Not sure if this is the right section or not but here goes.
I guess I should give some background first. I'm a 20 year old college student. I dated this girl for 13 months (1/06-2/07) and we broke up because of something I did physically with her. She said that she had been praying to God for a sign to know if we were meant to be or not and she took that moment where I went too far physically as God saying that we weren't meant to be. At the time she told me that she no longer liked me, but a couple months after we broke up, she told me that she did. We remained close friends a year after we broke up but have not spoken much since. Anyways, she has moved on (dated a couple guys since then, she almost kissed me while she was dating the first one) but i haven't dated anyone since; I have tried to like other girls but none of them even come close to her. I'm still in love with her. I guess it is also worth mentioning that my best friend for many years started hanging out with her and a couple other people after she and I broke up...that hurt (havent spoke to him since). I've been trying on my own to get back together with her but all attempts have not been successful. But recently, I have been reading my Bible a lot and have realized (and was confirmed one Sunday in church) that He wants me to stop trying to solve the situation on my own and to give it to Him. Needless to say a) I like feeling like I'm in control of my life and b) it made me feel like I was never going to be with her again and that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone. But I prayed and God told me that I need to trust in Him and to let His will be done, not mine. I cried myself to sleep that night but the next day I felt a little better (this was last week). My birthday was yesterday and I spent it alone, and I guess it just brought all my fears and worries back (that there is no one out there for me, that she and I aren't getting back together, and that I will always be alone).
Anyways, I said all that to ask: How do I trust God when I'm scared to lose what little I have left? I know He has what's best for me but it's still scary. I know what the Bible says but it doesnt feel like it's enough; I feel better after reading but later I go back to feeling crappy. Thanks.
I guess I should give some background first. I'm a 20 year old college student. I dated this girl for 13 months (1/06-2/07) and we broke up because of something I did physically with her. She said that she had been praying to God for a sign to know if we were meant to be or not and she took that moment where I went too far physically as God saying that we weren't meant to be. At the time she told me that she no longer liked me, but a couple months after we broke up, she told me that she did. We remained close friends a year after we broke up but have not spoken much since. Anyways, she has moved on (dated a couple guys since then, she almost kissed me while she was dating the first one) but i haven't dated anyone since; I have tried to like other girls but none of them even come close to her. I'm still in love with her. I guess it is also worth mentioning that my best friend for many years started hanging out with her and a couple other people after she and I broke up...that hurt (havent spoke to him since). I've been trying on my own to get back together with her but all attempts have not been successful. But recently, I have been reading my Bible a lot and have realized (and was confirmed one Sunday in church) that He wants me to stop trying to solve the situation on my own and to give it to Him. Needless to say a) I like feeling like I'm in control of my life and b) it made me feel like I was never going to be with her again and that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone. But I prayed and God told me that I need to trust in Him and to let His will be done, not mine. I cried myself to sleep that night but the next day I felt a little better (this was last week). My birthday was yesterday and I spent it alone, and I guess it just brought all my fears and worries back (that there is no one out there for me, that she and I aren't getting back together, and that I will always be alone).
Anyways, I said all that to ask: How do I trust God when I'm scared to lose what little I have left? I know He has what's best for me but it's still scary. I know what the Bible says but it doesnt feel like it's enough; I feel better after reading but later I go back to feeling crappy. Thanks.
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