship warming, though she said nothing and seemed to be hiding from something and someone.
That only triggered the "help someone out in need" part of me, though.
We briefly made out, but neither was into it, it was more like just a ritual.
(Which reminded me of one of my friend's from long ago, and a mixmash of them... only she was more attractive here, and as usual, quiet.)
We then went next door to her place, which was more sunny. I was in trouble with the football league for agreeing with someone on another team's off work criticisms, and saw him get punished, which was having to put a ballpoint pen to a wall.
I went back to the apartment and had to wait for the game. I was on a football team with little kids. I would have, as punishment, or guarding, some giant from the other team who were all adults on me the whole game.
Waiting, the woman was in bed, sitting up, totally silent, and a cop who was also my HS principal was there as a detective, I felt to make sure I did not stay with this woman. (Though I was not married in the dream.)
The game started, and it was in a school field, but had a fence running through it. I considered how this was dumb, the other half of the field would have been fine to play the game on if it was run vertically.
But, so the game went, and the kids passed the ball amongst each other, but kept failing. I was frustrated, because I could make the touchdown, even with this giant on me the whole game.
He was nice enough, but way too close, like he was always physically over me.
I finally imagined getting the ball and imagined taking it, and I had it and ran to the touchdown line easily. But then I saw the guy on me had his hands on the ball, but did not pry it from me. Would it be counted for my side or theirs? I considered not crossing, but crossed anyway.
The dream last night had at the first this door I really needed to open for some reason. It had two locks, one on either side of the door. They were about a foot in diameter, square, impassable but for "tuning".
I had seen, just a few nights before, the movie Dark City, and the concept of "tuning" was "being able to effect material reality with your mind".
In the dream, I was boggled over what it could be, but saw the specifications of it. Somehow, the locks required firing a ton of radio waves at it across many different frequencies.
Only later did I realize this simply meant it was a radio receiver, and the technology could not be more simple or common. That it simply listened to a singular frequency, like any radio which was tuned to a bandwidth.
At the time, the whole concept seemed alien and far advanced in technology.
...
At the time, I was part of some kind of secret team, security, and was in a bottom floor full of cubicles, intermixed with regular people. It was a cubicle maze but had the feeling of an old wooden office of higher class and style.
There was no ceiling, and there was no walls. To every side, it seemed there was a tremendous drop off into who knows what. Above, there seemed to be other floors, far above, but there were no floors, the floors were as transparent.
There was someone else like me who also had a gun. I thought I had better check my gun. I go into the bathroom, and it was a small cubicle covered with nasty graffitti. At first, when I looked at it, it had some nasty saying on it to anyone who used it. Then, I read around, and noticed I was mistaken. It was simply appearing that way until someone read all of it, which were anonymous exchanges between people that was actually polite, though strange.
I considered that for privacy, the bathroom was bad at that, as it was against the "wall" which was not there, and across the way, like with another skyscraper was another such invisible skyscraper -- so people could conceivably seen in, if they looked. The only privacy was that afforded by the cabinets. Otherwise, everything looked out into space.
I then make my way out and up, and onto an airplane. It had four rows with four chairs on each row and was very crowded, but I was near the front.
After a few moments, the plane emptied, and I followed a trailing outside, informal path. I ended up having to sit on some temporary seats. I was in the NFL but did not look it at all, and some people asked if everyone in the NFL would raise their hands. I did, but hoped no one would notice.
Then, they insisted on proving this by tossing a ball around between the various NFL members, only it was just some shirt or something. People were that gung ho about showing off their tossing and catching prowess.
I felt I would do very bad at this, and in general did not want to stand out, hoping I would have been forgotten in the crowd. But this guy to my left did notice my hand raising and threw it to me, this happened multiple times. I actually caught the thing thrown at all weigh angles, impossibly, and better then anyone else.
(Recalling this reminds me the night before I read on a website about how linebackers were considered the dumbest guys, just big idiots, but actually scored highest on intellectual tests then anyone else.)
I figured the plane was just "not yet", and in actuality, I was not in "the NFL", nor anything like that, but in some kind of secret army. So, this was just not the plane yet, and this bothered me. I had various camo and equipment, and would just have to wait.
It was now like I was homeless, and so, had to wait in this big mall. This I accepted with the attitude of like a professional survivalist. I recall going into the mall, and simply focusing on staying invisible in the crowd.
I intended to go to the top floor, and waited at the elevator, avoiding the more crowded elevators. I imagined there I might find some offices where I could sleep and stay awhile.
Only again, the building was transparent, and this time, the elevator I choose had no elevator passageway, so it appeared extremely dangerous when it appeared.
It stopped, some got off, I watched the first time to see how it worked.
A guy next to me bent down and grabbed some ID and a credit card someone had dropped. I had noticed people did this a lot, and pointed out to him that though he looked well dressed he probably made his living this way. He agreed. I looked down and saw five dollars my own self, picked it up, and more was there.
There was just that many people, and just that much traffic.
The next time I got on the elevator and everyone else got left behind, it was just me. It did go very far up, and was scary to be on. It was just a moving platform, with no walls nor ceiling, and the floor was transparent.
It went past the upper offices, which were psychology offices, and then left the building, going across a wire, across the "city". This part of the city was far out and far below was a rough area, with kids playing in the giant tire track holes. It appeared to be the area where wrestling fans took their kids who were also fans of it, and they were all fighting, one against another.
I wondered at this, at first despising them, then considered "too each their own" and considered "who knows how they themselves view these strange rituals".
All around were walls, like this whole place was a giant mud pit in a giant house.
I made it to one far corner, which was high up and was like the hole in the hallway, like with a war zone, where the hallway just ended. Getting inside, getting off the elevator, I found it was just like an ordinary shopping center, far into it.
I got some good I needed, then considered, "how will I pay for this?" As somewhere in this walking around, I had seen my motel I was staying at across the street, which was crappy, but temporary, and was a large building. It had its' own shopping center and everything, but nothing what I needed.
In all of that, I had found that I had paper towels and other goods from a totally different shop. Like just walking around one went from one shop to the next.
I got onto the elevator again, and it was low, now, and went over all the shops. Below me, they all had walls, but no ceiling, where I was. I passed over all the shoppers and cash registers, and started to pass over the private offices. Looking down, I saw a money manager's office with cash splayed out everywhere and considered how vulnerable that was to people on the elevator.
It stopped at the end of the building, and I dropped down. I was in some area where no one could go without strict ID, but I walked out of the place - some kind of bank - simply ignoring any statements. Clearly, I had come from the otherside, so there was no need to check anything with me, as I was leaving.
...
A bit later, I was at my old childhood home, and showing my son my homemade bazooka. I had made one as a kid. He had made one, too. There was military outside, so I thought I probably should not fire it. Again, the door was open, and the walls were incomplete, even here.
I went in the backyard and it was swampy. But, I navigated around, until I got to the house next door which was in a state of disrepair, as it was at one time in my childhood when the old lady that lived there died and left it abandoned.
Here, in context, the broken walls and floors made sense, though in all of this I never considered any of this odd.
It all ended with me going into the house, far at the back, where I had to walk along a line, again, and below was a very far drop. At the very end of the line was a schoolbook, where I had a small ad that was also a forum. At this forum, I had a crush on this girl, and had hoped she would notice me. I was back in that HS crush mode and it was like I had hoped my bravery and all was seen by her, typical weird crush stuff.
The forum, though, was literally some ad in the yearbook, yet somehow it was able to be typed into, or like typing into, only no keyboard. I had a brief conversation with her, and she commented on how scary all of (the above) must have been.
Her dad was like some kind of Evil Knievel, though he had left her, and she was light years cooler then me (in my own head). Yet, she was also somehow like these other school age girls I had a crush on, usually distant and older.
I was a bit taken back, like "me scared", I considered I was scared, but that was normal, and I dealt with it. But, I left that considering, "I lost it with her, darn", and found myself completely in that weird, awkward teenage consciousness.
... I then woke up and realized how that place was so light years different from where I am now, how my own wife in real life (I was not married in the dream as is usually the case) looks exactly like that high school crush (something I was totally oblivious to until recently)... I also considered how she looked like this girl I had a crush on in kindergarten... and considered how a friend of mine commented on people with unavailable moms had crushes on unavailable women...
Still, I wondered on the state of consciousness at the time, and what on earth I saw in her. Or how I ever could have been in that situation.
On writing this out, I considered, "what yearbook ad", I had recently come across a copy of the old yearbook, and then considered that it must have been *her* little signature she gave, which was a quote from my favorite writer at the time.
... no idea on what the dream means, the elevator reminds me in retrospect of the elevator in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... the line reminds me of summer camp, the one thing I was good at was at falling down those lines far above the lake and dropping down into tires in the water... I could do it better then anyone else, but it hurt really bad... which left a lasting impression about "doing what we are good at".
....
The night before, I also had a long dream, at first, was on top of a long outcropping on a cliff looking down over a bunch of people sleeping in a very dark place. Rock covered some of their sleeping area, so they were half underground, half not.
A guy next to me said some long, serious sounding, shamanistic like thing, and I made some manner of sarcastic, quiet comment which did not please him, but he largely ignored it.
I then jumped down into the people, but let them sleep.
I walked past a campfire, into an apartment and was now in a rinky dink apartment.
I was concerned the campfire was underweight, but walking past I saw someone weighted it down by leaving three dead black birds, ravens, next to it. One became a very large cat.
(The next day, this reminded me of references for a job I was finishing up signing up with. One did not respond, and I found someone else for that.)
Some neighbors came in and were socializing, as was often the case when I was younger. They were a mixmash of them.
A skinny, blonde woman was there, she seemed to be hiding from someone. She was skinny like too skinny. She was also very quiet. She seemed to have a drug problem and an bad boyfriend problem, but stayed on the bed, only place to sit.
The others left, and I found her companionship warming, though she said nothing and seemed to be hiding from something and someone.
That only triggered the "help someone out in need" part of me, though.
We briefly made out, but neither was into it, it was more like just a ritual.
(Which reminded me of one of my friend's from long ago, and a mixmash of them... only she was more attractive here, and as usual, quiet.)
We then went next door to her place, which was more sunny. I was in trouble with the football league for agreeing with someone on another team's off work criticisms, and saw him get punished, which was having to put a ballpoint pen to a wall.
I went back to the apartment and had to wait for the game. I was on a football team with little kids. I would have, as punishment, or guarding, some giant from the other team who were all adults on me the whole game.
Waiting, the woman was in bed, sitting up, totally silent, and a cop who was also my HS principal was there as a detective, I felt to make sure I did not stay with this woman. (Though I was not married in the dream.)
The game started, and it was in a school field, but had a fence running through it. I considered how this was dumb, the other half of the field would have been fine to play the game on if it was run vertically.
But, so the game went, and the kids passed the ball amongst each other, but kept failing. I was frustrated, because I could make the touchdown, even with this giant on me the whole game.
He was nice enough, but way too close, like he was always physically over me.
I finally imagined getting the ball and imagined taking it, and I had it and ran to the touchdown line easily. But then I saw the guy on me had his hands on the ball, but did not pry it from me. Would it be counted for my side or theirs? I considered not crossing, but crossed anyway.
