trying again

[writer4him]

Yes, i have posted thias poem here before, and i got absolutly no response that could help improve it, and that's what i'm really looking for. So please say something. If i don't get response this time i will stop asking for it, and just trust that this is how God wants my poem to be submitted. It just feels weird for me to submit a poem to something without having worked on it with the help of others. It feels like i'm just throughing my baby (no i dont have a baby) out into the world if that makes any sense. so here it is...again.

One day judgement will come
No one will be left out
Everyone's fate will be decided

Loved ones will dissapear
In an instant
For the wrath of the lamb will come
Everyone will see it, but

Only the true believers will understand
Non-believers will be confused
Each person with their own opinion

Choose the right one to go to
Heaven
And live for eternity
Nothing else can save you
Come into the light today
Everyday that comes could be your last.

What will you do with the time you've been given?

 

[curlyblue]

I think it is pretty good the way it is.

 

[bornagainkt]

thats great stuff! love it!!

 

[VickiY]

It has spelling issues, and some conceptual issues....ONE LIFE ONE CHANCE? We do get many chances to accept Him during our lives!